


Just What I Needed

by Lily_PinkSpider



Category: Jrock, LUNA SEA, X JAPAN
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Healing, M/M, Romance, Serious Illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:59:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 83,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21514171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_PinkSpider/pseuds/Lily_PinkSpider
Summary: They'd been friends forever it seemed--been through good times and bad--but what would it take to convince two stubborn musicians that they belonged together? A good dose of loneliness? Encouragement from close friends? How about a life-threatening illness?
Relationships: Heath (X JAPAN)/Sugizo (LUNA SEA), Toshi/Yoshiki (X JAPAN)
Comments: 66
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fictional story from my fertile imagination using real people. Absolutely no offense meant to persons living or deceased. 
> 
> "Hide" is capitalized for ease of reading.

“Okay, go for another take,” the voice on the speaker said, trying not to sound tired. The dark-haired man nodded and began again where he had the previous two times…or was it three? Regardless, he hoped that he could keep the next coughing fit at bay until he could at least get his bass part done on this one song. It was taking forever.

It wasn’t to be, however, and not far into the chorus Heath began to cough again just like he’d done several times already.

“Yoshi…I’m sorry,” he said from behind his mask. He didn’t dare come to the studio without a mask on considering how terrible he’d been feeling for the last week. ‘I’ll try again’ was what he meant to say, but that deep, hoarse cough returned again and Yoshiki couldn’t take any more.

“Heath…go home and get better...please?” he offered from behind the soundboard. “This can wait a few more days. We don’t have a deadline.”

The bassist felt terrible for wasting everyone’s time, but he had been feeling better at home so he’d thought he could make it through the session.

“Okay, I’m going,” he sighed as he turned in the swivel chair to return his bass to its stand.

Standing up, though, proved to be more of a feat than first thought as his long, thin legs didn’t seem to be all that solid at the moment. He leaned a bit too far one way and found himself in a heap on the floor of the studio. Before he knew what was happening, he had two pairs of hands trying to help him up.

“Heath, you okay, man?” asked the bassist’s self-appointed big brother, Toshi. “Here, let us help you up,” he said, indicating himself and the band’s lead guitarist, Sugizo. They took him under the arms and placed him back on the chair he’d previously been sitting in.

“Dammit,” Heath muttered. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just got a little dizzy there for a second.”

The two men could tell he didn’t look well at all. Placing a hand on Heath’s forehead, Sugizo gave a little whistle.

“You’re burning up. What the hell are you doing here like this?”

“I just…I didn’t want to let anyone down. We’ve already had so many delays,” the bassist responded, giving a little shake of his head.

There had been delays—lots of them—for one reason or another. Heath was determined to get his bass tracks down so that he would’ve at least done his part in getting this new album done, but this damn flu just wouldn’t cooperate.

“I’ll be okay in a few days,” he said, hoping he was right. “I’ll just go home and get some sleep.”

“Have you been back to the doctor yet?” Toshi asked.

Heath nodded. “Oh yeah. He gave me three different prescriptions plus a list of over the counter stuff I could take.”

By this time, Yoshiki had extracted himself from behind the soundboard and joined them in the other room. He squatted to be eyelevel with Heath and laid a concerned hand on the younger man’s knee.

“Be sure you’re eating as much as you can, okay? I know it’s tough when you really don’t feel up to it,” the blonde said gently. “And don’t forget to drink enough! You’re probably dehydrated and that’s why you got dizzy.” He paused and smiled. “Is that cute girlfriend of yours taking proper care of you?” Yoshiki asked with a warm smile.

‘ _Oh yeah,’_ Heath thought to himself. _‘She’s a real big help.’_ He nodded in spite of himself. He was in no mood to play 20 Questions with the big brother brigade. “I’ll be okay. Gonna go home and hibernate for a while.”

The other three men nodded and as Sugizo helped steady Heath when he attempted to stand again, a thought struck the bassist.

“Ah damn…” he groaned. “I rode my bike here. Felt okay earlier so it was no big deal.” He knew he couldn’t make it home on a motorcycle in his present state.

“It’s cool, I’ll give you a lift,” the guitarist said. Toshi and Yoshiki nodded.

“I don’t want to be any trouble,” Heath said apologetically.

“Stop it. I said I’ll take you and that’s the end of it,” Sugizo replied. “It’s no trouble.”

“Well…okay,” Heath reluctantly agreed.

“We’ll be sure your bike is locked up for ya, okay? Don’t worry about it,” Yoshiki said as Sugizo with Heath in tow made their way across the room towards the door after picking up their bags. “You just get better.”

After watching them leave, Toshi slipped an arm around Yoshiki’s slim waist and pulled him closer. “That boy…,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

The blonde let out a small laugh. “That ‘boy’ is only a couple years younger than us, silly. You still think of him as a kid, don’t you?” he asked, turning to look at Toshi.

“Well, not a kid exactly,” the singer began, “but he’ll always be my kid brother.” He smiled up at the other man.

“You’re a good big brother,” Yoshiki said softly with a smile and placed a light kiss on Toshi’s lips. “Let’s do something about dinner. I’m starving!”

_______________

Once Sugizo had gotten Heath into the car and started on the way towards the bassist’s apartment, he began asking questions.

“So the doctor dosed you up, huh? Is it helping at all?” he asked, the concern obvious.

“Eh…sorta,” Heath answered, indicating that the meds were helping some. He kept his gaze toward the floorboard, not meeting the other man’s eyes. Another coughing fit hit and it took a bit to pass.

Sugizo glanced over at him momentarily. He got the feeling that Heath wasn’t being completely forthcoming with him.

“Are you taking them like you’re supposed to?” he asked with just a hint of ‘Dad’ in his voice. Having been a father for quite a few years, he had had some practice using the ‘Dad voice’.

Heath had to chuckle a bit. “Alright, Daddy Dearest…I’m not your kid, remember?” he said, bemused. “Hell, I’m older than you are.”

“Don’t change the subject,” Sugizo pressed. “Are you taking your meds like the doctor told you to?” he asked, rewording the question.

“The ones I have, I’m taking like he said to.”

Sugizo nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. Something about that statement bothered him though. After a minute or so, he said, “Wait… _the ones you have_? You didn’t get all the prescriptions filled, did you?” he accused.

 _“Dammit,”_ Heath thought when he knew he was caught. “No, no I didn’t. I hate taking medicine, you should know that by now. It always seems to make me sicker.”

Sugizo sighed heavily and pulled over into a nearby parking lot. Once the car was stopped, he shifted into ‘Park’ and turned in his seat to face his friend.

“Heath…what am I gonna do with you? The flu isn’t something to play around with. Remember how sick I was a couple years ago? Took me forever to completely get rid of that shit. You _have_ to take the meds like the doc says or you’re gonna end up in the hospital.”

Heath just nodded. He didn’t feel like debating the issue. Sugizo thought he looked a bit paler than before and it worried him.

“Come on, let’s get your medicine and get you home. Is Cami able to come over and help take care of you?” he asked, hoping Heath’s girlfriend was available to watch after his friend.

“I’ll call her when I get home,” the bassist offered quietly.

“Okay, so let’s get what you need then,” Sugizo said, pulling back out into traffic.

An hour later saw Heath dropped off at home with the rest of his prescriptions filled plus some groceries he’d needed. On his way out the door, Sugizo turned and looked at his sick friend.

“I know you hate to bother people, but please…you’re no bother. If you need me for anything, will you please just call or text me?” he asked, looking Heath straight in the eyes and touching him on the arm.

The dark-haired man sighed and nodded. “I will. Thank you, Sugi,” he said quietly.

“Feel better!” Sugizo said with a smile, closing the door behind him and shaking his head as he walked toward the elevator. “That boy…”


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay, let’s take a break,” Yoshiki said, pushing his chair back from the soundboard. “I’ve got a few phone calls to make anyway.”

“Sounds good, I’m starving,” Sugizo said with a grin, putting his violin down carefully onto its stand. “What’s in the kitchen?”

“About time…I need a smoke,” Pata said to no one in particular and headed for the outside door.

Toshi followed the younger guitarist into the kitchen area of the studio and together they investigated the refrigerator and cupboards.

“I know Yoshi ordered a decent amount of food to restock this place, I just hope it made it down here already,” he offered.

“Oh yeah…jackpot!” Sugizo said with a laugh as he discovered the variety of food in the catering boxes. “Let’s eat!” He pulled a couple of boxes out and handed them to Toshi while he grabbed drinks for the two of them.

As they sat down to their lunch with Pata having rejoined them, Toshi looked over at the other two musicians. “Have either of you heard from our MIA bassist? I wonder how he’s feeling.”

Pata shook his head. “Nope, not a squeak. I’m guessing he’s holed up in his apartment with his ‘nurse’.”

“I haven’t heard from him either,” Sugizo added, feeling a twinge of concern. “Think he’s okay?”

He hadn’t told the others about Heath’s little white lie concerning his prescriptions. No need to add insult to injury while the man was sick. Yoshiki and Toshi were not two you wanted on your case even on a good day, much less when you felt like hell.

“I’m guessing Yoshi hasn’t heard from him either, then.”

“No, not that he’s told me,” Toshi answered after taking a drink.

“And he tells you _everything_ , right?” Pata said with a smirk.

Toshi rolled his eyes. “Yeah, riiiiight.”

“What’s riiiight?” Yoshiki asked as he walked into the tail end of Toshi’s reply.

Toshi looked down at his plate. “ _You’re_ right, of course. I was saying how you ordered all this food for us and told the caterer to make it healthy stuff…and you were right to do that,” he said, taking another drink and avoiding eye contact.

Yoshiki eyed his lover suspiciously, but all he said was, “Uh huh…”. The connotation of which was ‘I don’t believe you in the slightest, but I’ll get the truth outta you later’. He turned and opened the fridge to get something for his own lunch.

Sugizo grinned and shot a look at Pata who shot a look back but neither man said anything right away. They couldn’t help but be amused by the two old friends who had always acted like an old married couple.

“Since no one’s asked lately, I will,” the younger guitarist started a few minutes later, a note of mischief in his voice. “ _When_ are you two gonna quit playin’ around and get married?” He gazed at them both with an innocent smile.

“Recommending it, are you, Mr. I. M. Divorced?” Yoshiki shot back.

Pata and Toshi both got a chuckle out of Sugizo’s resulting expression. The Princess was quick with the comebacks today.

The pianist took a long drink of red wine and put his glass down carefully, continuing to gaze at the stemware for several moments. Finally, he looked up at Toshi questioningly and a smile crept across his well-defined lips. Toshi nodded slightly and smiled as well.

“Later this year—you coming?” the vocalist asked with a growing smile that he couldn’t contain any longer.

“No fucking way! Seriously?!” Sugizo exclaimed with a wide smile.

Pata chuckled and added, “Well, it’s about damn time!”

Yoshiki leaned over and kissed his intended briefly, his smile wide and his pretty eyes dancing. “Yeah, well…it _is_ time. We just have to get Hide’s blessing now. You think he’ll approve?”

Pata and Sugizo both nodded with warm smiles on both of their faces.

“Absolutely,” Sugizo said in an almost whisper, his voice so tender it revealed the gentle man that he was.

“You know he will,” Pata added, smiling at the thought of what Hide might’ve actually said when he was told.

Sugizo had gotten up from his place at the table and walked around behind the newly affianced to hug them both and place kisses on top of their heads. “I’m playing at the wedding!” he announced with a laugh.

“Yes, yes you are,” Yoshiki confirmed with a nod and a laugh. “Damn, I wish Heath had been here so we could tell you all at once. Anyone heard from him?”

“No, that’s actually what we were talking about when you came in a bit ago. You haven’t talked to the boy either, I’m guessing,” Pata said.

Yoshiki shook his head. “I’m calling him. It’s been two full days. I need to know he’s alright,” he stated, pulling out his phone and hitting Heath’s name. He’d be damned if anything else was going to happen to this band and its members.

After several moments, he spoke. “Hey Heath, it’s Yoshi. Hope you’re feeling better! Please give me a call, okay? Let us know how you’re doing. We’re getting a little worried. Love ya!” He pushed ‘end’ on his phone and looked around. “Voicemail. It did ring though, so his phone is on and charged.”

“He’s probably asleep,” Sugizo suggested. “Let’s try again in a bit.”

He knew what all that medicine plus the flu itself could do to a body, so he was hoping he was right and Heath was just sleeping and didn’t hear the phone. He told himself that he’d find out for sure in just a few hours, even if they couldn’t get him on the phone.

About an hour later, Toshi tried calling the bassist with the same result as before. He left a message, asking his ‘kid brother’ to call him. He looked worried as he placed his phone back on the table, but didn’t say anything.

_‘No need to wind The Princess up,’_ he thought.

An hour later and both Pata and Sugizo had tried calling Heath, their results were the same as the other two men. The four of them exchanged worried glances.

“Okay, fuck this. I’m going over there,” Sugizo said suddenly, putting his guitar down and snatching up his bag from where it lay against the wall. “I’ll call and let you guys know how he is, ‘k?” he said, moving towards the outside door. He suddenly paused.

“Oh and if he’s worried us for no reason, I’m gonna slap him around a bit, just so ya know…” the guitarist added before pulling the door closed.

The remaining three looked at each other. “He wouldn’t…would he?” Toshi asked, not sure if he was seriously questioning this or not.

_______________

On the way over to Heath’s apartment, Sugizo tried again to get the man on the phone with no better luck than he’d had before.

“Heath…answer the damn phone, bro…” he hissed when the voicemail message started for the third time. “Where is that girl of his? Can’t she hear his phone ringing off the hook?”

His long, thin fingers tapped nervously on the steering wheel as he drove, his speed increasing little by little until he was pushing the little sportscar harder than he should be on roads wet from the rain that was still falling.

“I should have checked on him before now…” he told himself aloud. “Why didn’t I call yesterday?”

He tried telling himself that while the flu was serious, Heath had all the medicines that he should need in order to fight it.

“Plus,” he said to himself, “whats-her-name is supposed to be there to help him. Surely she wouldn’t leave him alone once she knew how sick he was…”

Sugizo then had a frightening thought. _‘What if he never called her? He’s extremely independent and hates to ask anyone for help…what if he’s been lying there in his apartment all this time alone?’_

“Dammit! Why didn’t I call him?!” he said audibly and sped up just a little more. As he was exiting the freeway, his phone rang, the sound of which nearly made him jump out of his skin.

The display read “HEATH” and Sugizo fumbled to hit the right button to answer it.

“Heath! Man, am I glad to hear from you!” he paused. “You had me worried!” he exclaimed but went quiet when he realized Heath hadn’t actually spoken. “Heath?!” he said again, almost pleadingly.

From the other end of the line came a thin, reedy voice, barely audible over the sounds of the car and the rain on the windshield.

“Sugi…I need help,” the voice croaked, not sounding much at all like Heath.

“I’m on my way right now! I’m maybe 10 minutes from your place. Just hang in there, okay?” Sugizo replied, trying to reassure his sick friend.

“Are you alone, bro?” he asked, wanting some answers. Before Heath could really reply though, he started weakly coughing and wheezing which made breathing difficult and speech impossible.

“Never mind, don’t try to talk. Listen to me…try to get over and unlock the front door for me, okay? I’m almost to your street.” He was taking corners faster than he should and nearly running through stop lights.

“Heath?! You still with me, buddy?” he asked, hoping to hear some sort of response from the man. What he got was a very frail sounding ‘yes’ followed by more wheezing. Sugizo grimaced and shook his head. _‘Poor guy,’_ he thought, remembering how bad his own chest hurt when he had been sick with the very same thing. The next sound heard was that of breaking glass and a muffled ‘thud’.

“Heath?! What happened?” he demanded, hearing only a faint moan in response. “Are you okay?!”

Taking the first parking spot he could find, the auburn-haired man launched himself from the car and took off at a run towards the doors to the lobby of Heath’s apartment building, keeping his phone pressed to his ear the entire time. Once inside, he practically slid across the polished floors, coming to a halt in front of the elevator doors. He frantically pressed the elevator call button…

“Heath?”

…and watched as the numbers counted down…

Ever.

So.

Slowly.

“Heath?! Answer me. Tap on the phone…make some noise.”

Pause. Nothing.

“Heath! Bro, come on now! Make some noise!”

Pause. Still nothing. The agonizingly slow doors finally opened.

“I’m getting on the elevator so I might not hear you, but I’m almost there! Stay with me, man!”

It was the longest elevator ride in the history of mankind by the time Sugizo finally reached the 15th floor where Heath lived. All the way up, he tried again and again to get some answer--some sound--from his friend, but there was only silence.

When he finally arrived at the correct floor, the doors weren’t opening fast enough for the guitarist, so once they began parting, he reached in and pushed with all his might until the opening was wide enough for his slender frame to squeeze through and he was off at a run down the corridor to apartment #1510.

Reaching the door, he found that it was indeed unlocked, but he could only get it open about 4 or 5 inches before it was stopped by something in the way.

“Heath! Can you hear me?! I can’t get the door open!” he yelled through the crack. “Where are you?!”

He listened at the door, but there was no sound. He tried opening it again, but the door was still blocked. “Heath!”

Sugizo was getting frantic. He was so close to being able to help his friend, but he couldn’t get this damn…door…

_‘He’s collapsed by the door...’_

The realization hit him and he swallowed hard. He knelt on the floor and reached through to see if he could confirm his suspicions.

_‘Soft…okay, that’s cloth…’_ He continued. ‘ _Damp…clammy…skin…Oh god…’_

He knew he’d been right. “Heath, can you move at all?” he asked, knowing he probably wouldn’t get a reply.

“I’m going to push the door open enough to get in, bro,” he said to the figure on the other side, not really sure why he was announcing things. “You can’t hear me.”

Sugizo started pushing firmly against the door, grimacing as he knew he was having to push his friend’s body aside with the door as he applied pressure. He just hoped that he wasn’t shoving against Heath’s face and head.

As gently as he could, he pushed and shoved until finally there was enough room for him to squeeze through into the apartment. Carefully stepping over the still form on the floor, Sugizo knelt down and turned Heath over onto his back, the phone falling from the bassist’s long fingers and onto the floor. As the screen lit up, Sugizo saw his own name there.

“Heath!” he called, patting the unconscious man’s cheeks, trying to get some reaction. “Bro, please! Wake up,” he pleaded.

There were deep, dark circles under Heath’s eyes and his lips had almost no color save a tinge of blue.

_‘He’s so pale…so pale…he looks…’_

All at once he shook his head. “No! Fuck, no! Not happening!” he yelled at Heath. He refused to let those thoughts into his head. “You WILL wake up!” Panicked, Sugizo slapped his friend’s face hard. No response.

He felt for a pulse on Heath’s neck. His skin was clammy as Sugizo pressed two fingers against his pulse point, hoping to feel _something._

An anxious few moments passed. “Oh, thank the heavens!” he said aloud when he felt what he was searching for. It wasn’t strong, but it was there. A finger placed under Heath’s nose let him feel that he was, in fact, still breathing albeit shallow.

Jerking his phone from his back pocket, Sugizo called for an ambulance and did as the dispatcher told him. Sitting on the floor behind him, the guitarist pulled his friend’s upper body into his lap, elevating him some so that breathing would be easier. With a kitchen towel, he tried to dry Heath’s fevered face and neck a bit, wishing he could see those big, brown eyes open and sparkle up at him right then. He swept the long black hair, wet with sweat, away from the man’s face.

“Be okay, bro…please,” he whispered more than once.

All he kept thinking was _‘how the hell did things get this bad this quick?’_ but he knew he’d have to wait for Heath to regain consciousness before he could get any answers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought readers in the US could use a Thanksgiving Eve treat, so here ya go! Happy Thanksgiving to all and wishes for a wonderful holiday with family and friends! :D

Pata, Toshi, and Yoshiki came hurrying into the hospital waiting room looking everywhere for Sugizo. Once he noticed them, he raised his hand and waved to them from his place near the back window. He was trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible while he waited for the three to arrive, not wanting to be rude, but not in the state of mind to play rock star right now.

Toshi led off with the questions that Sugizo knew were coming. There were a lot of “I don’t know” and “I haven’t heard anything yet” answers coming from the guitarist.

“Guys, seriously—I’ve told you everything I know. We’ll just have to wait for the doctors now,” he said once he’d explained exactly what happened.

Yoshiki had gone a little pale and leaned into Toshi when Sugizo had recounted the part about Heath having collapsed in the foyer and him having to push the door open against his unconscious body. All of them, including Sugizo, wanted to know just what had been happening over the last couple of days.

“It’s been bad, apparently,” Pata surmised. They all nodded in agreement.

After what seemed an eternity, a nurse came out into the waiting room and announced that she was looking for “the Morie family”. Yoshiki quickly headed her way with the others close behind.

“Hiroshi Morie?” the blonde asked. She nodded. “We’re his brothers,” he told the nurse.

_‘It’s mostly true—we’ve all been close like brothers forever,’_ he thought, hoping she’d just take his word for it and they could get an update on Heath’s condition even though they weren’t, strictly speaking, family.

“Umm, well…” she began, knowing at a glance that there was no way all of these diverse-looking men were in one family. She tilted her head and looked harder at Yoshiki and then shifted her gaze over to Toshi. That was when realization dawned on her. Eyes open wide, she struggled to say, “I’ll…I’ll be right back—I have to ask the doctor in charge.”

She bowed several times very quickly and scurried off back into the treatment area of the Emergency Center but not before looking back at the assembled group, eyes still wide.

They all sighed almost in unison. “They may as well talk to us—we’re all he’s got,” Toshi said quietly.

“Yoshi, better turn on that charm or we’re not gonna find out a damn thing,” Pata said wearily.

The others nodded in agreement. If you needed a locked door opened, the “key” had always been Yoshiki’s Colgate smile and charm, though the others, especially Sugizo, could be utterly disarming as well.

“Oh, we’ll get some information, one way or another,” the blonde said, nodding his head. He had that determined look about him again. Toshi nodded. He knew what Yoshiki was capable of when the situation called for it.

Before very long at all, a middle-aged doctor came hurrying out looking for the group. Upon spotting them, he approached respectfully and gave them a deep bow which the men returned.

“Gentlemen, I’m Dr. Yazaki--I’m in charge of Morie-san’s treatment.” He gave a small bow to each of them in turn. “If you’d like to follow me, we can go somewhere more private to talk.”

They were all glad of that. The other people in the waiting room were being respectful, but there were lots of stares and whispers. Better to go somewhere else to talk about Heath’s condition.

Once through the double, swinging doors that led into the treatment area, the group walked a little way down the hall and were directed into a small office. The doctor closed the door and turned to the four of them. “Please, gentlemen—sit.”

Yoshiki, Toshi, Pata, and Sugizo all found chairs and sat, anxious to hear what the man in charge of their friend’s care had to say.

Dr. Yazaki put on a gentle smile. “Before I begin, I must ask--does he have any family close that we can speak with?”

All of them shook their heads with Toshi speaking up. “No, he’s been an ‘orphan’ for a lotta years now. We’re the closest thing to family that the boy has,” he informed, his voice sounding a bit sad.

Yoshiki and Pata nodded, looking solemnly at the doctor. Sugizo just held his head in his hands, trying to stay calm. It had been too long since he’d known how his good friend was doing and his patience was wearing thin.

“Can you please just tell us how he is?” the auburn-haired man started. “There’s no one else for you to talk to.” He gave the man a rather stern look. 

“Shhhh, Sugi…,” Pata whispered, rubbing the younger man’s back. “He has to ask.”

Dr. Yazaki gave a small nod. “Yes, I do have to ask, but I believe what you’re telling me.” He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat.

“Morie-san is currently listed in Serious condition, but he’s fairly stable at this time. We’re working to bring his fever down as quickly as we can without potentially causing further problems. We have him under a cooling blanket as well as having ice packs in several places along his body. It can’t be done too quickly, though.

We have him on a ventilator at present so that his body isn’t working so hard to breathe. This way, his lungs can relax more while he’s still getting the oxygen he needs.”

“For the flu?” Yoshiki asked.

“For the flu plus pneumonia,” the doctor answered. “He has a significant amount of fluid in his right lung. He was exhausting himself just trying to breathe. Here, I have the X-rays.”

He got up from the desk and flipped the switch on the lightbox on the wall, turning it on. He then slid the two films into place.

“See? The left lung looks fairly normal, though it’s obvious he’s a smoker.” The doctor then pointed to the right lung. “See the difference? All of that is fluid build-up. That’s why he can’t breathe.”

The four musicians paled a bit. “Oh my god…” big brother Toshi groaned while shaking his head. “When did _that_ develop?!”

“Exactly. Two days ago he had a fever and a bad cough and now he has _pneumonia_?!” Sugizo asked, a little more forcefully than he probably meant to. “How does that happen?”

“Well, I know he was under treatment for the flu. Do you know if he was taking his meds as prescribed?”

The guitarist shrugged. “Before Friday, no, he wasn’t. But when I dropped him off at home that evening, I made sure he had all his medicine plus food and stuff to drink that would help. I can’t believe he didn’t do as he was supposed to after all that.”

“I’m thinking that he probably wasn’t being treated for the right strain of the flu—there are several out there right now,” Dr. Yazaki began. “The strain that he tested positive for when we got him here is a particularly nasty one.”

Sugizo sighed heavily. “I should’ve gone over there. I knew how sick he was and I didn’t check up on him again. Dammit!” He dropped his head into his hands once again, grasping his hair.

“Sugi, we _all_ dropped the ball on this one—it’s not just you,” Yoshiki offered.

“I thought for sure his girlfriend would help him out,” Sugizo said. “I wish I had that bitch’s phone number…” he added with a snarl.

Toshi sighed and looked back at the doctor. “Anything else you can tell us, Yazaki-san?”

“Well, the next 24 to 48 hours are critical. He’s on high-powered antibiotics and we’re hoping the fluid problem will right itself soon. If not, we’ll have to put in a chest tube to get rid of it so that he can breathe on his own. We have him sedated, of course, so he won’t fight the ventilator. If things go really well, we should be able to let him wake up in about 3 days or so.”

“ _Three days_?! Toshi and Sugizo said at almost the same time.

The doctor nodded. “We’re hoping to get his fever to break and his lung to clear in that time. He’s extremely weak and fragile right now. We have to proceed carefully or we risk doing damage.”

“So when can we see him at least?” Yoshiki asked.

“I can let two of you go back with me right now and hopefully the other two can see him in a few hours. Who wants to go first?” Dr. Yazaki asked.

Naturally, they all wanted to go and see their friend, but if it had to be only two from the group, big brother Toshi had to be one. Pata and Yoshiki agreed that Sugizo should be the second since he was the one to rescue Heath and also because the younger man was working himself up into an anxiety attack. Maybe seeing him would help, they thought.

Yoshiki laid a hand on his fiancé’s arm. “You and Sugi go first. Pata and I will visit Heath later this evening.”

Toshi turned and looked him in the eyes, silently asking ‘ _Are you sure?’_ The blonde nodded and smiled. “Go see the boy and give him a kiss from me, okay?”

“Will do,” he responded quietly. Turning in his seat, the vocalist looked over at Sugizo. “You ready? Let’s go see the boy.”

Sugizo and Toshi followed Dr. Yazaki into the treatment area after donning masks, paper gowns to cover their clothes, and gloves.

Toshi reached over and grasped the taller man’s hand. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Sugizo said, looking into Toshi’s dark eyes.

“Okay, just remember,” the doctor began, “he’s going to look pretty rough. There are wires and tubes everywhere. They’re necessary right now, unfortunately. We’ll remove as much as possible to make him more comfortable just as soon as we can.”

With that, he turned and led them past curtain after curtain, bed after bed, until they came to the isolation rooms. Their friend was in the first one.

Walking straight in, the doctor then stepped aside to allow the two men to get closer to the bed. “Go ahead, it’s okay to get closer,” he told them, noticing that they had stopped just inside the door.

The sight that met their eyes was something out of a nightmare for anyone who cared about Heath. The man himself was barely visible under all the various wires and tubes that the doctor had warned them about. Ice packs, cooling blanket, heart monitor leads, IV lines into both arms, blood pressure cuff, pulse ox, beeping heart and blood pressure monitors, and worst of all…that damned ventilator “breathing” for Heath…there was medical tape across his lips and the two men knew there was a tube down his throat. Toshi absentmindedly rubbed his own throat when he thought about that.

“Good thing he’s out of it,” the vocalist said quietly, just feeling like he needed to say _something_. He swallowed hard and got as close as he dared, taking in the sight of his ‘little brother’.

“I didn’t think it was possible for him to look any smaller…”

Not hearing a reply or indeed anything from Sugizo, Toshi looked up at the man standing on the other side of the bed. As he watched, the younger man carefully leaned over Heath and with one hand stroked their sick friend’s dark hair back from his face again and again. Every time the ventilator sounded, pushing air into the bassist’s lungs, Sugizo flinched, a pained expression on his face.

“He’s still burning up, Tosh. How much more can his body stand?”

“They’re trying their best to get the fever to break, Sugi. We just have to pray that it happens soon,” Toshi responded.

Sugizo nodded and continued to touch Heath’s face and hair as much as he dared. “I’m so so sorry…please forgive me…” he whispered as a few tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Seeing this, Toshi moved around to the same side of the bed as the guitarist and placed his hands on the man’s slim waist. “Sugi…it’s not your fault, bro…you know that, right?”

“I should’ve checked on him…called him…went over there…SOMETHING!” he admitted, the tears still falling. “If he doesn’t…” he stopped, not wanting to even finish that thought, much less say it aloud.

Toshi bodily turned Sugizo around and made him look into his face. “Yune…” he said, calling the man’s first name which was very rarely used. It got his attention though, which was Toshi’s intention.

“…Heath is going to be okay. He will. It’s going to take a little while, but he WILL pull through this. You HAVE to believe that. We’ve lost two already…that’s two too many. Heath will pull through,” Toshi said with a confidence that he didn’t really feel, but it was killing him to see Sugizo crying and blaming himself for Heath’s condition.

He pulled him into a hug and said, “Come on, let’s let the boy rest. We’ll come back and see him again later, okay?”

Sugizo nodded and turned to Heath. “I’ll be back as soon as they’ll let me come in. Please just rest and get better, bro.” With that, he leaned over him and placed a small, mask-covered kiss on the sick man’s forehead.

Toshi stepped up then. He leaned over Heath and also placed a kiss on his forehead. “Love you, little brother. Please get well,” he said quietly. A couple of tears fell from his own eyes as he turned to leave. “Come on, Sugi. Let’s go.”

Together they walked back out of the treatment center and towards the waiting room.

“I need a drink like you wouldn’t believe,” said Toshi.

_______________

The four of them stayed at the hospital until late into the night, hoping for some encouraging news that never came. Pata and Yoshiki got their chance to go and visit their longtime friend a few hours after the other two had gotten back. Heath had been moved from the Emergency Treatment area up to the Intensive Care Unit, and they went to visit him there in his new room.

Walking back into the smaller, more private waiting room after seeing him, Pata supported Yoshiki with an arm around his waist while speaking quietly to him. It was clear that the blonde was fairly upset and this made Toshi and Sugizo jump to their feet to find out what was happening with Heath.

“No change,” Pata said, shaking his head.

Yoshiki leaned into his fiancé who promptly wrapped his arms around him. “Shhhh...I know,” he whispered to the overwrought man, stroking his hair.

While Yoshiki was being comforted by Toshi, Sugizo spoke with Pata to find out how their friend was doing.

“Probably about the same as when you saw him. The nurse said there hadn’t really been any change,” the older man reported quietly with a shake of his head. “I hate seeing the kid like that.”

“Believe me, I know. I can’t get the image out of my damn head,” Sugizo responded. “Every time I close my eyes…”

Knowing that trying to sleep there wasn’t really an option, they eventually made the decision to go home and meet back there in the morning.

Yoshiki gave the doctor himself a list of their private cell phone numbers with the understanding that not only would he keep it extremely private, but also that he would call at least one of them should Heath’s condition change. Dr. Yazaki had sworn that he would do just that.

Among the band members, they all promised to keep in touch about anything and everything. “And try to get some sleep, guys,” Pata added. He was becoming the ‘Dad’ of the band, even though he wasn’t actually the oldest.

“What? Somebody’s gotta look after you losers,” he said with a small grin in response to some of the looks he was getting.

“Stepping into Hide’s role?” Toshi asked tiredly with the best smile he could muster.

Pata replied, “Something like that.”

_______________

Sugizo drove home slowly, stereo turned off, windows down to catch the fresh, night air. He was totally lost in thought as he made his way through the streets towards his apartment.

Playing the blame game wouldn’t help or change a single thing—he knew that--but he couldn’t help but wonder if the current situation would be any different IF…

_‘…if I had checked on him…if he’d had someone there to help take care of him…if he had been taking his medicine like he was supposed to from the start…’_

The guitarist sighed heavily and shook his head. He knew it was going to be a long, sleepless night. He often had trouble getting to sleep when he had a lot on his mind, unable to ‘turn off’ long enough to relax. He knew it was one of _those_ nights.

_‘Maybe I’ll try and write something,’_ he thought. _‘One more unfinished piece of music coming up…’_

By 2am, Sugizo had given up trying to do anything constructive and decided to take something to help him sleep.

“Hope this works,” he mumbled to himself, stripping down completely and crawling into his bed. Lying there with only the dim light from outside peeking through the curtains, he closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing. _‘Let go of everything…just breathe,’_ he told himself over and over. Eventually, the pull of the sleep aid got the best of him and he drifted off….

“Suuuugi…Suuuugi…” he said in a playful little voice. “Did you fall asleep on me?” He ran a finger lightly down the middle of Sugizo’s bare back and then back up again, finishing by drawing little circles on the man’s neck. Pushing silky auburn hair aside, he began softly kissing behind the left ear and moving down onto the shoulder, covering every inch of warm, bare skin.

“Are you gonna wake up for me…” he began, running a hand from Sugizo’s hip down across the man’s flat lower abs… “or do I need to give you some more…encouragement?” he asked with a bit of devilish glee in his voice.

The mouth kissed and nipped at the exposed earlobe, hot breath caressing and warming. The hand slowly moved lower until it came to rest between the sleeping man’s thighs, gently groping and rubbing until a sleepy moan was heard and the guitarist began to stir.

“Mmmmm…that feels so good,” Sugizo mumbled, still half asleep. “Don’t stop.”

“Turn over on your back for me…I have something for ya,” that quiet little voice whispered close to his ear.

The auburn-haired man grinned and did as he was asked, enjoying the feel of the silky sheets on his naked body. Even more, he was enjoying the warm, skilled touch that was feeling so good and so right about now.

The sheet was pulled off, purposely sliding against Sugi’s growing erection, causing the man to moan softly.   
  
With a soft chuckle, he made his way back up the guitarist’s body to nip and kiss at his exposed throat before slowly making his way back down. A pause at each nipple as the dusky bud was laved and suckled into hard points.

Sugizo groaned at the feeling, arching up into the warm mouth.

He grinned and looked at the man below him. “Liked that did you? Well, I think you’ll enjoy this as well.”  
  
Light kisses were placed on the abs beneath him as he made his way south. A pause as he tongued the guitarist’s navel, teasing him with what was to come. He grinned as the other man moaned beneath him before continuing on his route.  
  
The hardened shaft in front of him was ignored for the milky thighs on either side. Tender nips were given, driving the man beneath him wild. He could hear the change in breathing that showed the other man’s arousal.

With a grin, he moved closer to his target and took a long, slow swipe up the base of Sugizo’s erection before dipping his tongue into the slit at the top.   
  
“Mmm, you taste so good. I’ve waited a long time to do this.” Slowly, he circled the head of the guitarist’s cock before taking it into his mouth with a soft moan.  
  
Sugizo gasped at the sensation and tried to buck up into that warm, moist cavern, but a hand on his hip stopped him. He groaned in pleasure as he was taken deeper. Raising his head to look at the one that was giving him so much pleasure, he groaned as he locked eyes with the bassist. “Heath, please…”  
  
He watched as his length was swallowed to the root and that dark head began sliding up and down his shaft. It was pure bliss, but it was when the bassist began to rake his cock slightly with his teeth and hum on the way down that his breath sped up more. Sugizo needed something else, something more. Before he could ask, his hips were released and the hands that had been holding him wandered up to tease hardened nipples.  
  
Sugizo began to thrust into that warm cavern, but before he could be brought to completion, Heath stopped and looked up at him with those warm, brown eyes. “Tell me what you want, ‘Zo…”

Waking with a start, Sugizo lay there for a moment trying to decide if it had been a dream or not, but as reality came rushing back in, he remembered that it couldn’t have been Heath. Shaking his head, he got up to go take care of business in the shower.

After letting the water get to the right temperature, he stepped in and just let it run all down his body, soaking him thoroughly. He then took himself in hand and finished what the dream had not.

Sitting on the bed wrapped in a towel, he began admonishing himself for even having a dream like that.

_‘Where in the hell did that even come from? The man is in ICU fighting for his life and I’m having erotic dreams about him. God, I’m sick,’_ he thought, feeling ashamed.

He had been friends with Heath for more years than he cared to count and had officially been bandmates with him for the last three. Had he noticed the tall, slender, attractive bassist before? Of course he had. Had he ever been tempted to act on this attraction? Sure and he had—much more than once or twice. At this party or that, the two of them would be all over each other after a few drinks, ending up at one or the other’s apartment. Thinking back over the years, Sugizo estimated that he and Heath had slept together much more than a dozen times, but they’d never been in a proper relationship.

Most of that was in the past though. Since he’d joined X, he and Heath had played around a bit—sitting on each other’s laps or walking with arms around waists or even quick kisses when they’d had too much to drink--but that was more for the benefit of the other guys than anything serious.

As for orientation, Sugizo was bisexual and everyone in the band knew it and had no issue whatsoever with it, especially as three of the other four were bi as well. Only Pata claimed to be straight and even then there was some whispered talk contradicting that assertion.

He was running all of this through his head, but even then it didn’t explain why his brain had picked now to create a dream like that. He didn’t remember dreaming about Heath before this.

_‘Maybe you just need to quit overthinking. Get over yourself and get your ass back up to the hospital cause you know you’re not going back to sleep,’_ he told himself and that’s exactly what he did.


	4. Chapter 4

Tuesday morning was dawning gray and rainy as Sugizo drove back towards the hospital. He felt like he’d just left, but there was no point in staying at home pacing the floor, so he had gotten dressed and got in the car.

_‘Figures it’d be raining,’_ he thought. _‘How appropriate.’_

After stopping to get coffee and a little breakfast, he drove on to the hospital and found a decent parking spot. As he walked towards the doors, his mind was already running over a dozen different things.

_‘Well, I didn’t get a call from the doctor or one of the other guys. I hope that means that Heath is still doing okay.’_

_‘I really should call Ino and the guys and let them know what’s going on. They’ve known him forever just like I have.’_

_‘Dammit--I need to call Luna too and let her know…but not yet. Not until I know he’s going to be alright.’_

Sugizo’s teenage daughter was very well acquainted with many of her dad’s longtime friends and several of them had been given the honorary title of ‘Uncle’. Heath was no exception. In addition to Uncle Heath, there was Uncle J, Uncle Shinya, Uncle Ino, Uncle Ryu, Uncle Yoshi, Uncle Toshi, and Uncle Pata…and that was just a start. Everyone in their little tightknit community had watched Luna grow up and they all adored Sugizo’s baby girl.

_‘No, I’d better call her today. The longer I wait, the madder she’s gonna be at me,’_ he decided.

He could already see the hands on the hips and the eyerolls coming from the young girl. _‘Oh, the sass…’_ he thought and had to chuckle a bit. Having a teenager was turning out to be an interesting experience for the musician, but it was the first time he’d had anything like a smile on his face for a while though, so he just tried to stay in those thoughts for a bit.

Reaching the proper floor, he exited the elevator and walked around to the ICU waiting room. Upon entering, he went over to the telephone that allowed him to call the nurses’ station inside the unit. He said a quick prayer and picked up the receiver, dialing the number. After identifying himself, he asked the nurse for an update.

“Well, he’s still sedated, of course, but he had a good night. His vitals are a little stronger now. The fever is down considerably, so that’s encouraging. His doctor should be in to see him about the same time as the first visiting hour. Will you be in to see Morie-san then?” the nurse asked.

“Oh that’s great! And yes, I’ll be there. That’s still about three hours away though. Any way I could come in now and see him for just a moment? I won’t stay long, I promise.”

“Well…hang on just a minute—let me check his chart,” the nurse told him.

“Thank you,” Sugizo said sweetly, hoping he could just get back there for a couple of minutes. _‘Seeing him would make me feel so much better,’_ he thought to himself.

“Sir,” the nurse started, coming back onto the line, “Meet me at the door to the unit and I’ll let you see him for just a minute, okay?”

“Will you? Okay…thank you so much! I’ll be right there,” he told her, hanging up the phone and heading around the corner to the big, solid door where he waited for the nurse to appear.

In short order, the heavy door opened slowly and a petite nurse who appeared to be in her early 30s looked up at him. “Sugihara-san?”

“Yes,” he smiled warmly at her.

“Follow me, please. Can’t let you stay long, but I know how just a quick visit can make family feel so much better,” she said, returning the smile.

“Definitely…and thank you again.” He walked alongside her towards Heath’s room. “And please, call me Sugizo—everyone does,” he said warmly. She nodded up at him.

Laying his jacket and bag in a chair, the guitarist put a mask on and sanitized his hands where the nurse showed him. Then, taking a deep breath, he turned and walked over to his friend’s bedside, approaching a little timidly.

Heath did look better. The ice packs were gone, though he was still under a cooling blanket. Once the fever had completely broken, that would be removed as well. The ventilator, while necessary, was still something that Sugizo hated to see. It just made the situation seem so much more grim. But Heath’s color was better and that gave Sugizo hope.

“Hey Heath…it’s me again…Sugi. I told you I’d be back, brother,” he said, leaning over the bassist and stroking his hair. “The nurse tells me you’re doing better this morning—your fever is down. The antibiotics must be working.”

He looked around at all the monitors, wires, and tubes and shook his head slightly. “You’re going to get better, Heath—I know you are. Me and all the guys are going to be right here to do whatever we can to help ya.” He paused. “We love you, bro.”

With that, he leaned in and kissed his friend’s forehead. Fighting back tears that seemed to come from nowhere, he stroked Heath’s hair a few more times. _‘He just looks so helpless and weak. I can’t stand to see him like this,’_ he thought.

Before he could get lost in thought, however, the nurse touched his arm. “Let’s let him rest now. You can come back in soon, okay?”

Sugizo nodded. He placed another kiss on Heath’s forehead and promised to return as soon as the staff would let him.

_______________

Toshi and Yoshiki walked into the waiting room and the vocalist immediately spotted their auburn-haired friend across the room near the window, sitting sideways on one of the padded benches, legs pulled up to his chest. He was intently staring out at the falling rain. Toshi nudged his fiancé and nodded in that direction.

“Hey you…how long you been here?” he asked quietly as they approached.

The familiar voice caught Sugizo’s attention and he turned to look at his two friends. The vocalist had a concerned look on his face that was rather obvious. Yoshiki also looked worried and really tired like he hadn’t slept at all.

Looking at his watch, the guitarist stretched a little and rolled his neck. “About two hours, I guess.”

Toshi frowned a bit and sat on the bench. Laying a hand on Sugizo’s leg, he looked him in the face. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Not much,” he answered with a little shake of his head. “Tried…weird dreams. I just decided I’d be better off up here so I brought my stuff with me.”

Yoshiki and Toshi had already noticed that Sugizo had his laptop, planner, and notebook lying next to him. Yoshiki lifted his arm that carried his briefcase. “Yeah, I know the feeling,” the blonde said with a small smile.

“You two…” Toshi said. “Always working.”

“Keeps my mind off things,” the guitarist replied with a shrug.

“I know all about the bad dreams—had a few myself,” Yoshiki added, sighing and shaking his head.

_______________

His mind wandered back to the particular dream that he’d had earlier that morning. It was still pretty fresh in his mind, though details were a little fuzzy in places like most dreams.

_He had gone to Heath’s apartment looking for him when his bassist friend had failed to answer the phone after multiple attempts._

_“Heath! Are you here?” he asked, knocking loudly on the door._

_When that produced nothing, he tried the doorknob and found that it was unlocked, so he opened it a few inches and called out again._

_“Heath! Answer me, brother! Where are you?!”_

_Again, no answer. He started opening the door further, but found it blocked. He pushed firmly and was at last able to get inside but was horrified when he saw what had been blocking the door. Heath._

_“Oh my god…Heath!” he cried out, kneeling and turning his friend over onto his back._

_As he was turned, his head fell back and Yoshiki was horrified to see his face: his skin was extraordinarily pale with deep, dark circles under his eyes; his lips were almost colorless save a definite blue tinge; and his big, deep brown eyes were slightly open, but cold and unblinking. Yoshiki firmly patted his cheek a couple of times with no response._

_No sound. No movement. It was clear that his dear friend Heath was dead and now Yoshiki cradled him in his arms, holding him to his chest and sobbing._

_“No no no no no no…Heath…oh my god…Heath…” he cried, gently rocking him, face buried in his friend’s neck. “Why, baby…why??”_

_He stayed like that for several minutes, finally opening his eyes slightly and moving to kiss Heath’s cheek. As he did, a lock of hair fell across the ear and Yoshiki was stunned to see that it was pink, not black. Eyes opened wide, he slowly raised his head a little more to look closely at the face of the man he held._

_“Hide?? But…how?!” he stammered. “No, no…what’s going on?”_

_He thought he was surely losing his mind as he watched the face change from Hide to Heath to Hide to Heath._

_“Heath! Hide! STOP! I can’t…I can’t…”_

“Yoshi! Yoshi, wake up!” another voice intruded into the dream.

It was Toshi who was finally able to get him awake and somewhat calmed down after several tense minutes.

“Yoshi, baby…what’s wrong?!” Toshi asked more than once.

Yoshiki was sweating profusely and shaking like a leaf.

“Umm…umm…dream. Oh god…horrible dream,” the blonde was finally able to get out.

Toshi pulled him into his arms and just held him, rocking slightly.

“It’s okay now…it’s over. Just a dream. Are you okay?” he asked softly, pushing sweat-soaked blonde hair out of Yoshiki’s face.

Yoshiki closed his eyes and nodded, trying to concentrate on slowing his breathing. Toshi had managed to grab his own t-shirt off of the nearby chair and now he was gently drying his fiancé’s face and neck.

“That’s right, just try to calm down…you’re okay. Everything is okay,” the vocalist whispered.

“Heath…I have to call the hospital,” the blonde said, his breath catching in his throat. “Please, Love…call and make sure he’s okay. Please.”

“Alright. Give me a minute to find the right number and I’ll call, okay? Shhhh…just breathe for me…” Toshi replied softly, beginning to search the hospital website for the list of department numbers.

Just as he had dialed the number and was waiting for someone to answer, Yoshiki suddenly scrambled out of bed and went running into the bathroom. Toshi heard him dry heave a couple of times and then turn on the water in the sink.

_‘Poor baby,’_ he thought, shaking his head, knowing that the nightmare must’ve been pretty bad to make him physically ill like that.

The blonde walked back into the bedroom a few minutes later, toweling off his face. He sat on his side of the bed and looked at his fiancé expectantly, but almost afraid to find out what Toshi had heard.

“He’s okay, Yoshi. About the same as before, but his fever has gone down some. No major change though, okay?” the vocalist told him.

Yoshiki took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay…thank god.”

“You know I’m here to listen if you feel like talking about it, right?”

The blonde nodded.

“I love Heath like he’s family.”

Yoshiki nodded again.

They both laid back down with Toshi holding his distraught lover close. Yoshiki did eventually tell him about the dream, starting to cry again when the images flashed through his mind.

“We can’t lose anyone else, Tosh…I won’t live through it,” the blonde said through his tears.

_______________

Back at the hospital that morning, Toshi was trying to make sure everyone was taking care of themselves.

“Did you at least have breakfast?” the vocalist started. “You need to eat.”

_‘Big brother mode engaged, I see,’_ Sugizo thought. “Yes, I had a little something with my coffee.”

“We called a couple of hours ago to get an update on Heath. Have you heard anything since you’ve been here?” Yoshiki asked, taking a seat.

“Oh yeah—I saw him a couple hours ago. He’s a little better, the nurse says—fever is down. Still there, but down,” he reported.

“Yeah, that’s what they told me on the phone,” Toshi responded.

“How did you manage to get in before visiting hours?” the blonde asked.

“Probably sweet talked the nurse,” Toshi offered with a slight grin.

Sugizo chuckled. “No, didn’t have to. I just asked her if I could see him for a minute when I first got here.”

Yoshiki leaned forward in his seat. “Tell me everything…how does he look?”

“Honestly, about the same, but he has more color in his face. Still on the vent and everything, but the nurse sounded positive. Said he had a good night.”

“Thank the heavens,” Toshi whispered, his eyes closed as if in prayer.

Yoshiki took a deep breath and nodded. “Think we could get in to see him?”

Sugizo glanced at his watch again. “Regular visiting hour is soon, so they’d probably tell you to just wait. I need more coffee though—wanna walk with me?”

They both nodded. “Could use some myself,” Toshi said, stifling a yawn.

Later that afternoon, all four of the men had seen Heath with Pata joining them shortly before the first visiting period had begun. They all agreed that their bassist friend looked better and because of that, everyone felt more optimistic than they had.

Yoshiki had excused himself to take a phone call on his cell while Toshi was answering email on the laptop. Pata was hiding out behind his newspaper as per usual, so Sugizo thought it’d be a good time to go call his daughter.

_‘She should be home from school by now,’_ he thought, looking at the time. He didn’t want to call while his ex-wife was close by though, so he texted her first.

“Hey babygirl, can you talk?” he wrote, pressed Send and waited for a response.

In just a few minutes, his cell rang and the display read “Luna”. He smiled and answered it.

“Hey there,” he said softly.

“Hey Papa! What’s up?” Luna asked brightly.

“Well, I’m afraid I have some bad news, baby.”

“Awww, you’re not cancelling this weekend, are you? I wanted to see you!” she asked, already sounding disappointed.

“Umm, well…I don’t know. That’s not really what I was calling about, but I might have to, yes.” He paused and sighed. “Baby, Heath is really sick. He’s in Intensive Care at the hospital and we’re all kinda camped out up here for the time being.” He had heard a gasp when he mentioned Intensive Care, so he knew she understood the gravity of the situation.

“Oh my god…Uncle Heath…what’s wrong?!” Luna asked.

“It started off as the flu and progressed into pneumonia sometime over the weekend. He was brought into the hospital yesterday.” Sugizo stopped there, not sure how much he should tell his young daughter.

“Is he gonna be okay? Can I come see him?”

“Well…he’s some better today, but we haven’t heard anything more from his doctor yet. We’re all staying positive though. He looks better today than he did yesterday, that’s for sure.”

“That’s good. So can I come see him?” she asked again.

Her dad sighed. “If it was up to me, yes—but you know it’s not. You’ll have to ask your mom.”

Luna groaned. She thought she already knew what the answer was going to be. “You’re so much easier to deal with than she is, Papa.” She stopped and sighed heavily. “I’ll go ask her though, hang on.”

Sugizo shook his head—he knew what his ex-wife would say. She didn’t want Luna spending one minute longer with him than was absolutely necessary.

“Big surprise—she said no because it’s a school night and I have homework to do,” Luna reported, sounding upset.

“And she’s right, baby.”

“But Papa, Uncle Heath is more important!”

Sugizo sighed. “Tell you what—I’ll come pick you up Friday after school regardless and you can come see him then, okay? You might have to stay up here at the hospital with me for a while this weekend—that okay? Just depends on how he’s doing by then.”

“Of course, as long as I’m with you and I get to see Uncle Heath, I don’t care.”

“Okay, we’ll plan to do that then. I just wanted to let you know what was going on. Miss you, Honey,” Luna’s dad told her, using that sweet voice that he reserved especially for his baby girl.

“I miss you too, Papa,” she responded, sending him a kiss through the phone. “See you Friday, okay?”

“Definitely. Love you!” he said, kissing her back.

“Love you too!” she responded and hung up.

Sometimes she missed her dad so much. He was gone for a couple of months at a stretch sometimes depending on who he was touring with, but he never failed to call her, send her postcards, and bring her presents when he finally got home. Luna had never understood why her mother had to be so cold and mean toward a man that was obviously, to her at least, such a lovely, caring person.

She even hated to bring the subject of her dad up around her mom because it only got things started—especially now that Luna was older. Her mom would call him names and talk about how he was a drunk and a slut and that Luna deserved a better father. It always led to arguments and tears.

Luna just knew that her parents couldn’t be in the same room together for more than 10 minutes without something getting started and usually by her mom.

She sighed again and sat down at her computer to start her English lessons. Her dad was the one to encourage Luna to learn as much English as possible because he knew it would help her so much as an adult. ‘I wish I had,’ he always said. While he was capable of stringing a few sentences together in the foreign language, he was definitely not at a conversational level. Luna often helped him with his English when they were together, giggling at his pronunciation. ‘Oh Papa, you need to practice!’ she would tell him and kiss him on the cheek.

The teenager sat at her computer, lost in thought. She clicked through some pictures that she and her dad had taken on their last vacation and then came across a photo of her and Heath from about a year ago. She ran a finger over it and frowned.

Luna liked most all of her dad’s friends, but if she were honest, she would have to admit that she did have her favorites. ‘Uncles’ Ino, J, and Heath definitely topped her list.

“Poor Uncle Heath…get better soon, okay?” she said to the picture currently on her computer screen.

As she sat and thought, a plan began to formulate…

_______________

Shortly before 7pm that evening, a doctor walked into the waiting room and asked to see the Morie family. They looked at each other momentarily and then all of them raised their hands to call her over. Looks of apprehension crossed all four of their faces as the doctor approached, not knowing what she was going to tell them.

“Hello,” she said with a slight bow. “I’m Dr. Anza. Dr. Yazaki asked me to come and let you all know that Morie-san’s fever finally broke. We’ve been able to remove the cooling blanket and his temperature is back down to an acceptable level.”

“Oh my god, that’s fantastic,” Yoshiki exclaimed, sounding relieved.

“I don’t want to be the one to bring up anything worrying, but I have to ask. He’s had a high fever for a while now. Would it have caused him any damage?” Pata asked in a calm, measured voice.

The doctor thought for a moment about the best way to answer that. “That is definitely a question for his doctor, but to my knowledge, his fever never reached a level high enough to cause organ damage and I’ve seen no record of a seizure…but certainly ask his doctor,” she said, hoping to allay their fears.

They all nodded. “So what’s next?” Pata asked.

“His lung is still somewhat congested, but there are signs of improvement. Once that’s clear, we can take him off the ventilator and let him wake up,” she informed the four men.

“Any idea how long that might be?” Toshi asked before Sugizo had the chance.

“I couldn’t estimate with any accuracy, but we’re hoping within in the next 48 hours. It all depends on how quickly that lung clears.”

“Okay. Thank you so very much for coming to tell us. We all really appreciate it,” the blonde told her with a warm smile.

After going to visit Heath one more time that evening, they all decided it was time to go home for the night. The hope was that they could all sleep better knowing that their good friend was finally on the mend.

_______________

Feeling exhausted, Sugizo wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed as soon as he got home, but he knew he needed a shower first. Peeling off his clothes, he went and stood under the hot water for several minutes, hoping it would help relax him so that he could get some sleep. _‘No more dreams tonight,’_ he thought to himself.

During the day, he hadn’t given much thought to the erotic dream he’d had in the early morning, but now that he was home, the memory came flooding back.

_‘That mouth…that warm, wet, crazy-talented mouth…and those big, dreamy eyes looking up at me while he went down on my…STOP IT!’_ he thought, shaking his head, trying to remove those thoughts from his mind. He tried to concentrate on something—anything—else.

Towel-drying his hair, he wrapped himself in another towel and went to sit on his bed after stopping by the medicine cabinet and taking something to help him sleep. _‘I’m already exhausted, but if I don’t get enough sleep I’m gonna get sick again,’_ he told himself, knowing that letting himself get run down like he had a few years ago was not an option.

It had started with what he thought was a simple cold, turned out to be the flu, and just got worse from there. Unlike Heath, he had been taking all the meds he was supposed to but being a workaholic, he wouldn’t rest like he was told. He had three projects going at once and was in and out of studios all times of the day and night. It finally came down to him being too weak to get out of bed one morning to make him realize that he absolutely had to slow down. It took him weeks to get over the fatigue, stomach issues, and the cough. So when he was lecturing Heath about taking his medicine and doing as the doctor told him, he knew what he was talking about.

Unwrapping the towel from his body, Sugizo slipped under the covers and reached over to turn off the lamp beside the bed. _‘Okay now, just breathe and relax,’_ he told himself over and over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad everyone seems to be enjoying the story so far! Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Everyone! I thought all you good little boys and girls deserved something nice, so here's a new chapter! Hope you're enjoying the story so far! Please leave a comment and let me know...

The next morning found Sugizo at the hospital first again and he wasn’t sure if it was because he lived the closest or that he felt the most guilt about, as he saw it, abandoning Heath. Regardless, he stopped at the phone just like he’d done the morning prior to see if he could slip in and visit his friend for a minute.

“Oh, hello,” the nurse greeted him when he identified himself on the phone. “Hold on, let me check and make sure the staff aren’t in with Morie-san at the moment.”

After only a short wait, the nurse came back and said for him to meet her at the door. Sugizo smiled and said he’d be right there.

As he walked around the corner, he wondered if he was getting preferential treatment or if others just hadn’t inquired.

_‘You don’t ask, you don’t get,’_ he thought as the door opened to let him in to see his friend.

_______________

Meanwhile, at the light rail station a few blocks from the hospital, dozens of passengers disembarked and went their separate ways, heading in to work at the various office buildings. A good number of them headed toward the hospital as well. Among them, a smallish figure took a folded piece of paper out of a jacket pocket and checked the address. Glancing up at the street signs for confirmation, the individual nodded and started walking, stuffing the paper back into their outside pocket.

_______________

“Hey there, handsome,” the guitarist said to Heath, leaning over him and stroking his hair as had become his custom. “You’re looking better this morning,” he observed happily. 

Turning to the nurse, he asked for an update. “Except for the ventilator, he looks almost like his old self. He’s doing well, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he’s really progressing at last. It was touch and go that first 24 hours as you know, but especially since his fever broke, he’s been doing better and better. All of us are so glad to see that, too,” she reported with a smile.

“I’ll be so glad to see him wake up and open those eyes,” he told her, sounding a bit sad. “This has been so hard on all of us.”

“I know. I’ve seen you guys come to visit time after time since he’s been here. It’s really sweet to see how much you all care for each other.”

He nodded. “We’re brothers. Well, I’m still technically the newbie, but the other four have been together for quite a while now. We’ve all been friends though for what seems like forever.”

He turned back to Heath. “You hurry and get well, okay? I want to see you awake very soon.” He leaned over and kissed the man’s forehead despite the mask. “You owe me another ride on that new bike of yours.”

With that, he gave Heath’s hair another stroke and then turned to leave. “Thank you so much for letting me see him when it’s not really visiting hours. I hope you’re not risking getting in trouble for me,” he said, flashing a pretty smile that she could see now that he’d taken the mask off.

The nurse smiled back. “No, the doctor left orders that we were to let you all in to see Morie-san as much as possible.”

Sugizo raised his eyebrows at her. “Oh really? Well, I’ll tell the late comers that when they finally get themselves up here. Thank you again,” he said softly.

Heading back into the waiting room, he felt better than he had in several days. Just knowing that Heath truly was on the mend made everything seem better.

_______________

Finally reaching the large, glass front façade of the hospital, the small figure entered the automatic doors and searched for a floor listing. Finding the correct floor, they entered the elevator and pressed the corresponding button, watching the numbers light up until the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened. Signs pointed the way from there.

_______________

By 7:30, Yoshiki and Toshi had joined Sugizo in the waiting room with Pata absent due to a bad headache. He promised to join them as soon as he felt a little better. Naturally, Sugizo told them what the nurse had said about the doctor’s orders, so they had immediately gone in to see Heath.

They were all sitting around talking about how good their friend was looking and how relieved they all were, so they didn’t notice when a small figure wearing a backpack and a cap walked into the waiting room.

The newcomer walked straight over to their little group, hesitated for a moment, and then removed the cap.

“Hey Papa!” they heard a young, female voice say.

Sugizo turned his head and his eyes opened wide. “Luna?!”

The girl giggled and shrugged. “Hi! Surprise!” She leaned in and wrapped her arms around her dad’s shoulders.

The guitarist immediately hugged her and rubbed her back. “Baby, what are you doing here?” he asked once she released him.

“I’m sorry—I had to,” she replied, turning to look at the others. “Hi Uncle Toshi, Uncle Yoshi! I’ve missed you!” She hugged each of them in turn.

“Goodness, you’re growing up fast!” Toshi said with a big smile. Yoshiki smiled at her and nodded. “Sure are!”

“Luna, not that I’m not really happy to see you, but how’d you get here? I’m guessing your mom doesn’t know…” Sugizo asked his daughter, just knowing that her answer was going to get him into lots of trouble.

“Well, it wasn’t very hard. I left this morning like I was going to school, but instead of heading there, I went to the train station. I already knew which train and connections I’d need cause I looked it up online last night. Papa, please don’t be mad.”

Her dad actually wasn’t mad, he was just dreading the conversation he’d have to have later with his ex.

“I’m not mad, Honey—come here,” he said in a soft voice and pulled her onto his lap, hugging and kissing her again. “I’m just gonna have to make a very uncomfortable phone call later, but hey…you’re worth it!” he said with a chuckle.

Yoshiki and Toshi were just sitting there quietly taking all this in. They didn’t get to see this side of Sugizo nearly enough and were enjoying watching him be “Papa”.

“Oh, how’s Uncle Heath? Is he any better?” Luna asked, leaning into her dad and playing with his crystal pendant.

The guitarist smiled. “Yeah, he’s definitely better this morning. We were just talking about that when you came in.”

She smiled warmly, looking for the world like her dad. “Oh that’s awesome! Can I go see him too? Please?”

“I don’t see why not,” Sugizo answered her. “We were all just in there, so let’s wait a little while, but I’ll take you to see him,” he said with a nod.

“Where’s Uncle Pata? I thought he’d be here too.”

“He’s at home with a really bad headache, but he’ll be up here later,” Yoshiki answered. “He’ll be glad to see you, too!”

Luna smiled at that.

“Did you have any breakfast? Are you hungry?” Sugizo asked her.

She shrugged. “I had a little something at home, but I’m still hungry. Is there a café here?”

He nodded. “Yep, ground floor. You want to go get something?”

“Only if you’ll come with me.”

He nodded and smiled. “Of course I’m coming along, silly.” He turned to his friends. “You guys want something? Coffee?”

They looked at each other and shook their heads. “No, we’re fine. Just go get the baby girl whatever she wants, ‘Papa’,” Toshi said with a grin.

Sugizo laughed and nodded. “Okay, but text me if you change your mind.”

Together, he and his daughter walked out of the waiting room. Through the glass windows, Yoshiki and Toshi watched Luna slip an arm around her dad’s waist and lean into him.

“She sure does love him,” Yoshiki said with a big smile.

“It’s completely mutual—he’s wrapped around her little finger and it’s so cute!” Toshi chuckled.

Luna and Sugizo had no sooner gotten out of sight down one hallway, than a couple more familiar faces walked into the waiting room from the other direction. Yoshiki saw them approaching and stood up to welcome them with hugs. Toshi did likewise.

“Ryu, J—good to see you both!” Yoshiki said with his trademark wide smile.

“Same here! Sugi group texted us last night to let us know what was going on with Heath, so we had to come see him,” J said and then paused. “Where is our lovely Sugi anyway?” he asked with a grin, looking around the room.

“Yeah, where is pretty boy?” Ryu asked, looking around the room as well.

“Oh now, surely ‘pretty boy’ is referring to Ino,” Yoshiki interjected with a laugh that was contagious.

“Oh okay…Goth boy then,” Ryu corrected himself.

Toshi chuckled. “Well, you actually just missed him. He had a surprise visitor this morning, so Papa took her down to the café to get her some breakfast.”

“Papa? Luna’s here?!” asked Ryu, eyebrows raised.

“Yep. Showed up out of the blue about half an hour ago. Apparently, she took the train here instead of going to school,” Yoshiki informed them.

J winced. “Ooh, Sugi’s ex-old lady isn’t gonna like that…”

“He knows. He’s already dreading that phone call,” Toshi added with a laugh.

“So how’s Heath this morning? Have you guys seen him yet?” asked Ryu.

“Better, actually,” Yoshiki answered and then proceeded to explain everything that Sugizo hadn’t in his texts. 

With concerned looks, J and Ryu shook their heads. They, too, wondered how his condition could have deteriorated so quickly. Equally, neither of them knew anything concerning the whereabouts of this alleged girlfriend.

“I know she exists—we all met her more than once,” Toshi offered. “But there’s been no sign of her since he’s been sick, so I’m guessing she’s out of the picture.”

They all shrugged and agreed.

“Good riddance, I say. He could do better anyway,” was Yoshiki’s sentiment on the matter.

Half an hour later, Ryu and J heard a familiar voice speaking in their direction.

“My god, they’ll let anybody in here, won’t they?” Sugizo said, feigning disgust. “Come on, Luna…we don’t associate with people like _that_.” He couldn’t help but laugh when the two men turned in their seats and gave him nasty looks.

“Uncle J! Uncle Ryu!” Luna exclaimed and threw her arms around their shoulders, placing kisses on cheeks. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Well, it’s been three or four months, anyway,” Ryu told her with an amused grin.

Sugizo laughed. “To a 15-year-old, that _is_ forever!” That one earned him a punch on the arm from said 15-year-old.

“Ouch!” he protested, rubbing the spot and grinning at her. “So have you guys seen Heath yet?” he asked his two old friends.

“No, not yet. Yoshi told us that we didn’t have to wait for visiting hours though,” J answered.

Sugizo shook his head. “Nope. Just let the nurse’s station know you want to come back and they’ll meet you at the door. You ready to go now?”

Ryu and J looked at each other and shrugged. “Sure,” said J and they both got to their feet.

“Wait, one of us should go with you. Might make things easier with the staff,” the guitarist stated and turned to Toshi. “Will you go with them to visit Heath? I’m going to take Luna in after you guys come back.”

Toshi quickly agreed and got to his feet, heading over to the phone by the door. After making the call, all three walked out to go see their friend.

“Papa? After we see Uncle Heath, can we go for a walk? Just you and me?” she looked up at him and he thought that she looked more like a little girl than a teenager just then.

“Of course, Honey. Everything okay?” She didn’t normally make requests like that and it set off alarm bells in the ‘dad’ section of his brain.

“Yeah, I just want to spend some time alone with you to talk. We haven’t done that in a while,” Luna answered.

Sugizo nodded and smiled, leaning down to place a kiss on the top of her head. “You’re right—we haven’t.” He still wondered what was up with her, but figured he’d find out soon enough.

_______________

Toshi, J, and Ryu reentered the waiting room after their visit and Sugizo thought that Ryu, in particular, looked a little shell-shocked.

“Hard to see him like that, isn’t it?” he asked Ryu, taking a seat in front of him and leaning forward. Ryu just nodded. “Believe me, he looks much better now than he did. When I first got to him in his apartment…” he tailed off as the images came flooding back.

The guitarist shook his head and sighed. “I…I didn’t know…” he paused again, not wanting to even completely form the thought. He placed a hand on Ryu’s knee and rubbed gently. “He’s going to be okay. His doctor says that his lung is clearing and after that, they can take him off the vent and let him wake up,” he said softly, trying to reassure both Ryu and J and, truth be told, himself.

Luna had been listening to all of this from her place on the arm of the chair where her dad sat. Once she thought he was finished, she put a hand on his back and asked quietly, “Can I go see him now? Please?”

Sugizo nodded and rose from the chair, taking his daughter by the hand. “Let’s talk a moment first, okay?” She agreed and they stepped over to an empty part of the waiting room.

After taking seats, he looked her in the eyes. “Okay, like I was telling the guys, Heath looks much better now than he did when he first got here, but Baby…he still won’t look like what you’re used to. I just want you to be prepared, okay? He’s not going to sit up and talk to you just yet.”

As Sugizo continued to explain things to Luna, J leaned over to the other three men in their little group. Nodding in the direction of the father-daughter conversation, he admitted, “I love to see them together. I wish Sugi could spend more time with her.”

“He’s always so busy,” Yoshiki remarked. “If he’d slow down some, he’d have more time.”

Even as the words were coming out of his mouth, the blonde knew that his friends, particularly Toshi, weren’t going to let him get away with that. Sure enough, all three began eyeing him with amusement.

“Oh physician…heal thyself!” Toshi said, eyebrows raised. “If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is!”

For their part, Ryu and J were just as amused.

“Okay, okay…but I don’t have children,” Yoshiki protested, trying to raise a defense.

As they were bantering, Sugizo and Luna got up and walked over to the phone and then left the room.

“But no, what I was saying before,” J began, “about them spending more time together. It’s not because Sugi is so busy. It’s because that bitch of an ex-wife of his won’t let him see her any more than she just has to. She’s made things as difficult as possible for him since Luna was tiny. Why do you think the girl hangs on him constantly when they’re together?”

“Because she loves him and misses him?” Toshi offered.

Ryu piped up now. “Well yes, of course, but because she gets so little time with her dad. He’s even thought briefly about suing for custody, but he knows the courts wouldn’t give her to him and he doesn’t want to drag Luna through the mud-slinging that her mother would start.”

“And she’s almost old enough to make that choice on her own now, so there’s no reason to rock the boat,” J added. “But I know that bitch trash talks Sugi to Luna and always has.”

Toshi and Yoshiki were shaking their heads, distressed at hearing how difficult things had been for their friend.

“Oh god, yes. There was a time when Luna was about nine or ten that she got to where she didn’t want to see her dad at all. Wouldn’t talk to him on the phone, didn’t want the little gifts he’s always buying her, nothing. I’ve never seen Sugi so depressed. He didn’t know what had happened, what he’d done wrong, or anything because he couldn’t get Luna to talk to him,” Ryu informed them. “That’s when a lot of the tattoos started appearing. He’d always liked body art, but by that point he felt like nothing was stopping him. He said he enjoyed the pain.”

“What caused Luna to turn on him like that?” Toshi asked, intrigued.

“Well, after about 6 months, she finally called him in tears demanding to know why he’d walked out on them and why he was so terrible to her mother. Asked him why he had to cheat on her mom and have so many different bed partners. And get this: she even asked him if he had any diseases from it yet. The child was like ten at that point—you know she didn’t come up with that on her own.”

Yoshiki and Toshi’s mouths dropped open at that. “You’re kidding me. She asked him that?!” the blonde asked.

“Oh yeah. That woman had been filling that child’s head so full of poison concerning her dad for so long that Luna came to believe it. Sugi wasn’t there to defend himself, so…” J said. “Now look, I know the man’s no angel and he does deserve _some_ of the reputation he’s got, but only some. He’s never been as bad as people think. A lot of that is lies that were spread about him during his divorce.”

“So how did he answer Luna and fix their relationship?” Toshi wanted to know.

“From what I understand, he begged her to come spend the weekend with him so that they could talk, and he could try to explain things. That’s when he found out a lot of what she’d been saying to Luna about him. From what he told me, they talked all weekend and he had to admit certain things to her that he really didn’t want to talk about to a 10-year-old, but he didn’t have a choice at that point. It took months for him to regain her trust, though,” Ryu said with a frown.

“Damn. I never knew any of this,” Yoshiki said, matching Ryu’s frown. “So tell me, what actually happened between him and his ex? Did he just walk out the way Luna accused him of?”

Ryu shook his head. “Not the way the bitch made it sound to Luna, no. He was the one to leave, yes, but only after she broke his hand in six places.”

Toshi nearly choked on his coffee at this point. “She what?!” he asked, eyes wide. The look on Yoshiki’s face was equally incredulous.

“Yep. It was when Luna was barely a year old. They were arguing in the kitchen and he apparently had opened a cabinet to get something and then paused with his hand on the frame and she slammed the heavy door closed. Nearly shattered his hand.”

They all recoiled and winced at Ryu’s explanation.

“Then she told him she’d take a hammer to the other one and disappeared upstairs. That’s when he left. Threw some things in a bag with the hand that still worked, kissed the baby, and walked out. Went to Heath’s.”

“Heath’s? Our Heath?” Yoshiki asked.

“How many Heaths you know?” J quipped with a grin, causing Ryu and Toshi to chuckle. “Are you sure you know those two as well as you think?”

“I’m beginning to wonder,” Yoshiki muttered. “Okay, so what on earth caused this woman to slam her musician husband’s hand in a cabinet door? I gotta know.”

Ryu and J looked at each other for a moment. _‘Could it be that he really doesn’t know?’_

J shrugged at Ryu and then turned back to Yoshiki and Toshi. “She caught him in bed with Hide…and more than once.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long delay in posting more chapters! I really appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my little story and I'm going to try harder to update more quickly! :)

After the nurse had let Sugizo and Luna back into the Unit, the guitarist introduced his daughter to the nurse who had been so kind to him over the last couple of days.

“Oh come now, how can a young man like you have a daughter this mature?” she asked with a smile, complimenting both of them in one shot.

The man grinned and winked at her. “You’re good,” he said with a big smile.

Both of them were given masks to wear and the nurse showed Luna where to disinfect her hands before going in to see Heath. After both of them had washed up, they proceeded to what was essentially a glass-walled cubicle with a glass door.

“Wow, no privacy, huh?” Luna remarked as she walked in.

“Honey, if you’re back here, you don’t need privacy. You need to be watched 24/7,” her dad told her.

As the young girl faced the bed, she stopped several steps back to take in all the machines, tubes, wires, and sounds that Sugizo had gotten used to over the last 3 days. Recognizing her reticence, he moved closer to her and put a hand on her back.

“It’s okay, take your time. Need me to explain anything?”

“Ummm no, I think I know what they all are,” she replied. “Are those readings good?”

Sugizo looked over at the nurse. “She wants to know if the readings are good. Are they?” He knew the numbers looked better than they had previously, but he was no medical professional.

“They’re much improved. His blood pressure is still a little low, but his heart is strong. Once his lung clears and the ventilator can be removed, we’ll know more about where he’s at,” the nurse informed them.

“But his temperature has stayed down, right?” Sugizo asked, very concerned about that problem returning.

“Yes, it’s been staying down where it should be.”

The auburn-haired man nodded and gave the nurse a small smile before turning back to his daughter. “That satisfy you?” he asked her.

Luna merely nodded. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward to where she could see Heath’s face more clearly. Studying him closely, she jumped slightly when the ventilator sounded and she saw his chest rise, fall, and then nothing until it happened again.

“I don’t like that thing,” she whispered to her dad with a frown.

“Me either,” he whispered back. “But it’s necessary right now.”

“Can I touch him?” she asked quietly.

Her dad gave her an encouraging nod. “The doctor says it’s good for him to be talked to and touched. Go ahead, Baby. You won’t hurt him.”

She still hesitated, so Sugizo asked, “Want me to go first?”

She nodded, again looking more like he remembered her at 8-years-old than her current age.

“Okay,” he whispered and stepped up close to Heath’s bedside. “Hey handsome, I’m back again,” he said as he leaned over his sick friend. He then stroked Heath’s cheek with the back of his hand. “I’ve brought someone with me this time who wants to see you! She even cut school to come visit with you,” he said with a laugh.

Luna now felt a lot more comfortable having watched how her dad interacted with his comatose friend. She stepped up and cupped Heath’s cheek with a hand.

“Hey Uncle Heath, it’s Luna. I’ve missed you so much! I just had to come and see you!”

She was doing better, but still jumped slightly at the sound of the ventilator. She touched and then ran a finger over the tape covering his lips.

“You’ll be awake soon and able to breathe on your own, so they can get rid of this.” She moved a hand up and stroked his hair back. “Promise me you’ll try hard to get well. Love you, Uncle Heath.”

She stepped back and looked up at her dad for approval. He nodded and patted her back. Moving back to Heath’s side, Sugizo laid a hand on his friend’s head.

“We’re going to go for now but I’ll be back really soon. Love you, man.” With that, he placed a kiss on Heath’s forehead and they turned to leave. The nurse patted Luna’s back as they all walked out of the room.

“You did well, Sweetie. Try not to worry now, okay?” She gave them both a warm smile as they headed for the exit.

“Thank you again,” Sugizo said and flashed her a smile.

They started heading toward the waiting room again when Luna stopped short. “Papa, can we go for that walk now?”

Her dad looked down at her and thought momentarily. “Sure. Some fresh air would do us both good.”

He smiled at her and grasped her hand in his. “Where should we go?”

Luna shrugged. “Wherever you want to. Is there a park close by?”

Sugizo grinned and shrugged just like she had. “Let’s go find out.”

Along the way to the elevator and then out of the building, he sent a text to Toshi and Yoshiki letting them know where he was going and asking them to keep an eye on his laptop bag that he’d left in the waiting room. He had no idea of the conversation about him that was going on at that precise moment which was probably a good thing.

Stopping by the Information Desk on the ground floor, they were told that there was a nice garden on the grounds of the hospital that they were welcome to use. Making a pit stop at the café to get coffee for dad and, surprisingly to Sugizo, coffee for Luna as well, they went for a nice walk in the walled garden.

Along the way, Luna attached herself to his hip again, arm around his narrow waist, head laid against him. Her dad just looked down at her and smiled warmly.

_‘God, I love this. I miss her so much when she’s not with me,’_ he thought to himself and pulled her in tighter. “We’ve got to plan another trip together soon. When are you out of school next?” he asked.

“Hmmm, I have Spring holidays coming up next and then not much until Summer. When were you thinking?”

“I’ll get you for a few days during your Spring holiday and then a couple weeks at the beginning of Summer. We’ll figure something out,” he answered.

“How about somewhere exotic for the Summer?” she grinned. “How about Europe?!”

“All of it?” he replied kiddingly.

“Just the best parts,” she shot right back. “My English is pretty good, so we won’t have any trouble in the touristy places. You probably still need to work on yours though, am I right?” she grinned.

“You always are,” he laughed. _‘Such a smartass. She is sooo my kid.’_

“Only thing is, I might have a short tour happening this Summer—not sure yet when it’ll be,” he told her and watched her face fall.

“Oh…okay,” she said, not looking at him.

_‘No. I’m not putting her second and I’m not allowing this to interfere. She’s growing up so fast, I can’t do that to her,’_ he thought.

“Baby, if it comes down to it, you’ll just go on tour with me. How about that?” he asserted. “I’ll make it work.”

She turned her face up to him with such a beautiful smile that he knew he was right to make that decision. “Really?! I can do that?” she asked.

“If I say you’re coming along then you’re coming along. End of story,” he said with an unmistakable air of authority.

She jumped and hugged him tightly. “I love you so much, Papa!”

“I love you too, Sweetheart,” Sugizo told her in a soft voice and placed a kiss on her cheek.

They were approaching a bench in a pretty little alcove, so Luna suggested they sit for a bit. Once there, she took a deep breath and turned to face him.

_‘Here it comes. Whatever IT is,’_ he thought, feeling a little apprehensive. Teenagers could be unpredictable, and he hadn’t had much practice yet. He tried to look as open and approachable as possible to make it easier on her.

“Papa…” she started and then paused. She looked away for a few seconds and then turned back to him. “Papa, I’m having a bad time at home. Mom is just…grrrrrr…she’s impossible! I know she’s going to beat my ass for cutting school today, but I don’t even care. I’m getting to spend the day with you and that makes it worth it. Honestly, I wish I’d thought about doing this sooner.”

“Awww, Baby…what is she doing that’s so terrible?” he asked, knowing that he could probably rattle off a laundry list himself by just guessing, but he decided to let her tell him instead.

“She won’t give me any privacy—goes through my phone, my computer, even my purse and backpack! No idea what she’s looking for! It’s like she’s always looking over my shoulder, too. She doesn’t trust me at all and it’s not like I’ve given her a reason not to. I’m a pretty good kid…at least I think so,” she explained to her dad, finding it hard to put her frustration into words.

“Luna, I think she’s just trying to be a vigilant, concerned parent. Teenagers can be hard to trust sometimes, you know that. I’m sure some of the kids you know from school have gotten into trouble—bet they lie to their parents and hide stuff from them. She’s just trying to keep an eye on things and stop trouble before it starts. At least, that’s what it sounds like to me.” Sugizo was trying to give his ex the benefit of the doubt.

“And that’s not all,” she paused again, tears welling up in her big, brown eyes. “She still talks shit about you, Papa. No matter how many times I’ve told her that I don’t want to hear it, she says I need to know the truth. But it’s _not_ the truth—it’s just crap from her diseased imagination. We get into fights about it all the time. I’m tired of it!”

He frowned at her, the pitch of his voice lowering. “What’s she been saying?”

“Calls you a slut and an attention whore, says you’re probably still on drugs and that you drink all the time, says you need to be paying her more child support. She even says that you abused her and she wishes that she’d had you arrested when she could have,” Luna reported. She didn’t want to upset her dad, but she thought he needed to know what was being said. She also wanted him to know why she wasn’t comfortable at home any longer.

“None of that is true, Luna—I swear to you,” he said, his jaw clenched.

“I know, don’t worry. I mean, are you even dating anyone?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m not. Haven’t in a while now.”

“See? That’s what I told her. And you’re not a slut or anything like a slut. God, she pisses me off!”

“No, I’m not and I’m glad you know that. She shouldn’t be telling you things like that, but I know she’s always done it and probably always will. I don’t know how to make her stop,” he said, sounding rather defeated.

“I don’t believe her—not anymore. I’m sorry I ever did.”

“Honey, it’s not your fault.” He sighed, remembering the rift that the woman had caused between him and Luna at one time. “Children should be able to believe what they’re being told by their parents.” 

“Papa…” she stopped momentarily as tears began to roll down her cheeks. “Can I _please_ come live with you? I won’t be any trouble, I promise. Please?!”

Sugizo pulled her in close, resting his chin on top of her head and rocking her slightly. “Oh, Baby…”

He really wasn’t sure what else to say at the moment. This wasn’t the first time she’d asked him this, but it had been a while. She was older now and he knew he needed to really listen to her. Luna wasn’t just a young child mad at her mom for something petty. He felt like her grievances were somewhat justified.

_‘What can I do though? What kind of life would she have with me? Could I even be a full-time father? I’m so busy all the time, but isn’t my only child more important?’_

He decided the answer to that last question was a resounding ‘yes’. He continued to hold and reassure her that he was there for her.

“Baby, I’m definitely willing to talk to you about the possibility, but you know it won’t be easy. Your mom will throw a major fit—it could get really ugly. Are you prepared for that fight?” he asked her seriously.

_‘Hell, am I ready for that fight?!’_

She sniffled and wiped away a few tears. “Yes, I am. I’m done with her, Papa. But…I don’t want to make a lot of trouble for you either. I know how busy you are and everything.”

“Honey, you’re more important. I don’t have to be so busy and you’re getting to be quite the young lady now. Tell you what, let me do a lot of thinking about this and I’ll see what could be worked out, okay? Now for your part, you have to be good and try to keep the peace at home for the time being, alright?”

She pulled away a bit so that she could look up into his face. “Are…are you serious? Really?!” she smiled and hugged him so tight he thought she’d bruise his ribs. “I’ll be good, I promise!”

He chuckled and tried to loosen her grip to a comfortable level. “Yes, I’m serious. We’ll talk more about it this weekend when you come to stay with me, okay?”

“Like she’ll even let me come when she finds out that I cut school today…” Luna mumbled.

“Oh, she has no choice about that. This weekend is part of my allowed visitation and she can’t deny me that as some sort of punishment for you. Not unless she wants to talk to my lawyer…”

She laughed and kissed him on the cheek. “You go, Papa!”

Sugizo laughed and looked at his watch. “Come on, Pumpkin--let’s get some lunch.”


	7. Chapter 7

Yoshiki looked at J as if he’d just punched him square in the chest. The shock on his face was unmistakable.

_‘Oh god, he didn’t know…oh shit,’_ J thought, looking back and forth from Yoshiki to Toshi.

“Yoshi…I’m sorry. I thought surely you knew. I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that.”

J and Ryu, as well as everyone else in their expansive circle of friends, knew you had to be careful when mentioning Hide in the vicinity of Yoshiki. Even though many years had passed since their friend had left them, nearly all of them were still pretty sensitive about the subject, Yoshiki especially.

Toshi, looking a bit confused, stared intently at his fiancé. “Yoshi, you knew about them. You knew Hide and Sugizo had a thing going.”

“Yeah, but…I didn’t know _that,”_ the blonde stated, the shock starting to leave his face. “Were they pretty serious?”

J looked afraid to speak, so Ryu chimed in. “I don’t really know how serious they were—you’d have to ask Sugi that. They were together quite a bit there for a while, though. I remember asking Hide one time about whether you knew or not and he said you did.”

“Honestly, Yoshi…and I might be wrong about this, but…I think Sugi was more serious about Hide than Hide was about him,” J said.

“Hide would never use someone like that! Especially not someone with a family!” the blonde said firmly and stood up. He walked straight across the room and out the door.

“Fuck…” J said in a low voice, head lowered. “Toshi, I’m sorry.” He sat there shaking his head for a moment. “Me and my big ass mouth.”

Toshi reached out and put a hand on J’s leg. “It’s okay. You know him—he gets this way about anything concerning Hide.” The man stopped and sighed. “He’ll laugh about some of the crazy things that they used to do and admit that we all drank too much, but to hear him talk, you’d think Hide was a saint.” He stopped and gave them both a look. “And you _know_ that’s not true.”

Ryu and J shook their heads and chuckled. They understood exactly what Toshi was saying. The three of them sat talking and laughing about some of their memories of their absent friend, agreeing that they all missed him terribly. Eventually, Yoshiki came back into the room and Toshi excused himself to go have a word with him privately.

“Yoshi, can we talk for just a minute? Out here?” he asked, gesturing toward the picture window across the hall.

The blonde shrugged, turned around, and made his way across the hallway. He leaned against the wall, waiting to find out what Toshi wanted to talk to him about.

“You okay? You kinda stormed out there—made J and Ryu feel terrible for saying anything.”

“I’m okay. I just wasn’t expecting to hear that Hide helped break up a marriage, that’s all,” Yoshiki stated rather coldly.

“Yoshi, I don’t think…” Toshi started before being interrupted.

“And the insinuation that Hide strung Sugizo along knowing that Sugizo was way more serious about the relationship than he was is bullshit,” the blonde said matter of factly.

“Well, I guess you’ll have to ask Sugi about that then, won’t you? And I don’t think Hide broke up anything. From what I’ve gathered over the years, that marriage was doomed long before Hide and Sugi climbed into bed together.” He paused, not sure if he was getting through or not.

“What you’re more upset about, I think, is the fact that it’s fairly common knowledge that Hide frequented someone else’s bed besides yours.” Toshi stated, looking his fiancé straight in the face with a ‘change my mind’ look.

Yoshiki looked back at him for several moments, not sure what to say. “Look, I adored Hide, everyone knows that,” he began once he’d gathered his thoughts. “And I was willing to share him because I really didn’t have a choice. Monogamy wasn’t something he bought into--you know how he was. And yes, I knew about his and Sugi’s trysts, but I didn’t know how often they were occurring. Looks like he cared more for him than I thought.” He stopped there for a minute and stared out the window. Toshi nodded and put a hand on his back in support—he knew how difficult this was for the man to talk about.

“But despite that, he was a good man with a good heart. He genuinely cared about people. That’s why I know that he wouldn’t intentionally do something to wreck a family. There has to be something we don’t know.” Yoshiki wiped a tear from his cheek. “I guess I need to have a sit-down with Sugizo, huh?”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Toshi answered. “And please, apologize to the guys too. They didn’t mean any harm and now they’re worried that they’ve really upset you.”

“I will. Let’s go,” the blonde said, pushing away from the wall and heading back to the waiting room.

Right at the doorway, they met up with Pata who was just coming in.

“Hey, how’s our boy?” he asked. “Any better?”

“Yeah, actually—he’s definitely looking better today,” Toshi responded. “Wanna go see him? I’ll go with ya,” he offered.

Yoshiki just looked at the two of them and proceeded on into the waiting room toward Ryu and J.

“What’s with him? Run out of avocados for his toast?” Pata asked dryly.

Toshi chuckled and gave him that ‘don’t be naughty’ look. “Come on, I’ll explain.”

J and Ryu stood up when they noticed Yoshiki coming toward them. “Yoshi, I…” J started and the blonde raised his hand for him to stop.

“Guys…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so defensive earlier,” he said contritely. “Forgive me?”

They both smiled and hugged him at the same time.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blurted that out like that about Hide. I really shouldn’t have,” J admitted.

Yoshiki shook his head. “I just need to have a talk with Sugi, that’s all. I’m not mad, I just need to clear up a few things. Where is he, anyway?” he asked, looking around the room.

Ryu shrugged. “He and Luna haven’t come back yet. Guess they got lunch while they were out. Speaking of, we need to get going. I’ll text him on our way out.”

Sugizo and Luna walked back into the waiting room, finishing their drinks from lunch. As soon as they walked in, the girl noticed someone new.

“Uncle Pata! There you are!”

The older man looked up and a smile immediately crossed his face. “Luna! Hey there—I heard you were here! Gimme a hug!”

She flung herself into his outstretched arms and squeezed him tightly. Sugizo stood and smiled, amazed at the effect Luna had on the normally stoic Pata.

“How’s your headache?” she asked, reaching up to gently pat his head.

“Finally better,” he smiled.

About that time, Luna’s cell phone rang and she pulled it out of her back pocket and looked at the display. Turning it toward her dad, he could read “Mom”.

“Better answer it,” he said.

“I know…” Luna said quietly, rolling her eyes.

“Hello? Mom? -- Yes, I’m fine. – Oh? Yeah, I’m sorry about that. – Well, I…I… -- I had to come see Uncle Heath. – Mom, he’s in Intensive Care, he’s really sick! – I call him Uncle because he’s like an uncle to me. – I know that. – No, he didn’t have anything to do with it. I came up here all on my own. – Mom, I’m telling you the truth. Papa didn’t ask me to come, didn’t tell me to come, it was a complete surprise to him. – I know you’re disappointed, you always are. – I said I was sorry, but I had to come see him. – Yes, he’s here. – No. – No, I’m not going to have you yelling at him because of something I did. – Mom…no, Mom. I’m sure Papa can bring me home later. – There’s no need for you to come up here.”

She sighed heavily, tears starting to stain her cheeks.

“That’s not true! – No, it’s not! Quit lying! – He does not!” she looked at her dad with such a sad, overwhelmed look that it got his protective instinct riled up. He set his jaw, stood up, and took the phone from his daughter’s hand.

“Reina -- Yeah, it’s me. – Whoa, slow down a minute. – No, you let _me_ talk for a minute. What the hell have you been telling Luna? – Uh huh. – Oh, give me a break. That’s a lie and you know it. Why do you insist on trying to turn her against me? – You’re pathetic, you know that?”

Since he knew he was getting louder and louder, Sugizo turned and walked out into the hallway, a hard look on his face like he could chew nails.

Luna looked apprehensive and a bit unsure of what she was supposed to do as she gazed wide-eyed around at the assorted faces looking in her direction.

“Come here, Baby—it’s okay,” her Uncle Pata said, taking her by the hand and pulling her into his lap. “Your Papa will take care of things.”

She leaned back into him and laid her head on his shoulder, not saying a word. With his arms wrapped around her, Pata placed a kiss on her head. “Shhh, it’s okay.”

Toshi and Yoshiki exchanged looks and small smiles. Very few people could get that kind of reaction out of their friend.

Out in the hallway, they could see Sugizo still arguing on the phone with Luna’s mother. He was normally so calm and collected, but there he was, hand in the air, a scowl on his face. They could only imagine what was actually being said.

“What do you have to say to get someone like Sugi _that_ enraged?” Yoshiki asked Toshi.

Toshi shrugged and shook his head. He really wanted to know what was being said, but knew it’d be bad manners to try and listen in.

Several minutes later, a red-faced Sugizo walked back into the waiting room doorway and motioned for either Toshi or Yoshiki to come over—he got both.

“What’s up?” Toshi asked him, putting a hand on his arm in support.

“Can you guys watch after Luna for me for a little while? I’ve got to get in touch with my lawyer and work something out,” he replied, looking like his nerves were on edge.

“Absolutely—you know we will,” Toshi replied, nodding.

“I mean, don’t let anyone come and take her—not her mother or anyone else. That bitch is on the warpath and I don’t think the child is safe with her right now,” the guitarist responded. “She said she’d fix it so I never saw her again—so I couldn’t find her--and that is _not_ happening!”

“Sugi…anything you need, you know we’re here for you,” the blonde said, all thoughts of the conversation with Ryu and J pushed aside. “We love Luna like she’s ours and I promise nothing will happen to her,” Yoshiki stated. “And if there’s anything I can personally do to expedite things, all you have to do is say the word.”

Sugizo hugged him, thanked him, and took off down the hallway, dialing his phone. Yoshiki and Toshi watched him go and then turned back to Pata and Luna with a smile.

“He’s working on something. He’ll be right back,” Toshi said with a smile. He gave a look to Pata.

Yoshiki started going through his contacts in his phone, looking to see if he had anyone listed that could help with family law. The man was rather quiet and modest about himself unless he had some reason to be otherwise, but fame and wealth had its advantages, one of them being influence, and he intended to do whatever he could to help his good friend. He glanced over at Luna who was still snuggled up to good old Pata.

_‘It’s sweet how much she looks like Sugi. I wonder what it’s like to have a child like her…’_ he thought to himself. _‘What would I do to keep her safe if she were mine?’_ He thought a little further on that and then immediately went back to searching through his contacts.

Pata and Luna stood up and the older man took her hand. “We’re going in to see Heath again, okay?”

With that, they turned and left the waiting room as the other two watched.

“He’s good with her. It’s kinda weird, but there it is. So, what do you think Sugi is up to?” Toshi asked his fiancé.

“Just a guess, but I’m thinking maybe he’s trying to get custody. If she’s mad enough to try to get an injunction to keep him from seeing Luna, he’s got to act.”

“But what grounds could she have? As far as I know, the only thing Sugi is guilty of is working too much. Does that bitch really think he still acts like he did in his 20s?” Toshi asked.

“Who knows? Sounds like she’s pretty delusional so maybe she thinks ‘once a hard partying, drunk rock star _always_ a hard partying, drunk rock star’,” the blonde responded with a chuckle. “Can you just imagine us still acting like that?”

“They’d be telling us to take our old asses home and chill,” Toshi answered with a grin.

Yoshiki nodded in agreement. “But I think what’s got Sugi’s hackles up is the idea that she might disappear with the girl and I think that’s probably one of a father’s worst nightmares—not knowing where their child is and if they’re safe or not.”

“Think a judge would give her to him like that?”

Toshi’s fiancé shrugged. “That’s what I’m going to try to find out. Be right back.”

He walked out into the hallway, phone to his ear, waiting for someone to answer. Toshi followed along, hoping to hear what was happening this time.

A little later, Sugizo came hurrying back in and stopped short when he didn’t see his daughter. He looked the waiting room over and then went back out into the hallway. He finally found Toshi standing by the window a little ways away, so he rushed over and grabbed him by the arm.

“Where’s Luna?!” he asked, looking almost panicked.

“Easy, easy. She’s fine. She’s in visiting Heath with Pata.”

The auburn-haired man visibly relaxed. “Oh, thank the heavens. Where’s Yoshi?”

“Off down the hallway on his phone. I’m keeping watch.” He was in big brother mode again and was very serious about protecting the youngest in their company. “So what did you find out? Anything we can do?” Toshi asked.

“Well, my lawyer thinks he can help me with the initial actions, but he’s not very comfortable with family law, so I’m going to have to find another lawyer soon. For now though, I’m waiting to find out what I’m allowed to do as a non-custodial parent.”

“What are you hoping to do, Sugi? You know Yoshi and I will help in any way we can.”

The younger man gave him a small bow in thanks for his support. “Honestly? I think it’s time I took custody and it’s what Luna wants. She was telling me this out in the garden a couple hours ago.”

He paused for a moment and then continued. “According to my lawyer, she’s old enough to have a say in who she lives with. The problem, as always, will be my ‘occupation’ and the fact that I’m not always home to look after her. But Tosh…I’ll do whatever I have to…she’s my baby. I can’t let that hag take her from me.”

“But if she’s threatening to deny you visitation or worse, run with the child, surely the court will be on your side.”

Sugizo sighed. “The problem is proving that she actually made those threats. It’s not like she’s going to admit it. I just have to make sure that it looks like I can provide a stable home life for Luna.”

Toshi nodded and rubbed Sugizo’s arm. “I know. Things can be worked out to make sure she’s taken care of, don’t you worry.”

“Can I admit something to you?” the guitarist asked, casting his eyes downward, obviously stressed. “I’ve never had to be a full-time father. I’ve always been the ‘fun one’ who took Luna on trips and bought her stuff and let her stay up too late. I’m not sure I know how to be a ‘real’ parent…”

Toshi pulled his friend into a hug. “Okay now, you stop that. You are an amazing father—everyone thinks so. Luna is so lucky to have you and well, if there’s a learning curve to being there all the time with her, then there just is. You’re not afraid of a challenge, are you? I thought you ate challenges for breakfast.”

Sugizo chuckled a bit. “I hope I’m up to this one.”

Yoshiki walked up soon afterwards wearing his business face. “Sugi, what did you find out?” He quickly filled the blonde in like he had Toshi.

“So now I have to wait for him to call back,” he said, looking stressed.

“Alright. I’m waiting on a call back from a good family lawyer that one of my corporate guys has worked with. He can advise you further,” Yoshiki said.

Sugizo’s eyes opened a little wider. “Wow—thank you. I had no idea who to call about this.”

A chuckle came from Toshi. “Blondie here knows everybody, you know that.”

“Hey, connections help! Musicians I can get for ya—lawyers not so much,” the guitarist said, feeling just a tiny bit better about things already.

Just then his phone began to ring. “My lawyer—be right back,” he said as he excused himself.

They watched as he walked a few feet away to sit on one of the padded benches along the hallway. Taking his notebook from his bag, he began making notes at a furious pace.

“I have a feeling this is going to get ugly—he’s going to need our help and support,” big brother Toshi stated, looking concerned.

“And he’s got it. We’re a family,” Yoshiki told his longtime friend-turned-fiancé, slipping an arm around the man’s waist.

Pata and Luna emerged from the ICU and started to head back to the waiting room when Luna spotted her dad on a bench nearby, talking on his cell phone. Instinctively, she started toward him but pulled up short when she heard words like “police”, followed by “custody”, and “court”. She turned and looked at Pata, who motioned for her to come with him over to where Toshi and Yoshiki were standing.

“Let’s let your Papa handle his business, okay?” Pata said gently and Luna responded with a nod.

“So how’s Heath doing?” Toshi asked Luna, trying to divert her attention from her dad.

“Hmmm? Oh, sorry. He’s doing good. The nurse says he’s continuing to improve,” she said.

“Yeah, we actually got to talk to Heath’s doctor while we were in there, didn’t we?” Pata said, putting a hand on Luna’s shoulder. She nodded in agreement. “He says if our boy continues to improve at this rate, he could start letting him wake up tomorrow morning.”

“Really?! That’s fabulous!” Yoshiki said, looking up from his phone where he was still looking for contacts for Sugizo.

“Amazing! Sugi will be glad to hear that when he’s done over there,” Toshi said.

“Uncle Toshi…is Papa okay? He looks kinda…mad.” She looked back and forth between them. “I’m in a lotta trouble, aren’t I?”

“Huh? No! You’re not in trouble with your Papa. He’s just talking to someone about how he should handle everything.” Toshi paused, trying to decide what he should and shouldn’t say.

“He told me that you want to come live with him. He’s trying to find a way to make that happen, that’s all.”

“But…I heard him say something about the police and court and stuff…”

“Well, Honey, your mom currently has custody of you, so in order for you to stay with your dad, he has to try to change that. I’m sure you know how some of that works.”

She nodded. “I know, I just don’t want to cause so much trouble for Papa.”

Toshi glanced over at Pata and Yoshiki, shooting them an ‘isn’t that sweet?’ look.

Sugizo pressed ‘End’ on his phone’s screen and dropped his hands down between his knees, letting his head fall forward as well. He felt like he’d been talking non-stop for hours. After a minute or so, he looked up to find his three friends and his daughter looking over at him expectantly, so he decided he should put them out of their misery.

“Okay, I think I know what we need to do now,” he said, walking up to them. “Firstly, I’ve got to get Luna out of here before her mom shows up. We have to go to the nearest police precinct and file a report stating why I’m assuming temporary custody—that will trigger an emergency hearing.” He looked at Yoshiki and motioned for him to step away with him for a moment.

“Yoshi, I hate to ask this, but…my lawyer said that it would help my case a lot if I had someone accompany us to the police precinct to act as a character witness for me. You have a lot of pull…would you mind?” Sugizo asked.

“Of course I will—I told you I’d do anything I could to help,” the blonde reassured him.

“Okay, thank you so much! After we go to talk to the police, I need to find us a hotel for a few days. The bitch knows where I live and the lawyer said avoiding confrontation, especially in front of Luna, would be best for everyone.”

“Come stay at our house,” Yoshiki offered immediately.

“What? No…we can’t intrude on you and Toshi like that,” the guitarist said, shaking his head.

“Oh please—we have plenty of room. Won’t be any bother at all.” He paused. “And she doesn’t know where I live, not to mention the private security I can call in.”

“Yoshi, I appreciate the offer, but…” Sugizo said, not wanting to be any more trouble than he could help.

“Sugi—it’s the safest place for Luna. Isn’t that what’s most important?” Yoshiki asked.

The man had to agree that her safety and well-being was paramount. “Hmm…guess you’re right. Okay, but only for a few days. Thank you, brother—I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this,” Sugizo told his friend. He then turned to look at Luna. “Now I’ve gotta get her outta here. Will you come with us?”

“Definitely. I’ll leave the car with Toshi and he can come home whenever he decides to. I’ll go and tell them what’s happening and we can get outta here.”

Sugizo got Luna’s attention and called her over while Yoshiki filled Toshi and Pata in on what was going to happen. The two older men agreed that they should stay a bit longer at the hospital to keep an eye on Heath while Yoshiki went to help Sugizo out.

With that, Luna, her dad, and Yoshiki left the hospital to go and make their police report while Pata and Toshi stayed at the hospital.


	8. Chapter 8

“So help me God…if that sea hag calls my fuckin’ phone one more time…” he said while blocking yet another number his ex-wife was calling him from. He had also started blocking numbers on Luna’s phone that he had confiscated earlier for her own good.

“Drink?” Yoshiki asked Sugizo as the younger man walked into the living room. “You sure look like you could use one.”

Sitting down heavily on the sofa, Sugizo nodded his head. “Something strong, please.”

“Mmm, of course,” the blonde said, taking out another finely-etched drinks glass and pouring something amber-colored from a decanter.

“Did you guys find everything okay upstairs?” Toshi asked, draining the rest of what was in his glass and holding it out for Yoshiki to pour him another.

Sugizo thought that the blonde had a definite ‘I’m not your servant, get it yourself’ look on his face, but as he dutifully walked over and poured the drink without saying anything, he just kept quiet about it.

“Umm, yeah we did. Luna’s in the shower now. Hopefully she can get some sleep tonight. She was all wound up earlier.”

“She really was,” Yoshiki stated. “I tried my best to distract her by talking about everything I could think of, but she didn’t really relax until you came through the door.”

After they had left the police precinct, Sugizo drove Luna and Yoshiki to the latter’s home and then went back to his apartment to grab clothes and things for them. Luna had, of course, wanted to know why she couldn’t go with her dad to do something simple like pack a few clothes and grab toothbrushes, but she had to be told the harsh reality. They were afraid that someone might be watching Sugizo’s apartment and if they spotted Luna with him, an ugly confrontation could happen and they didn’t want her involved in that.

“I took enough weird turns and back streets—I hope no one followed me here. I didn’t see anyone,” the guitarist informed them, taking a long, slow drink of scotch.

Now that it was just the men, he could speak more freely than when Luna was in the room and attached to his hip. All the while Yoshiki was taking Luna around the house, showing her and her dad where to find things, picking out bedrooms for them, and even through dinner, the young girl never left Sugizo’s side. This was the first chance they’d had to talk since before leaving the hospital.

“I don’t think they could get through the gate and past all of the alarms anyway, but I’m talking to my security guy in the morning to see what else he suggests,” the blonde told him.

“So what are you going to do about school for her?” Toshi asked. He hadn’t been back with them all that long, having stayed at the hospital with Pata and Heath until just before dinner.

“I have to call her school in the morning and let her counselor know what’s happening. I don’t want to have to pull her out of that school and away from all her friends—I want as little disruption for her as possible—but if they can’t guarantee that she won’t get snatched from there, I’ll have to make other plans.”

“Listen, if we have to hire private security for her, we will. It’s not unheard of, you know. Several high-profile people I know here and in L.A. have security for their kids. It’s not cheap, but at least they know the young ones are safe,” the blonde stated.

Sugizo nodded. “It seems a bit pretentious, but if she can stay at her school and with her friends and still be safe, I’d be all for it.”

They talked more about all sorts of things including how well Heath was doing and how they were all so anxious for him to wake up and be able to talk to them. Sugizo eventually got up to go make sure Luna had gotten into bed after her shower, telling them that he’d be back and not to drink all the scotch while he was gone.

Knocking softly on the door to the bedroom that Luna had chosen, the auburn-haired man opened the door slowly, seeing that the light was off but the television was still on.

He crept slowly towards the bed to see if his young daughter was asleep. “Hey Papa,” came a voice, letting him know that she wasn’t.

“Hey Baby, you okay?” he asked sweetly, taking a seat on the bed next to her and rubbing her hair.

“Uh huh, just laying here trying to go to sleep. It feels weird not to be in my room.”

“I bet so. It’s a nice room though—Yoshi and Toshi have a nice house,” he remarked.

“Oh yeah, it’s nice—it’s just not my bed in my room,” she said, yawning a bit.

“Hopefully we can go back to my place in a few days. You’re more used to your room there.” He paused. “Honey, everything’s going to be okay—you believe me, don’t you?” he asked, still stroking her dark hair.

“Of course, Papa. You know I trust you. As long as we’re together, everything will be just fine,” she told him in that gentle, trusting voice that only a child has.

The man felt a bit of a lump in his throat with that, knowing that his daughter had more confidence in him than he had in himself at this moment. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek.

“I’d do anything for you. We’ll get everything worked out as quick as we can, okay?”

“Okay.” She reached up and patted his head. “You need to get some sleep too. Don’t stay up all night with your friends,” she said with a big grin.

He chuckled and promised that he wouldn’t, gave her another kiss, and left quietly, pulling the door closed behind him.

_‘She’s gonna end up mothering me, I just know it,’_ he thought and a big smile crossed his face. _‘Oh well, there are worse things.’_

_______________

The next morning dawned gray and stormy, keeping everyone in bed later than they should’ve been. All the scotch from the night before wasn’t helping the boys get moving either.

When Sugizo finally summoned the will to pull himself out of bed and into the shower, he remembered the important calls he needed to make that day.

_‘And now it starts…’_ he thought to himself, letting the hot water soak him completely. _‘I hope I’m doing the right thing for her.’_

Down in the kitchen, the subject of Sugizo’s thoughts was already up, dressed, and having a nice conversation with Uncle Yoshi’s housekeeper who had been told to expect two guests in the house.

By the time her dad got downstairs, Luna was digging into a delicious-looking breakfast that the older lady had made for her. She looked up when he came into the kitchen, still yawning.

“Papa, there you are,” Luna said, slipping off the chair and enveloping him in a hug. “You were still asleep when I went by your room earlier.”

“Long day yesterday,” he said, sounding like he needed about eight more hours of sleep.

“This is Tanaka-San, Uncle Yoshi and Uncle Toshi’s housekeeper. This is my Papa, Sugizo,” she said by way of introductions and then went back to her breakfast.

The guitarist bowed to the lady and smiled. “Nice to meet you. Hope we’re not any trouble for you.”

She returned the polite bow and said, “Oh no, not at all. I was really happy to meet little Luna this morning. There never have been any children in this house and it’s about time!”

“Speaking of Yoshi and Toshi, are they around?” he asked.

“Haven’t seen them yet this morning, no. I’m assuming they’re still upstairs,” the woman stated. “Can I get you something for breakfast? You look hungry.”

“Do I?” he responded with a chuckle. “Well, I guess I could use something to eat. Thank you.”

“He always looks like that,” Luna said with a mischievous grin and a laugh. “Needs to gain about twenty pounds at least.”

Her dad put his coffee cup down and looked over at her. “Hey now, I’m just slender—I’ve always looked like this.”

“Papa, I love you, but you’re skinny. You need to gain some weight. So does Uncle Heath,” Luna replied, still grinning. “Speaking of, I wonder how he’s doing this morning. The doctor said he might wake up today.”

“Mmm, I need to get up there after I make a couple of phone calls,” he said and then thought about the situation. “Well, maybe not. I really don’t want to take you up there right now.”

“I can’t go see Uncle Heath?” she asked sadly.

“Honey, your mom and anyone she might have hired by now will be looking for you up there. It’s not safe for you at the moment.”

Luna nodded. She hated not being able to see her friend, but she did understand what her dad was saying. “Are you going?”

“Well, I guess Yoshi, Toshi and I can switch off. Maybe Pata can come over as well. Someone has to stay with you,” Sugizo told her.

_______________

After he had called Luna’s school and explained what was going on to the counselor, given them his cell number, as well as the name and number of an officer at the precinct who could verify his story, he called the lawyer that Yoshiki had given him contact details for. That was another long, drawn out phone call. When that was finally over, he went to find the others in the house. He finally located Toshi in the kitchen.

“Morning! How’re you feeling today?” he asked, referring to the amount of booze that they had put away the night before.

“Oh, not too bad, you know. Head hurts a little. You?” the vocalist answered in between sips of coffee.

“I’m alright. This custody stuff is a bigger headache than scotch ever was. I’m getting some things accomplished though. By the way, where’s Yoshi?”

“Working already. He’s in his office.”

“Ah, okay. I wanted to thank him again for putting me in touch with that lawyer. I just got off the phone with him and he seems really good—very thorough,” Sugizo stated.

“Oh, good—I was hoping he’d work out for ya.”

They discussed the situation with the hospital and Luna, the outcome of which was Toshi electing to stay home for a while to watch after her while Sugizo went to visit Heath and then they’d switch. Soon after, the guitarist was on his way up to the hospital, hoping that today would be a good one for his close friend.

After making his now-usual journey to the hospital, up to the waiting room, and over to the phone, the auburn-haired man got a little different response than he’d been getting.

“Good morning, Sugizo-San,” the nurse began. “Morie-San is in a little distress at the moment. Let me see if I can get one of the doctors to come talk to you,” she said, causing him to feel a giant knot form in his stomach. “Hold for me just a minute.”

“What’s wrong? He was doing fine last night!”

No response. She had obviously put him on hold. He rubbed and then gripped the back of his neck, trying to contain his anxiety. Finally, he heard sound on the other end of the line again.

“I’m sending his doctor out to talk to you,” she said, trying to be kind but letting him know that she couldn’t tell him anything else.

Sugizo hung up the phone, feeling like he couldn’t breathe for a few moments. He stepped out into the hallway, waiting to see the doctor who was supposedly on his way out to let him know what was happening.

_‘Heath…what’s going on with you? Oh God please, let him be okay. I can’t lose him…I can’t.’_

He paced back and forth, trying and failing to keep himself calm. _‘Where is that damn doctor?!’_ he was thinking for what must’ve been the third time, when the door finally opened and the man Sugizo recognized as Doctor Yazaki walked out.

“Doctor, please tell me what’s going on with Heath,” he said before the other man could say anything.

“He’s having some trouble at the moment. We’re trying to back off the sedation so that he can wake up, but he’s fighting the ventilator. That’s causing his blood pressure and heart rate to go way up,” the man explained.

“Okay, so you’re telling me he’s really agitated then. But his life’s not in danger, right?”

“No, but he’s having a hard time and it’s difficult for loved ones to watch. That’s why we stopped you out here until I could come and talk to you. It actually would help if a familiar voice could talk to him and try to keep him calm for a while. Are you up to that?” the doctor asked.

“Definitely. Can he hear me though?”

“Oh yes. He’s been able to hear you this entire time. Whether he will remember any of it, that’s another story,” the doctor advised.

Walking into Heath’s room, a little apprehensively if he was honest, Sugizo looked worriedly over at his friend. The readings on the monitors weren’t steady like they had been for the last few days. He was glad to see Heath moving a little, facial expressions changing a bit, hands and arms twitching.

_‘This can’t be what the doctor was thinking we’d be startled and upset by,’_ he thought. _‘There must be more.’_

Several minutes later, he was about to find out exactly what the doctor was referring to. All at once, Heath started moving around a lot more, his head turning from side to side, hands moving up to almost clutch at his throat, a weak coughing/choking sound coming from him. The nurse stopped his left hand as it went up to grasp the ventilator tube. Alarms on the monitors were going off right and left.

The guitarist stood back and let the nurse try to calm him down, staying out of the way. He wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“Come over and talk to him,” she started. “If he hears a familiar voice it might help calm him down some. Just don’t let him grab the vent tube or anything else important.”

He could do that.

Stepping over to the head of the bed, he began rubbing Heath’s hair. “Hey handsome—can you hear me? It’s Sugi. I know you’re scared right now, but you’re going to be just fine, okay? I promise. Try to calm down for me, Heath.” He paused and then started again, speaking slowly.

“You’re okay. Just calm down for me. You’re not choking, that’s just the ventilator tube helping you breathe, okay? Don’t fight it—it’s helping you. Can you hear me, brother?” He leaned down and kissed his friend’s forehead. Without the mask he could feel skin and it felt more natural. He continued stroking Heath’s dark hair and touching his face like the staff had told him.

Heath had quieted down quite a bit and as a result, so had the monitors. Sugizo continued to touch him to reassure him that someone was there, but he turned to the nurse to ask her a few things.

“So him getting this agitated and worked up isn’t hurting him, right?”

“No, we won’t let things get to that point. If we have to increase the sedation we can, but we’re trying to wean him off of it so that he can fully wake up,” she instructed him.

“Okay, so when can the vent be removed? That seems to be what’s bothering him the most.” He really hated that ventilator.

“Well, he has to wake up to the level that we can judge whether or not he’s breathing on his own well enough to remove it. We don’t want to remove the tube too soon and then have to reintubate him. You risk causing more damage to the throat that way, not to mention increasing the chance of infection.”

A few minutes later it started all over again. As the sedation wore off, the more aware and uncomfortable Heath became. He thrashed his head about, sounding like he was choking on the tube that ran down his throat. Sugizo could tell that he was beginning to panic a bit as he again grabbed for his throat and the tube in his mouth.

“No no…don’t do that, Heath. Can you hear me? It’s Sugi. I’m still here, brother. Please calm down,” the auburn-haired man said sweetly, hoping to allay his friend’s fears. “I know you’re scared, but you’re going to be okay. Shhhhh…be calm, be calm,” he repeated over and over while stroking the man’s face and hair. Again, it worked and Heath stopped thrashing and trying to yank the tube out of his throat.

The panic returned not too long afterward, however, with Heath pressing his head back into the pillow and toward the headboard as if he was trying to stretch his neck in order to get rid of the tube. His eyes opened wide for the first time in days and it startled his friend who was bent over him trying to calm him down. The nurse noticed him jump and she looked over.

“He’s not really looking at you. His eyes can’t focus right now—too much sedative still in his system. It’s startling though, isn’t it?” she asked. “Happens all the time.”

The guitarist had to hold Heath’s wrists at one point to keep him from inadvertently doing damage to himself.

“He seems to be getting stronger though. That’s a good thing, right?”

The nurse nodded and smiled at him.

These periods of calm and panic went on the entire time Sugizo was with him. At one point he told the nurse that he felt like a failure because he couldn’t keep Heath calm.

“No, dear…it’s not you. This is completely normal. Anyone who feels something in their throat that shouldn’t be there coughs and chokes and tries to get rid of it. Natural reflex. The problem here is that he’s been heavily sedated and he doesn’t understand what’s happening to him. He’s confused and scared. It’s definitely not your fault,” she explained to him with a warm smile. “You are actually very good with him. If you ever decide to give up music, come be a nurse!” She winked and grinned at him.

He smiled and chuckled. “I’ll think about doing that.”

Just about then, his cell phone rang in his pocket. Scrambling to silence it, he apologized to the nurse.

“I am so sorry—I meant to silence this stupid thing.”

He saw on the display that it was Toshi, so he figured he’d better answer it.

“Hey Tosh. – No, I’m fine. Sorry about that. – Well, he’s trying to wake up which is good, but he’s having a hard time. That’s why I haven’t called. Been in here with him trying to keep him calm. – Yes, I could really use some help. – You and Pata. Yoshi couldn’t handle this—he’d get too upset. – Well, he’s thrashing around, trying to cough, sounds like he’s choking. – Uh huh, it’s kinda scary. And he’s also trying to pull the vent tube out. – Yeah, he’s opened his eyes a few times, but the nurse says he probably can’t focus just yet.”

He finished off the conversation by asking about Luna who he was told was having a nice time watching TV and doing absolutely nothing else. It was decided that she would stay with Yoshiki who would be kept up to date on Heath’s condition while Toshi came up to the hospital to help Sugizo with their friend. Pata would be filled in on the situation and hopefully he could either help with Heath or go stay with Luna.

The nurse pushed in a small recliner for Heath’s ‘brothers’ to use since it seemed they were going to be spending quite a bit of time back there. Sugizo thanked her immensely and sank down into it for a nice, restful fifteen minutes or so before Heath began groaning and coughing again.

As the guitarist was speaking to Heath and stroking his hair, the sick man’s eyes opened wide again, seemingly looking up at Sugizo, but he wasn’t sure that he was focusing on anything.

“Heath, can you see me? I’m right here,” he said sweetly, touching his friend’s face. Sugizo held the man’s hands gently but firmly and kept talking to him. Heath blinked several times like he was trying to get his eyes to focus, but the only sound he could manage was a weak moan.

“You’re okay, please don’t be scared. I’m here for you, brother,” Sugizo told him again.

All at once, Heath turned his head away from the guitarist and toward the other side of the bed, almost like he was looking at something. He did calm down however, so at first Sugizo didn’t think too much about it. He stayed that way for so long though that his friend started first looking at Heath’s eyes to see if it looked like he was actually focused on anything or if he just had his eyes opened and head turned that way. It was hard for Sugizo to tell though, so he tried to follow Heath’s line of sight to see if he himself could see anything that Heath might be staring at, but again, he couldn’t really tell. He even tried to gently turn Heath’s face back toward him, but couldn’t without forcing it, so he just left him alone.

“Heath? Do you see something? What are you looking at?” Sugizo asked, reaching up to stroke the man’s hair.

He of course got no response and eventually Heath’s eyes closed and he drifted back off into unconsciousness.

Sitting in the recliner, he rested his head in his hands. He felt mentally exhausted already and it wasn’t even afternoon yet. So many thoughts running through his mind, he didn’t hear the other man enter the room of their mutual friend. It wasn’t until he heard a familiar voice and felt a gentle hand on his knee that he realized someone else was there.

“You okay, Sugi?” the voice said and he lifted his head to see Toshi knelt in front of him.

“Hmmm…yeah, I’m okay. Just taking a breather,” he told his friend who looked fairly concerned. He stretched in the chair and looked over at Heath who was calm for the moment. “How long you been here?”

“Like five minutes, that’s all. How’s he doing?” the vocalist asked.

“Well…sometimes he’s out cold like this, and other times he’s thrashing around and trying to pull everything loose. Not much in between,” Sugizo sighed. “How’s Luna? She behaving herself?”

“Oh yeah, just being a typical teenager—watching TV, playing video games, you know…” Toshi said with a smile. “Tanaka-San was teaching her how to cook something when I left the house. They seem to get along great.”

“Good to know. I hate for her to miss school, but until I know she’s safe there, I guess I’ll have to hire a tutor or something. And I was thinking this morning, I’m going to have to buy a house. That condo won’t do for both of us being there all the time. I just have so much on my mind…” the auburn-haired man said, the stress evident in his voice.

“It’ll all work out, brother. Just take one thing at a time.”

They heard a moan coming from Heath’s direction and he began to struggle again. Sugizo caught his hands just as they reached his face and took hold of the vent tube.

“No, Heath…don’t pull that,” the guitarist said, unable to both hold his right hand and pry the fingers of his left off the tube. “Tosh, go around and hold his right hand for me. Shhh…Heath, calm down. You’re okay. Just calm down for me. It’s okay, you’re going to be fine.” He continued to talk to him while removing his long fingers from the vent tube.

On the other side of the bed, Toshi was holding Heath’s right hand and stroking his arm, hoping the gentle touch would help calm his agitated friend.

“Heath, I’m here too. We all love you and want to help you get better,” the vocalist said softly. “Can you hear me, little brother?”

All at once, Heath’s eyes opened wide, startling the two men who were hovering on both sides of him. He groaned a little, but it sounded more like he was wanting to talk than the previous coughing noises he’d been making. Sugizo motioned for Toshi to speak to him again, thinking maybe he was responding to his friend’s voice.

“Heath, can you hear me? It’s Toshi. I’m right here, brother.” He rubbed the man’s arm again. “I need you to stay calm for me, okay? The sooner you wake up, the sooner they can take that tube out that’s bothering you.”

Heath groaned a couple more times, but then his eyes closed and he drifted off again.

Sugizo shrugged and shook his head. “Hard to know if he’s responding to us or not.”

He walked over to the recliner and dropped into it heavily, again resting his head in his hands.

“Sugi, get out of here for a while. I’ll stay with him and Pata said he’d come help as well,” Toshi said, seeing how tired the man looked.

“Yeah, I probably will. I need to go spend some time with Luna anyway.”

He pushed himself up and stepping back up to the head of the bed, kissed Heath’s forehead again and stroked his hair.

“You call or text me though if anything changes—I mean it, Tosh.” He gave his friend a serious look.

“I will, I swear it. Now please, get outta here.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Hope you enjoy the new chapter!

“Ummm, Papa…I have a little problem,” Luna said, sitting down next to her dad on the sofa where he’d been resting for a bit.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Sugizo asked without lifting his head or opening his eyes.

“Well, the clothes you brought for me from your apartment don’t really fit anymore. This is the only outfit I have besides the one I had on yesterday,” she said, not really wanting to bother him, but not knowing what else to do.

He lifted his head and looked at her. “Really? Well, damn…guess I didn’t think about that when I was packing stuff.”

Luna’s dad looked at his watch. “Guess we need to go shopping then, huh?” he asked her, causing a big grin to cross her face.

“Just for a few things. I know you’re tired.” She thought for a minute. “Can we go to the mall?”

_‘Typical teenager,’_ he thought. “Sure, why not? Let me check in and see how Heath’s doing and then we’ll go, okay?”

“Thank you, Papa!” she kissed his cheek and bounded off to get her things together.

Sugizo took out his phone and checked his messages and missed calls. He saw a few numbers that he didn’t recognize along with voicemails that he decided to put off listening to until later. _‘Probably just the bitch again,’_ he thought. With no calls or texts from anyone important, he went to see if anyone else was in the house. He found someone in the kitchen.

“Yoshiki-San left a note for you,” the housekeeper said, gesturing toward the island counter.

The guitarist nodded to her and opened it.

_Sugi-_

_You look beyond exhausted, so I didn’t wake you. I’m going up to the hospital to check on Heath—I do wish you and Toshi would stop babying me._

_Luna is safe with both you and Tanaka-San here—she knows how to call security if need be. Please make yourself at home, but don’t drink all my scotch. Or bourbon. Or brandy._

_~Yoshi_

_PS—Or red wine. You can have the white and rose’._

_______________

“Okay, which stores you want to go into?” Sugizo asked his daughter as they walked through the mall doors.

“Well, I need pants, tops, pajamas, and underwear, so…” she said, flashing a smile up at her dad.

“Oh, is that all?!” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

They headed toward a couple of stores that Luna said she normally shopped at and started looking. After twenty minutes or so, Luna looked up at her obviously tired dad.

“You don’t have to stay right with me, ya know. You can go sit over there and wait if you want.” She indicated a seating area where it seemed that lots of men had ended up, waiting on wives, girlfriends, daughters, etc.

“Well, okay…but don’t get out of my sight,” he told her.

“I won’t, stop worrying,” she replied and kissed his cheek.

Half an hour later, she had picked out enough clothes for three or four outfits and Sugizo went with Luna to pay for her choices.

“Okay, you got everything now, Honey?” he asked, hoping she said ‘yes’.

“For now, this’ll do,” she said brightly. “Can we go get a smoothie before we leave?”

There was a certain smoothie stand that Luna and her friends loved to frequent and she really wanted to take her dad there. There also happened to be a certain young man who worked there and she was dying to find out if he was working that day.

“Sure, why not? But after that we need to go, okay? I need to go check on Heath again.”

“Okay! It’s this way,” she said, taking him by the hand and pulling him with her. They walked through the mall, hand in hand, chatting about school and friends and stuff when Sugizo suddenly asked her something.

“So you don’t mind being seen holding hands with your old man?” he asked her with a grin, swinging their hands between them.

“Huh? No, of course not. Why?”

“Well, most teenagers don’t want to be seen with their parents, if I remember correctly. Most of your friends walk the mall with their moms and dads?” He knew the answer to that, but he wanted to hear her take on it.

“To be honest, no, they don’t. But none of my friends have a cool dad like you,” Luna replied with a sweet smile.

“Oh, I’m cool, am I? Just wait until the first time I won’t let you do something you want. We’ll see how cool I am then,” he laughed.

She rolled her eyes at him and then pointed straight ahead. “That’s the place. Hopefully my friend is working today.”

Walking up, she came face to face with her crush and her dad thought he saw her blush a bit.

“Oh, hi! Didn’t know you’d be here today,” she said, trying to be nonchalant. “Brought my dad by to try one of your smoothies.”

Sugizo smiled at the young man and read his name tag. “Hi Riku, nice to meet you.”

Riku, who looked to be about seventeen and rather cute, looked at Luna’s dad and then tried to hold it together once he realized who he was looking at.

“Ummm…hello. What can I get for you, Sugizo-San?” He was trying his best not to sound like a fan boy.

“Whatever she wants.” He turned to his daughter. “What do you suggest, Luna?”

“How about the triple berry one? It’s my favorite,” she answered, smiling sweetly, but her dad didn’t know if the smile was for him or this young man in front of him.

“Sounds good. Two triple berry smoothies, please.”

Sugizo paid for their drinks and gave Riku a nice tip on top of that. He turned to see Luna talking to and giggling with three other young girls, so he walked over to hand her the smoothie once it was ready.

“Thanks, Papa,” she said, taking the cup from him. “These are some friends from school. Yuma, Mei, and Hina…this is my dad, Sugihara-San.”

They all bowed to him which he returned with a smile. “Just call me Sugizo, everyone does.”

He decided to give Luna a little time with her friends since things were changing radically for the girl right now. He stayed and talked with them, even agreeing to take selfies with them as long as they didn’t alert the rest of the mall.

Out the corner of his eye, he began to notice a couple of men not too far away, talking on their phones, watching the little group of friends. He thought that he had seen them earlier back at the store where Luna was shopping, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Luna, honey…we need to get going. I need to go see my friend at the hospital,” he said, speaking quietly so as not to be overheard outside the group.

“Oh, okay. Gotta go—see you later! I’ll explain when I can!” she said to her friends.

Together, she and her dad walked back down the mall the way they’d come before, though at an increased speed. Sugizo made an excuse and looked back, scanning to see if the two men he’d spotted before were anywhere close by.

_‘Is that one of them? Looks like the same jacket,’_ he thought and the anxiety in him rose. He steered Luna into the next big store they came to and kept walking deep into it, finding the tallest clothing racks he could spot.

“Papa, where are we going? What’s wrong?” the girl asked, noticing how suspicious he was acting.

He put a finger to his lips to silence her. They stayed behind the tall racks with Sugizo holding onto Luna’s arm, trying to look around without being too obvious. After several minutes of not seeing anything, he decided it was time to move.

“Nothing’s wrong, baby. It’s okay. Let’s go,” he said, putting his arm around her and walking directly toward the exit back out into the mall. Once out, they moved as quickly as possible to the mall doors and then out into the parking lot. He kept scanning around, holding her close to him, moving as fast as he could.

“Papa, slow down a little. Your legs are longer than mine,” she pleaded, having to almost break into a trot to keep up.

“Sorry, honey. Let’s get outta here, okay?”

Moving the car as soon as they were in and belted, Sugizo drove around the mall parking lot once before exiting and then pulling over into another lot not far up the street.

“Okay—tell me what’s up,” Luna asked. “You’re acting weird.”

He looked over at her in the passenger seat looking even younger than she was.

_‘What do I say? I don’t want to scare her. She needs to be aware, but I don’t want her being afraid of every stranger she sees…’_

“Baby…I don’t want to worry you, but…” he started, tailing off as his phone began to ring. “But…” He saw that it was Toshi calling, so he answered it, putting off the uncomfortable talk he needed to have with his little girl.

“Hey Tosh.”

“Sugi, Heath’s awake—completely awake! You need to come up here!”

“He is? Is he okay? Has he said anything?” the guitarist asked, just as Luna began pulling on his arm.

“Papa? Is it Uncle Heath? Is he okay?” she asked, half excited, half frightened.

Sugizo nodded his head and then held his hand up to her so that he could hear what Toshi was trying to tell him.

“He seems okay to me. Hasn’t said much yet, but his throat is kinda wrecked, I think. But the good thing is, the vent tube is out and he’s breathing just fine on his own!” the vocalist reported.

“Oh that’s awesome! We’ll be right up there!” Sugizo replied and then paused. “Ummm, Tosh…hang on a minute.” He turned to Luna. “I need to talk to Toshi for a minute. Stay right here, I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

She nodded but looked a bit confused. Her dad got out and closed the door, but stayed right there with the car.

“Tosh, could you meet us in the parking garage?”

“Ummm, okay, sure… Mind if I ask why?”

“Okay…I’m probably being paranoid, but I think Luna and I were being followed at the mall just now. I had to take her to get some clothes since she can’t go home just yet, and I think there were a couple of guys following us,” Sugizo answered, not sure what his good friend was going to think.

“Really? Okay, I’ll meet you there. Just text me and let me know which level you’re on.”

“Thank you, brother. I appreciate it.”

Toshi returned his phone to his back pocket and smiled at the others.

“He’s on his way.” He smiled and then took his fiancé by the arm and pulled him over to the corner of the room, leaving Pata to talk to Heath.

“When he gets here, I’m going to go down and meet them in the parking garage. Apparently, he took Luna to the mall to get some clothes and he thinks they were followed,” he told Yoshiki, a concerned look on his face.

“Damn…okay, looks like we’re going to have to get some security for her, whether Papa Dear likes it or not. You be careful in that garage.”

“I don’t think he’ll argue. He sounded pretty shaken just now,” Toshi reported and promised to watch his back.

Sugizo and Luna made it up to Heath’s room without incident, Toshi meeting them like he’d promised with no sightings of anything suspicious.

As soon as they entered the room, the guitarist noticed a change in the atmosphere. There was Heath with the head of the bed slightly elevated, eyes open, complexion closer to the color it should be, and an oxygen mask in place of the ventilator.

“Uncle Heath! You’re awake!” Luna exclaimed, moving over to the side of the bed.

The man’s eyes focused on her and he tried to make a little sound, but nothing much came out.

“You recognize this young lady, don’t you?” Pata asked with a smile.

Heath was able to make a very small nod and he moved his hand that was on her side of the bed. Luna took his hand gently in hers and kissed it.

“I’m so glad you’re awake…I was worried about you!” she said.

Her dad walked over to the bed and, leaning forward, put his forehead to Heath’s for a moment. He then placed a kiss on his friend’s head and moved to look him in the eyes.

“I was worried about you too,” he said softly.

Heath couldn’t speak or even move very much, but there was something about the way he looked into Sugizo’s eyes that told the man what he needed to know. Heath knew him, had known he was there, and was going to be okay. That’s all the guitarist needed for now.

After they had all visited for a while, with Heath napping on and off, one of the nurses came in and let them know that one of them was welcome to stay and sleep in the recliner if they wanted to.

“Morie-San’s doctor thinks it would help keep him calm if someone he knew was close by. That way, when he wakes up during the night, he won’t feel alone,” she told them.

The discussion was not _if_ one of them wanted to stay—rather it was _who_ was going to do it. After going back and forth about it, Pata spoke up.

“Okay, that’s enough. I’m staying and that’s that. You losers can fight over who stays tomorrow.” With that, he said he was going home to grab a few things and he’d be back in about an hour or so. He hugged Luna and with a wave, he was out of there.

Yoshiki, Toshi, Sugizo, and Luna all looked at each other not knowing what to say.

“Well, I guess that’s that. Pata has spoken!” Yoshiki said with a big laugh.

_______________

Heath would sleep for a while and then be awake for maybe ten minutes and then back to sleep. This went on for most of the night. Sometimes Pata would be awake when Heath was and he’d go over and talk to him and hold his hand. Other times, Heath would wake up and look over to see Pata there, asleep in the recliner. He’d watch him for a bit until he finally drifted off to sleep again.

One of these times, Heath had awakened suddenly and made a few groaning noises, so Pata got up and went to check on him. The alarms on the monitors weren’t going off, so he assumed everything was okay. He held and rubbed Heath’s hand and spoke to him softly.

“Hey, little brother…are you okay? Is something bothering you?”

Heath’s eyes opened again, but instead of looking in the direction of the voice, he looked toward the other side of the bed and just continued to stare at seemingly nothing.

“Okay, now…that’s the second time you’ve done that tonight. What are you looking at?” Pata asked, continuing to scan that side of the little room to see what might be holding his gaze.

Try as he might though, he couldn’t find anything over there even remotely interesting. Consequently, a disturbing thought began to form in the guitarist’s mind as he sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his friend’s long, dark hair.

_‘He had a very high fever for quite a while and it started while he was alone over the weekend…we don’t know how high it was or exactly when it started. I hope it didn’t do any…damage.’_

Pata placed a hand under the side of Heath’s face and tried to turn his head so that he could look at his eyes, but he found he couldn’t without forcing the issue. He knew the doctors would do some cognitive tests on Heath once the sedative was completely out of his system and they could get accurate results. He and the others would just have to wait.


	10. Chapter 10

By the following afternoon, the doctor was satisfied enough with Heath’s progress to allow him to be moved out of ICU and into a step-down unit where he’d have a more standard room and a little more privacy.

Having to wear the positive pressure mask to keep his oxygen levels up, the bassist was still predominantly silent except for the occasional groan or humming sound. At least now, though, his eyes were able to focus and he could stay awake for more than ten minutes at a time.

He was still being watched rather closely with monitors to measure his oxygen saturation, heart rate, etc. His dedicated nurse kept an eye on his blood pressure and temperature, as well as keeping the IV fluids going.

Heath was able to communicate a little with his hands, but was still too weak to try writing anything. He could blink at you, nod a little or squeeze your hand or point, but that was about it for now.

One thing he was able to communicate though and that was how happy he was to see all of the guys plus Luna coming in to see him constantly. Yoshiki would shower him with kisses every time he came into the room, Toshi would hug and kiss him and call him ‘little brother’, Pata was a little more reserved but he did hug Heath regularly and pat his head, also calling him ‘little brother’. Luna was her usual bubbly self, kissing and hugging him and calling him ‘Uncle’. Sugizo’s manner was probably the most surprising to Heath. The guitarist was known to be soft-spoken, kind, and rather serious at times, but the bassist was still a bit taken aback at the way his auburn-haired friend looked into his eyes, stroked his hair, and kissed his forehead as had become Sugizo’s custom over the last several days.

A couple of things were different now in the step-down unit from how they’d been in Intensive Care: he could have non-family visitors and he could receive gifts. By the evening of his first day out of ICU, he had already begun to receive flowers, balloons, cards, and stuffed animals with the first being a purple teddy bear from Luna who had decided it was ‘absolutely perfect’ for her ‘Uncle Heath’.

Her dad hadn’t wanted to take her out in public again so soon after the mall incident, but because a part of Sugizo thought that he was just being paranoid and because his baby girl was begging him to take her to get a gift for Heath, he relented. He did, however, take the step of driving them quite a ways from where Luna would normally frequent to the other side of the city to go shopping.

Security was, of course, still a major concern. His nerves had been on edge for what seemed like forever, so he was talking seriously to a few people about hiring armed personal security for Luna for any time she was out of the house. That included when she was out with her dad or any of her ‘uncles’. It was like he told Yoshiki, who was helping him find the right contacts for this: _‘I’d lay down my life for her and I know you guys all love her and would do your best for her, but at the end of the day…we’re all better lovers than fighters. I need some professionals.’_ Yoshiki had heartily agreed.

“I have a meeting with the head of the security company tomorrow morning,” Sugizo told Yoshiki as they were leaving the hospital that evening. “If I’m able to get something worked out fairly quickly, Luna and I can probably go back to my apartment and get out of you and Toshi’s way.”

“Sugi, you are _not_ in our way. It’s kinda nice to have friends over for a change, you know? And besides, with Luna there, Tanaka-San is happier than I’ve seen her in years. She was singing in the kitchen this afternoon,” the blonde told him with a chuckle.

“Can she sing?” Sugizo asked with a laugh.

Yoshiki thought for a moment about that. “She’s not bad, actually…”

Toshi had agreed—no, insisted—that he be the one to stay with ‘Hi-Chan’ that evening, so once Pata, Yoshiki, Sugizo, and Luna had left, he worked on making himself comfortable for the night. He pulled the recliner over to Heath’s bedside in order to be closer in case his little brother needed him during the night.

“Want me to read to you? How about a bedtime story?” Toshi asked with a mischievous grin. “A lullaby, maybe? I’m told I have a fair singing voice.”

Heath, of course, didn’t answer verbally, but the one-finger salute that he held up for his friend told Toshi all he needed to know.

After a burst of laughter, Toshi held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay…you win. No lullaby. Geez, you really know how to hurt a guy,” he said with a fake pout. He got an eye roll from Heath for his trouble.

The night was fairly uneventful with the nurses coming in every so often to check on Heath’s blood pressure and temperature and to see if he or Toshi needed anything.

Once when the vocalist had gotten up to use the restroom, he noticed something odd on his way back to the recliner. Heath looked to be awake, but only barely—his eyes half-open—but he seemed to be fixated on something on the right side of his bed. Toshi walked around to that side to take a good look at his friend’s face and also to see if he could figure out what he was looking at—if anything.

Heath didn’t exactly have a blank stare going on, it was like he was actually looking at something, but Toshi couldn’t see anything. He did notice, however, that Heath’s right hand seemed to be gripping lightly, his thumb rubbing against his index finger. Toshi placed his hand over Heath’s.

_‘What is going on with you, little brother?’_

“Heath? Can you hear me?” The stare continued. Toshi heard a little groan come from the man, but he didn’t know if Heath was trying to answer him or not. About that time, his long, black lashes fluttered a bit and his eyes closed.

Almost immediately, one of the monitors started beeping incessantly, badly startling Toshi.

_‘Which machine is that?’_ he wondered, looking at all of the readouts.

Finally, Heath’s nurse came in and surveyed the situation. She saw how anxious the vocalist looked.

“It’s okay, Toshi-San. It’s just letting me know that his IV bag needs changing.” She paused, looking at him. “He’s okay, I promise.”

Toshi felt relieved, but also felt the need to offer some sort of explanation. He wasn’t given to dramatics—that was his fiancé’s department.

“Sorry…it’s just that…he was acting sort of strange a few minutes ago and then just when he closed his eyes, the alarm went off.

“Strange? In what way?” the nurse asked, wanting to do what she could to ease his mind.

“He was just staring…completely fixated on _something_ on this side of the bed. Right about…” he moved to get in the right place, “…here. But there’s nothing over here.”

“Hmmm…well, I’m not sure. It’s possible he was dreaming.”

“His eyes were open, well…partially open. I’ve known the man for nearly twenty years and I’ve never seen him sleep with his eyes open,” Toshi told her.

She shrugged. “The important thing is he’s okay, the readings are good. Don’t worry too much about odd behavior from someone who’s just come out of a coma. There’s no telling what’s going on in his head—particularly when he’s asleep or has been asleep. The mind is a funny thing.”

Toshi sighed. “You don’t have to tell me…I’ve had firsthand experience.”

_______________

The following day was a busy one for Heath. Word had apparently gotten around that he was awake and able to receive visitors because there was a fairly steady stream of notable musicians traipsing in and out of the hospital all day. Flowers and balloons were not in short order either.

Toshi, Yoshiki, Pata, and Sugizo all agreed to get together for lunch so that they could discuss what was going on with Heath, Luna, security issues, and various other things. J and Shinya said they’d be happy to sit with Heath while the guys went and had their lunch meeting, so it was all arranged.

Sugizo had gotten notification from his lawyer that morning that the emergency custody hearing was set for Monday afternoon and that he and Luna needed to meet with the legal team earlier on that day in order to go over their game plan. The lawyer seemed to be confident in their argument for custody though, even without having concrete proof of Reina’s threats to take Luna. That made the guitarist feel much better about things.

Sugizo had also met with the security firm that Yoshiki and their band management had suggested and worked out a deal for a security detail for not only Luna, but for himself as well. After hearing the details of the situation, the head of the firm brought up a point that the guitarist hadn’t thought about: He needed security as well. At first, Sugizo had balked at the idea, but he changed his mind when confronted with the fact that if anything happened to him, Luna would be placed back with her mother by the courts. And, the gentleman reasoned, if his ex-wife was a bit unhinged like Sugizo thought she was, what would keep her from deciding to just take him out and solve her problem permanently? If she was prepared to take the child and run anyway, why not eliminate him first so that he couldn’t come after them? It was a sobering thought for sure. That meeting ended with a deal for security for the both of them—at least for the time being. He relayed all of this to the group over their appetizers.

The other point on the agenda was, of course, Heath. To a man, they were all quite happy and relieved that their friend was recovering from his ordeal. Getting him awake and out of ICU was the first milestone and he had happily passed that. There were still issues, of course.

“Okay, it may be absolutely nothing, but there’s something bothering me,” Toshi began. “The nurse said not to worry about it, but I can’t get it off my mind.”

“Don’t keep us in suspense—tell us what it is,” Yoshiki responded.

“Yeah, what is it, Tosh?” Sugizo added.

“Well, last night while I was with him, I had gotten up to use the restroom and, on the way back, I noticed him staring at something but…there was nothing there. And he was intent about it too. I couldn’t distract him from it.”

“And you’re sure he was awake at the time and not dreaming?” Yoshiki asked.

“Yes, his eyes were at least partially open,” Toshi answered.

“I’m glad you brought this up. He did the same thing a couple of times while I was with him night before last. I even tried to turn his head away from whatever he was looking at, but I couldn’t without forcing him to move and I didn’t want to do that.” Pata paused and then continued.

“I’ll be honest—it worries me. I’m concerned that maybe his fever was so high for so long that it might have caused some brain damage.” The others looked shocked, but Pata wouldn’t be deterred. “I didn’t want to think that and don’t want to worry you guys, but I think it needs to be considered.”

Pata always had been the ‘tough love’ one of the pack. His theory was to get it all out in the open and deal with it, for good or for bad.

Sugizo had gotten really quiet all of a sudden. While Pata was talking, he was sitting at the table, toying with his wine glass, not looking at the others.

“Sugi…something wrong?” Yoshiki asked finally after looking at the other two and being greeted with shrugs.

The younger guitarist sat there in silence for a bit longer and then sighed heavily. “I still feel like his deteriorating condition is partly my fault. I should’ve been there for him and I wasn’t.” He continued to look down at the table, not wanting to face any of his friends.

“Come on now, Sugi—it’s not your fault! We all screwed up there. None of us called him or went by to see how he was—not just you,” Toshi offered, trying to make the man feel a bit better.

“But you guys don’t understand--I _owe_ him! I owe him big time and I let him down,” Sugizo told them, the anguish evident in his voice.

“Because of him taking you in when you left your ex?” Yoshiki asked.

The auburn-haired man nodded silently, and then said, “Yeah, I didn’t know you knew about that. Doesn’t matter anyway. I may as well tell you the rest—he probably saved my career. Made me go to the hospital to get checked out when I really didn’t want to.” He sighed again. “See, my old lady broke—no, shattered--my hand that night—my left hand. If I hadn’t gone to the hospital then and there, it probably would’ve healed wrong and I wouldn’t be able to play guitar _or_ violin. And yeah, he gave me a place to stay until I found an apartment. Even went with me back over to my house to pack more of my things with that nasty bitch calling him names and accusing him of sleeping with me behind her back and lots of other stuff. It was a bad scene.” Again, he stopped to contain himself. “So you see, I _owe_ him…and I utterly failed him.”

Yoshiki got up from his seat and wrapped his arms around Sugizo’s shoulders from behind, resting his head against his friend’s.

“So hard to believe she treated you like that. You didn’t deserve it, you know that, right?” the blonde asked him.

“Well…I might have deserved _some_ of it, but no, I didn’t deserve to be abused like that.”

It had taken a long time for the man to admit that he had, in fact, been abused. It wasn’t considered ‘manly’ to admit that your wife physically abused you. He made excuses to his bandmates for the black eyes and marks on his cheeks, not to mention the bruises in various places.

“But I _never_ hit her back—not once,” he said, looking up at them at last.

“We believe you, Sugi—we always have,” Toshi said softly.

Pata and Yoshiki nodded in agreement.

“But you see, that’s why I feel so terrible about just abandoning Heath like I did last weekend. I _knew_ he was sick and getting sicker and I just left him.” He stopped with that and took another long drink of wine, afterward holding his glass out to the offered bottle from Yoshiki.

“Oh, but yes,” Sugizo added before he lost his train of thought. “I know what you mean about Heath getting fixated. When he was first trying to wake up from the sedation, he did that a couple of times while I was with him. He’d be fighting the ventilator, thrashing his head around and stuff, and then all of a sudden he’d stop and stare. Whatever it was calmed him down, but I’ll be damned if I know what’s going on with that.”

The younger guitarist said that he’d really like to be the one to stay with Heath that evening, being that Luna was happy and safe at Yoshiki and Toshi’s house. He felt bad about not being able to spend as much time as the others with their friend and bandmate, but the ordeal with Luna had to take priority now that he was out of danger. They all agreed and Sugizo went with Yoshiki to the hospital to visit with Heath for a bit before going to check in with his daughter.

While there, they ran into Inoran who had finally gotten back to Japan after being abroad for the last three weeks on tour. Apparently, the others had been keeping him informed about both Heath and the situation with Luna, to the best of their knowledge anyway. Inoran was all apologies when he saw Sugizo and Yoshiki outside Heath’s room.

“Hey guys! I am sooo sorry I’m just getting up here to see Hi-Chan. J has been trying to keep me up to date,” he said between hugs, the one with Sugizo lasting a bit longer. “How’s my Luna-baby?”

“She’s actually pretty good. I’m the one with the frayed ends,” the auburn-haired man said with a tired smile. “She’ll be happy to see you, ‘Uncle Ino’.”

The newcomer flashed them a wide smile. “Aww, she’s always been my best girl, you know that. So you’re trying to get custody, huh? That’s fantastic!”

“Yeah, it’s what she wants and after the threats the old bitch made, I don’t have a choice anymore. The first hearing is Monday—and I just hired an armed security detail this morning. I can’t take any chances.”

Inoran shook his head at how serious things had become. “Damn…” he simply said.

Just then, an idea struck the auburn-haired man. “Ino…I hate to ask you this and please, feel free to say ‘no’…I know you must be tired…but would you consider coming with me and Luna on Monday? I need another character witness and you’ve known me forever. Takuro is coming too.”

“What time Monday?” Inoran asked, pulling out his phone to check his calendar.

“Around 2pm. Hopefully it won’t last but maybe an hour or two at the most.”

“I’ll be there,” Inoran told his friend, putting a hand on the man’s arm.

Sugizo thanked him sincerely and went on to explain things a little more to his old friend before going in to check on Heath. He’d be back later to spend the night with him, but he didn’t want to go all day without seeing him.

_______________

After having dinner with Luna, Yoshiki, and Toshi at ‘home’, Sugizo made his way back up to the hospital to stay the night. He knew that Heath would be asleep most of the time, but he was looking forward to spending some one-on-one time with his good friend.

Walking into Heath’s room, he was surprised to see the bassist sitting up more in bed with a regular oxygen mask on instead of the positive pressure mask he’d been wearing since the vent tube came out. His nurse was straightening out his bedding and fluffing his pillows as Sugizo approached the bed.

“Well, hello there, your highness! May I rub your feet for you?” Sugizo said with a sweeping bow and a mischievous grin. The response he got was almost as surprising as his friend’s increased alertness. Heath reached up and pulled the mask away from his mouth with one hand, mouthed the words ‘Bite Me’, and flipped Sugizo off with the other hand.

That earned Heath a big laugh and an even bigger hug from his auburn-haired friend. “Now _that’s_ my Hi-Chan!!” Even the nurse got a nice laugh out of that.

Turning to Heath’s caregiver, the guitarist asked for some information. “So the mask…what’s the difference between this one and the other one he was wearing?”

She smiled at him, glad he was so interested in what was going on with her patient. “This one is a regular oxygen mask. Air flows out of it and he breathes it in at his own pace. It’s not as tight to his face as the other one and as you see, he can pull it away from his mouth rather easily. That other one was called a positive pressure mask. It ‘seals’ to the face and actually pushes air into the lungs almost like a ventilator, but without the tube. We were using that one to make sure his oxygen levels stayed where they needed to be. He’s doing well enough to just have this one for now, so long as he behaves himself…” She turned to point at Heath in a warning manner, grinning. “It stays on, okay?”

Heath gave her his best innocent look and nodded his head.

“Don’t worry—I’ll keep it on him,” Sugizo informed her, shooting a grin at his friend.

Once she’d left, the guitarist settled into the recliner and smiled up at Heath. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you looking and acting more like yourself. Can you speak at all?”

Heath held up his hand with two fingers indicating ‘a little’.

“Okay, well don’t push it. Between nods and middle fingers, I’m sure we can communicate just fine,” Sugizo said with a laugh. Heath laughed silently as well.

While he was doing much better now than even just a day earlier, his system was still extremely rundown, so he still slept a lot. The thing he was happy about at the moment was the fact that he could actually drink through a straw now and could eat a little Jell-O. He even conceded to letting Sugizo feed him when his hands became too shaky. The guitarist never thought he’d be so happy to sit on the side of a friend’s bed and spoon feed him, but there he was, in sleep pants, t-shirt, and sandals, doing just that. Feeling like he’d almost lost Heath made him appreciate things like this.

Eventually, both of them fell asleep. Sometime later though, a loud sound out in the hallway woke Sugizo and he nearly jumped out of the recliner. Getting up, he went to investigate the source of the noise. He opened the door just a bit and found a nurse picking up supplies from the floor where two big carts had obviously collided.

_‘I’m sorry,’_ she mouthed to him when she realized he was there.

“It’s okay—no harm done,” he replied with a small smile. _‘Boy, am I jumpy these days,’_ he thought as he walked back over to the recliner.

He checked on Heath, pushing a lock of hair out of his face and adjusting the oxygen mask a little since it seemed that his friend had pushed it a little askew in his sleep. Sugizo just stood and watched him for a few moments, again thinking how thankful he was that Heath was getting better. The scene where he’d found his friend collapsed in his apartment had replayed over and over again in the guitarist’s mind over the last several days and it was painful each time. Hopefully now that the man was getting better, Sugizo could try to put it out of his mind.

Quietly pulling the recliner over so that he would be right next to Heath’s bed and within arm’s reach of his friend, he sat back and tried to relax and get a little more sleep.

Hours passed with both men resting comfortably in the mostly dark, quiet room. At some point though, the auburn-haired man awoke, thinking he heard groaning sounds coming from his friend. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he could see Heath lying there, face turned away from Sugizo, quiet sounds that weren’t quite words coming from him. The guitarist watched him for a few seconds.

“Heath? Can you hear me?” he asked. There was no response.

Sugizo pushed himself up to a seated position and tried to see if his friend’s eyes were open. Just then, a louder sound from Heath made the man jump and as he refocused his attention, he began to see _something_ in front of his friend.

At first, Sugizo thought his eyes were just blurry from sleep and not having his glasses on, so he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his glasses, slipping them on.

_‘Still there,’_ he thought to himself, staring at the area just ahead of Heath. He thought that it looked like a distortion of light at first, but there was only a little light in the room coming from the bathroom, so he didn’t see how that would be possible. But regardless, there it was, growing more and more visible as Sugizo continued to stare, fascinated.

_‘What am I looking at?’_ he wondered.

The longer he looked, the clearer it became. Slowly, he began to make out the outline of a figure—a person, he thought—sitting or standing on the other side of Heath’s bed. He could almost make out a head and shoulders. Heath seemed totally transfixed, making small noises, actually reaching out to whatever—whoever—was appearing in front of him.

Sugizo, being of a spiritual nature, absolutely believed in the existence of spirits and angels. He had never seen one up to this point, but he was completely enthralled by what his eyes were seeing.

“Spirit, are you Heath’s guardian angel? Are you watching over him?” he asked, not knowing whether he’d get a response of any kind or not.

Upon being addressed, the figure allowed itself to become more visible to the man in the recliner. As it turned to look in his direction, Sugizo saw what Heath had apparently been seeing sitting in front of him.

The spirit appeared as a man of slight build with big, expressive eyes. He seemed to be fairly young. As he became more and more solid-looking, Sugizo could make out a kind, angular face with a shapely mouth.

_‘Why does he look familiar?’_

The guitarist rubbed his eyes behind his glasses and tried to refocus on the spectacle in front of him.

“Spirit…do I know you?” he managed to get out, his voice affected by the excitement.

The figure simply gave him a quirky smile and tilted his head, the combination of which jogged something in Sugizo’s mind. That’s when he noticed the hair.

_‘Pink hair… Oh my god…’_

“H-Hide?!”


	11. Chapter 11

Sugizo sat staring, eyes wide, mouth open. His mind was having trouble comprehending this.

The spirit scrunched its nose and gave him a smile in confirmation of the guess he’d just made. It—or rather he, as it was now known—turned back to Heath and looked seriously into his face, seemingly checking to make sure he was okay. When he was satisfied, he reached up and placed a hand alongside Heath’s cheek and gave him a smile.

Sugizo was still staring when the spirit sat back, blew a quick kiss to each of them, and then faded from view.

“Don’t…don’t go…” the guitarist said, leaning forward and extending a hand, but he was already gone.

Sitting back into the recliner, still almost in shock, Sugizo couldn’t say anything else just yet. He so wanted to believe that what he’d just seen was real, but could it be, he wondered. Had he really just seen Hide?

“Umm…Heath?” he finally said, looking over at his friend. “Please tell me you saw what I saw.”

The bassist nodded slowly—he didn’t seem as shocked as his friend. He reached up and moved the oxygen mask to the side.

“Hide,” he said in a quiet, hoarse-sounding voice.

“You’ve seen him before, haven’t you?” Sugizo asked.

Again, Heath nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” his friend asked excitedly.

Heath gave him a raised eyebrow look that said ‘Really?’. He then motioned to the little table over against the wall. Looking over there, Sugizo saw the small dry erase board and marker set that Yoshiki had brought for Heath. He hadn’t felt up to writing much before, but he and Sugizo needed to communicate about this and his throat just wasn’t up to talking.

The guitarist brought the board over to Heath, who uncapped the marker and wrote, ‘You would have thought I was crazy’.

Sugizo thought about that for a moment. “Well, I wouldn’t say ‘crazy’. I probably would’ve thought it was the meds,” he admitted. “Have you told any of the other guys?”

Heath shook his head. He pointed again to the ‘crazy’ comment he’d written.

His friend chuckled. “Okay, so how many times have you seen him?”

‘Three—I think,’ he wrote. ‘Maybe more.’

“Has he spoken to you?” Sugizo asked.

‘Think so. A little,’ Heath wrote.

“Sorry, but I’m just so fascinated. When he touched you, did you actually feel it?”

‘Sort of. Not like if you touched me. Tingles.’ Heath couldn’t think of a better way to describe the odd sensation of a spirit touching you.

“I hope he comes back—I want to see him again,” Sugizo said, beginning to sound just a bit sad.

‘He will. Don’t know when but he will.’

The guitarist was quiet for a few moments and then he turned back to his friend. “I think we might need to keep this to ourselves for now, don’t you think? They’ll just think we’re nuts.”

Heath nodded in agreement.

“Well, there goes me getting any more sleep. I’m too wound up now,” Sugizo said.

Heath wasn’t having that problem. He was already beginning to nod off with the board and marker still in his hands. Gently, his friend took them from him and put them back on the table, returning to pull the cover back up onto Heath’s arms. He also made sure the mask was positioned properly before trying to settle back down himself.

_‘I do not freakin’ believe this…Hide. Was it really you?’_

He replayed in his mind everything that he could remember.

_‘The face was definitely Hide…so was the hair. The tilt of his head and that grin…and just the way he looked at me. Yeah, it was him.’_

“Come back and visit me—I miss you,” Sugizo said aloud, but in a quiet voice so as not to disturb Heath.

“I miss you so much…”

_________________

The guitarist awoke to a nurse coming in to bring Heath breakfast. The doctor had decided it was time for him to start on a liquid diet so that he could regain his strength.

By the time Yoshiki and Toshi came in, Sugizo was helping Heath with a protein shake and some Jell-O. Yoshiki felt terrible that he wasn’t able to stay overnight with his friend, but due to the deteriorating condition of his neck and back, sleeping in a recliner was absolutely out of the question. He tried to make up for it by being there every morning and bringing him little things that he may or may not need—like a dry erase board set and a black cat stuffed animal that he said reminded him of the bassist.

“Good morning, Handsome,” the blonde said as he came over to the bed and kissed Heath’s head, still holding onto the small balloon bouquet that he had brought. “You’re definitely looking more like yourself today!”

“Morning,” Heath said in a low, but decidedly less croaky-sounding voice.

Toshi hugged him and ruffled his hair and then turned to hug Sugizo. “Morning, little brothers. How’d it go last night?”

The guitarist looked at him oddly. “So I’m now included in the ‘little brother’ group? When did this happen?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Oh, you’ve always been there—for a long time now.” Toshi didn’t feel the need to offer any other explanation.

Sugizo shrugged and grinned at Heath who was rolling his eyes at his ‘big brothers’.

“To answer your question, he had a good night. Quiet. Not much to tell, really,” the guitarist told them, shooting a knowing look at his bassist friend.

There was no need to bring up the ‘sighting’ and get Yoshiki all upset. That is, if he even believed them. There would be time for discussing all of that later.

“How’s Luna this morning?” her dad asked.

“Oh, she’s fine. Sitting in the kitchen, talking to Tanaka-San, drawing something in her notebook,” Yoshiki informed him.

“Good—I need to have a talk with her about Monday,” Sugizo said, a serious look crossing his face.

“What’s Monday?” Heath asked before taking another sip of his shake.

The auburn-haired man looked up at him. “Didn’t I tell you?”

Heath shook his head ‘no’.

“Found out yesterday that our emergency custody hearing is Monday afternoon, so we have to meet with the legal team that morning. I need to talk over with Luna what’s going to happen and we need to decide together what she’s going to tell the lawyer and the judge. Lawyer seems to think we have a good case because she’s technically old enough to decide who she wants to live with.”

“That old hag doesn’t deserve her,” Heath managed to get out. His voice was getting a little stronger, but he had indicated that his throat still hurt.

Toshi brought the dry erase board over for him. “Shhh, don’t strain your throat.” He looked down at it before giving it to Heath, last night’s conversation still there. “Been using this, I see. Who would think you’re crazy?”

Heath shot Sugizo a look.

“Nothing. We were just chatting about something last night—don’t even remember what it was now,” the guitarist answered, taking the board and wiping it clean before their friend could read any more.

Heath rolled his eyes. _‘Way to look guilty, Idiot,’_ he thought.

Toshi gave them both a suspicious look, but didn’t question them any further.

Sugizo excused himself to get changed so that he could head back to the house and see his daughter. There were lots of things they needed to talk about—the hearing, security, school, living arrangements, etc., etc. Before he left, he promised Heath that he’d bring her up to see him later that day. He kissed his friend’s forehead and headed out.

_______________

Driving back to Yoshiki and Toshi’s house, Sugizo heard his phone go off while he was negotiating traffic. Consequently, he couldn’t look at the caller ID before answering, but he thought it might be Luna so he took the chance.

“Hello?”

He heard the unmistakable voice of his ex-wife on the other end of the line. “Oh, you answered. Wonders never cease.”

He sighed heavily. “Reina…I’m driving at the moment. What can I do for you?”

“What can you do for me?! You can start by telling me where my damn daughter is! Her phone is apparently turned off and she hasn’t been to school since Tuesday! I’m just a _little_ worried about her, as you might expect!”

He sighed again and tried to remain as civil as possible, even though all he really wanted to do was hang up on her.

“ _Our_ daughter is safe and happy. She’s right where she wants to be. School is being taken care of. Did you get notification of the hearing on Monday?” he replied to her in even, measured tones.

“ _You_ don’t have custody of her, so you have _no_ right to interfere in her schooling. They shouldn’t even listen to you.”

“They do when accompanied by a police report. Did you get notified of the hearing?” he asked again.

“Yes, yes I did. And I can’t wait. I’ll remind you that _I’m_ the custodial parent and you’ve basically kidnapped Luna. The police will be waiting for you, Mr. High and Mighty. All of your money won’t fix this!”

“Uh huh…so why haven’t they already come for me then? It’s not like I’m all that difficult to find. I’ll tell you why—because they _know_ where I am _and_ where Luna is—it’s part of the police report I filed.” His temper was rising and it was beginning to show in his tone. “Again, this is what she wants and the court will _listen_ to what she wants!”

Sugizo pulled over into a parking lot to finish this conversation as he was getting heated and didn’t need to be trying to drive.

“She’s too young and immature to know _what_ she wants. _You_ talked her into doing this, I just know it!” Reina accused.

“No, I didn’t. Just like I’ve been telling you, I had nothing to do with it. Luna decided on her own that she wanted to come to me,” he replied. “And that’s exactly what I’ll tell the judge tomorrow.”

Reina wouldn’t be deterred. “And you think a judge will give a 15-year old girl to a promiscuous father who is never home, on the road for weeks at a stretch, spends most of his time in hotel rooms, dressing rooms, and bars,” she paused and laughed at him. “What kind of life is that for her? I don’t want my daughter sitting by and watching an endless parade of women _and men_ going in and out of your bedroom.”

“Listen to me, Reina…I’m not like that and you know it! Just because you caught me with someone 15 years ago, doesn’t mean I’m a raging whore. You made up most of that to make people feel sorry for you at the divorce hearing.

As for me not being home, I am working all of that out _as we speak_. If I have to quit touring and stay home to take care of my daughter, I fuckin’ will, okay?! I don’t _have_ to tour—hell, I don’t _have_ to do anything but be there for Luna.”

“What a joke…you don’t even know _how_ to be a real father. You’re more like an uncle to her and you know it. You don’t know the first thing about taking care of a child and being a real parent!”

“Well, if there’s a few things I’ve missed out on, it’s because you wouldn’t _let me_ be there for her! You’ve made sure all along that I didn’t get any extra time with her. You’ve always been so afraid that she might figure out that I’m not like you’ve always told her I am. Well, guess what? All your brainwashing attempts have failed. She doesn’t hate me, she doesn’t believe that I’m a slut, she knows I’m not on drugs and I don’t stay drunk half the day! You’re a miserable failure at turning my only child against me. Luna _loves_ me.”

“Listen, if you missed out on things, it’s your own fault— _you_ are the one that walked out and left us. Big bad rock star couldn’t be saddled with a wife and child…you’d rather be in bed with that pink-haired _freak_!” Reina countered.

Sugizo saw red and a menacing, humorless laugh escaped him. “Don’t you fuckin’ _dare_ say a word about Hide! He was a better, kinder person than you’ll _ever_ be!” he said through clenched teeth. Pausing, he tried to rein in the blind anger he felt towards her for bringing Hide into this. “You are a crazy old bitch, you know that?! Have you just conveniently forgotten _why_ I left you? You’re so damn delusional that I wonder if you even remember… Look, I gotta go. We’ll see you in court tomorrow.”

He pressed the button on his steering wheel to end the call and let out a low growl.

“Oh my god…what a fuckin’ cunt!” he yelled and slammed his hand on the steering wheel. “How dare she even bring up anything about Hide??!”

He laid his head back on the headrest and tried to just breathe until he calmed down. He was already anxious about Monday before that phone call and now he was absolutely dreading it.

Looking skyward, he took a deep breath. “Hide, I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I think now more than ever that maybe you can. Just know that I will not let that old bitch drag your name through the mud. I will shut her nasty mouth one way or another. You don’t deserve to be talked about like that and I will _not_ have it.”

Sugizo shook his head and rubbed his eyes behind his sunglasses. _‘I just need to go see Luna. She’ll cheer me up,’_ he thought as he put the car back into gear and drove off toward his temporary home.

“Papa! You’re home!” came a bright, sweet voice from the direction of the kitchen table as soon as he set foot in the room. “I missed you last night!” Luna said, coming over to wrap her arms around him and kiss his cheek.

Sugizo closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of hugging and being hugged by his little girl. A little girl who was growing up way too quickly for his liking.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m here now though. Would you like to go see your Uncle Heath later?”

“Definitely! Could we maybe go out for dinner, just me and you?” she asked, looking up at him with those big, dark eyes.

“How can I say ‘no’ to you?” he said with a chuckle. “Right now though, I need a shower in the worst way.”

“Sugizo-San, please come down for some lunch after your shower. Luna has been helping me cook!” Tanaka-San told him with a smile.

“She has?! Is it going to be edible?” he asked, laughing.

“Uh! Papa! Of course it will! Go get in the shower, you!” Luna exclaimed, throwing a dish towel at his head. “And get shaved! That moustache just isn’t you!”

Laughing, he headed off upstairs to get cleaned up, thinking how his little one had made him feel better in just a few minutes. “That girl,” he mumbled to himself, shaking his head.

The hot water felt so good on his muscles that he stood there letting the heat soak in for as long as he could.

_‘I’m going to have to try out their hot tub tonight. Sleeping in a recliner isn’t very good on my back,’_ he thought.

Once he’d finally finished, he stepped out and dried off, wrapping one towel around his waist and using the other to start drying his hair. He looked up into the mirror and decided that Luna was right--he definitely needed a shave. Grinning, he grabbed his razor to begin and that’s when he spotted it.

_‘What the…who did that?’_ Sugizo thought to himself, looking up toward the top of the mirror.

He looked to see that the door was still closed and giving the handle a push, was satisfied that it was still locked. But there it was, clear as day: a heart drawn in the steam on the mirror.

“Okay…” he said quietly, still thinking how strange it was, but carrying on with what he was doing. As the mirror cleared, the doodle disappeared and the guitarist thought no more about it.

Before going down for lunch, Sugizo called the security lead and told him that Luna and himself were going to have to go out and he’d like to have a couple from their team go with them. He wanted to meet them and also introduce Luna to them before going to court the following afternoon as they were coming with them to that as well.

Over lunch, Luna reminded her dad how few clothes she had to choose from and that she really didn’t have anything appropriate to wear to the hearing.

_‘Why do I feel like this is going to be a running theme? Papa, I don’t have anything to wear…’_ he thought with a grin.

“Okay, I guess we’ll have to go shopping _again_ then,” he told her. “A couple of our new security guards are coming with us though. They’re supposed to meet us here in…” he paused and looked at his watch, “…in about an hour, actually.”

“That’s gonna be weird being followed around all the time,” Luna said. “Especially at school.”

“Can’t be helped, Honey—at least not for now,” Sugizo told her. “Hopefully sometime after the hearing tomorrow you’ll be able to go to your mom’s house and get everything you want to bring to my place.”

“I won’t have to go alone, will I?” she asked, looking almost frightened.

He placed a hand on hers. “No, not at all. As a matter of fact, we’ll probably have a couple of police officers there so that we can go in and get your things and not worry about being bothered.”

“You’ll be with me?”

“Of course I will. You don’t think I’d let you do that without me, do ya?” her dad asked.

She smiled up at him. “No, I guess not. I’m just not real thrilled about seeing her again so soon. She’s not very happy with me, I’m sure.” She paused and then looked up at him. “Has she been terrible to you over this? I know you’ve talked to her at least a couple of times by now. Bet she’s been awful.”

He didn’t want to go into too much detail with her, but because of the hearing coming up, he wanted her to know at least some of what her mother had said and accused him of. He filled her in a little and she sat listening to him, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry, Papa…you’re having to deal with her because of me.”

Sugizo put an arm around his daughter and pulled her close. “Baby, she’s been this way for years. It’s not your fault. And honestly, to have you with me and know you’re safe, I’ll do whatever I have to do.” He kissed her forehead. “Now, let’s get ready to go. The guys will be here soon.”

________________

“Is this where we’re having dinner?” Luna asked, scoping out the exterior of a nice restaurant not too far from her dad’s apartment.

“Yep, if that’s okay, Princess,” he responded with a smile. She nodded enthusiastically.

Their driver/guard Kiyoshi, pulled into a parking spot near the door and the second guard, Hinata, got out and went inside to check the building out quickly before coming back out and opening the passenger side back door for Luna. Kiyoshi opened the other side for Sugizo and they all walked together into the restaurant, one guard in front and one behind. Father and daughter were seated first and the two security men took a table a short distance away, but close enough to act quickly should they be needed.

“See? It’s not too bad having them around. They’re not right up in our faces,” Sugizo said. “It’s pretty much like we have on tour—they’re around and close by, but other people have no idea they’re bodyguards.”

Luna nodded. “Yeah, it’s not as bad as I thought.”

They settled down to looking over the menu and chatting about lots of different things. Luna had been successful at finding a nice little dress and shoes to wear to the hearing the next day, so she felt a bit more confident about things.

“Oh by the way,” Sugizo started, changing the subject. “Did you happen to come in and draw a heart on my bathroom mirror while I was in the shower earlier?”

His daughter gave him a questioning look. “Huh? No…why?”

“Because it wasn’t there when I went in, but it was there when I got out of the shower. I just thought you might have done it as a surprise or something.”

“No, wasn’t me. And I know it wasn’t Tanaka-San either—don’t think she’d walk into your bathroom anyway,” Luna laughed. “That’s everyone that was in the house, too.”

Sugizo frowned. “That is so weird. I mean, it’s not a huge deal, but it is a mystery.”

“Definitely. But anyway, Uncle Heath is looking so much better! I’m so glad he likes the purple teddy bear we got him!” she said with a big grin. “When can he go home? He’s got to be sick of the hospital by now.”

“Don’t know yet. He’s still pretty weak, so I’d say it’ll be at least another few days. And even then, he’s going to need to be taken care of for a week or two, the doctor says. Heath is _not_ happy about that.”

“Who’s going to take care of him? Does he have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend?” she added, remembering that Heath was bi.

Sugizo was a bit surprised by the ‘boyfriend’ question. “No, he doesn’t. No sisters or brothers either. Wait, how’d you know he, uh, plays for both teams?”

“Papa…you told me, remember?”

“I did? Okay, I’ll take your word for that.” He wasn’t sure when he’d been discussing his friends’ sexual preferences with his teenage daughter, but he figured he must have—no one else would’ve said anything.

She looked worried. “So where’s he going then?”

“Well, we were thinking that he could stay with Toshi and Yoshi if he’d agree to do that. Heath hates to be any trouble to anyone, so I don’t know if he’ll want to stay there.”

“We could help take care of him, couldn’t we?” Luna asked.

“You’ll be back in school, Little Miss,” he said with a smile, happy knowing that she cared enough to want to help. “And anyway, I really wanted us to go back to my place this coming week. Now that we have security, we really need to get into a routine and get settled at the apartment.”

“Okay, we can do that. But…your apartment has three bedrooms. Couldn’t Uncle Heath use one of them for a while?”

Sugizo gave her a warm smile and shook his head. “You are undoubtedly one of the sweetest people I know. You wouldn’t mind having him there until he’s well?”

“Of course not. You two are pretty close, aren’t you? I mean, I can’t remember a time when Uncle Heath wasn’t around.”

“That’s true. We’ve been friends for a long time now,” he responded.

Their pleasant conversation was interrupted by the waitress coming around to take their orders and deliver drinks. Once she was gone, Luna looked at her dad and grinned. Tilting her head, she asked, “Have you and Uncle Heath ever dated?”

Sugizo, who was in the middle of taking a drink, nearly did a spit take at that blunt question.

“What??” he asked, wiping his mouth and looking at her in surprise.

“It’s a simple question. Have you and Heath ever dated? I think you’d make a fabulous couple!” Luna replied, her eyes alight.

He shook his head with a small smile. “No, we never have. Not that I haven’t thought about it, but it just hasn’t worked out.” He paused, wondering if he should ask the obvious next question. He decided she was old enough.

“So…I know you’re aware that I’m bi because we talked about this a while back. But if you’re going to be living with me, it changes things a bit. Are you okay with me being bi and possibly—at some point—getting into a relationship with another man?”

It was a valid question. There was no telling what Reina had told Luna about his preferences and such. He thought that he was going to have to have another uncomfortable talk with his daughter.

She thought about that for a few minutes. “As long as he’s good to you and he likes me, sure—I’m fine with it. That’s kind of why I mentioned Uncle Heath. He’s such a good guy and he and I get along really well.”

Sugizo chuckled. “Well, can’t promise anything…we’ll see.”

“What about Uncle Ryu? He’s not married,” she questioned.

Her dad was still laughing. “Are you going to play matchmaker for your old man?”

“Somebody needs to, it looks like. And you’re way too handsome to be alone.” She winked at him and took a drink.

“Well, look elsewhere from Ryu—he and I tried that. Didn’t work.”

“You did? When?” she asked.

“Years ago.”

“Hmmm…let’s see. Who else is single?” Luna pondered.

With a big smile, Sugizo pointed at her plate which had just arrived. “How about you concentrate on your dinner and stop worrying about my love life. We’ll talk about this later!” he chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think about the story so far! I'm always interested in what my readers are thinking! :)


	12. Chapter 12

Monday morning dawned clear and bright—a change from all of the gloomy rain they’d been having.

_‘Maybe this is a good omen,’_ Sugizo thought, looking out his bedroom window.

He wasn’t sure what this day would bring. He was half excited and half apprehensive. There was still every chance that the judge could take Reina’s side and force Luna to go back home with her. According to his lawyer though, that was unlikely, but it was still a possibility.

_‘If she’s forced to go back, it’s gonna be a bad scene. She’ll just run again,’_ he thought, looking in the closet for the suit he’d brought over to wear to the hearing.

_‘I have to be positive today, for Luna’s sake. If I get all stressed and wound up, she’s going to be the same way.’_

Going in for a quick shower, he couldn’t resist the temptation to check the mirror for any strangely appearing hearts.

“Nope, nothing this time,” he said to himself, still wondering what that was about the previous day.

Heading downstairs in something casual, he met up with Luna who was already working on getting ready for their important outing.

“Morning,” she said, sounding preoccupied.

“Morning, Sweetheart. Something wrong?” he asked, kissing her forehead.

“Just having issues with my hair. It won’t behave,” she replied, looking over at Tanaka-San who was chuckling and heading over to see if she could help.

“Ah, okay. If it’s not the clothes, it’s the hair. Typical girly problems.” He ducked, wondering when his daughter decided launching dish towels at his head was a thing.

“So what’s for breakfast?” he asked, getting out of range.

Before anyone could answer, Yoshiki came into the kitchen looking excited.

“Hey Sugi, did you get Pata’s text?” the blonde asked.

“No, left my phone upstairs. What’s up? Heath okay?” he asked. Pata had stayed with Heath overnight, so he assumed it had something to do with their bassist friend.

“The nurses are getting him up and walking this morning!”

“Oh? Is he strong enough for that yet?” Sugizo asked, a little concerned that the hospital might be pushing Heath a little too quickly.

“Pata says he did great for his first time. Didn’t walk very far, but anything is an improvement to him being stuck in bed all day.”

“That’s great! We’ll have to go up and see him later on after…after we get business taken care of,” he said, his voice tinged with worry.

Yoshiki took hold of his friend’s t-shirt and pulled at him to follow him out of the kitchen and earshot of the ladies.

“What’s the plan for today? Anything changed?” the blonde asked.

“No, just to the lawyer’s office and then to court. I’m just worried about everything, that’s all. She’s making all kinds of accusations and saying I kidnapped Luna and lots more bullshit. I just pray the judge doesn’t believe her ‘poor little pitiful me’ act, because that’s exactly what she’s gonna do.”

“From what I understand, the most weight will be placed on what the child says and since she’s old enough to decide, the judge should allow Luna to live with you regardless of what Reina says.”

“I know, but I’m sure she’s going to try to have me declared unfit. I’m just afraid if the judge does rule against me, that the old bitch will take Luna and run. And then I’ll have to hunt them down and probably kill her…” Sugizo said, dropping his head and sighing heavily.

“It won’t come to that,” Yoshiki said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re taking Ino and Takuro with you, right? And I’m still available if you think I can help in any way.”

“Yes, they both promised to show up today, but I’ll be texting them soon to remind them, don’t worry. And thank you, Yoshi—your support and help with everything so far has been amazing. I’m not sure I deserve you.”

Sugizo reached out and pulled him into a hug, holding onto him for a bit. Yoshiki rubbed his back, content to stay right there in his friend’s embrace for as long as he needed it.

_______________

The large, black SUV with tinted windows pulled up to the courthouse and stopped, engine still running, while Koki and Itsuki got out and scanned the surroundings, making sure the path was clear for Sugizo and Luna to exit the vehicle and enter the building. When they were satisfied, Koki returned to the car and, along with Hinata, escorted their clients directly into the building while Itsuki kept watch. Their driver, Hiroto, went to park the SUV in a secure location where he would keep an eye on the parking lot.

Sugizo and Luna entered the impressive glass doors hand in hand and walked over to where their lawyer and his assistants were standing waiting for them. Just then, the guitarist caught sight of two men he knew moving toward them. He waved Koki and Itsuki off, letting them know the men were friends.

“Well well well, don’t we clean up nicely?” Inoran said, smiling at his old friend. “And who’s your girlfriend here? I thought Luna was coming.”

The auburn-haired man chuckled and hugged his friend, thanking him for coming.

“This young lady is way too mature to be your daughter, don’t you think so?” he kiddingly asked, turning to another of Sugizo’s old friends.

“Absolutely! What’s your name, Beautiful?” Takuro asked with a smile.

“Uncle Ino, Uncle Taku…behave yourselves!” Luna said, tightly hugging each of them.

Sugizo had also stepped over to greet and thank his old friend Takuro. He turned and introduced them to his lawyer and the assistants while the guards stood by, keeping watch on the other people entering and leaving the building.

Luna did look quite nice in the little black dress that she and her dad had picked out for the occasion. With the black, low-heeled sandals and simple silver jewelry she had on, she actually did look a little older. Tanaka-San had helped her with a beautifully simple and appropriate hairstyle to go with her outfit.

“Oh Papa…you look fabulous!” she had exclaimed upon seeing him come downstairs back at Yoshiki and Toshi’s house. The suit was an attractive grey/blue color, double-breasted, and cut to fit his slender frame. He wore a crisp, white dress shirt and a narrow tie in a complimentary color for his suit. His long, auburn and black hair was pulled back into a ponytail at the base of his neck and the jewelry was kept to a minimum.

“You need to give me the name of your tailor, Sugi,” Takuro said, looking him up and down.

The guitarist grinned and winked. “I’ll do that. Just tell him I sent ya.”

Suddenly, Sugizo felt a pair of arms go around his waist as Luna pressed herself into him tightly. He glanced down to see her looking very tense all of a sudden.

“Mom…” was all she said as she looked over toward the far entrance door.

Her dad followed her gaze and spotted Reina along with three other people walking in their direction, Luna’s mother staring a hole through him.

“Papa, I don’t want to talk to her,” the girl said, still holding onto him.

“Get behind me,” he said in a low voice, guiding her around until she was standing behind her dad.

Inoran and Takuro had recognized Reina as well and now they stepped up to help shield Luna. The guards had also moved closer, reading the tense body language of the group.

“Yune,” she said sharply.

“Reina,” he said just as sharply.

“Luna, honey…come out and speak to your mom,” Reina said to the girl who was still hiding behind her dad and ‘uncles’.

“She doesn’t want to see you right now, Reina. You can see her in the courtroom,” Sugizo said coldly.

They could see the anger building as the expression on her face changed.

“What have you been telling her? Why would she suddenly not want to see me?” the woman asked.

Sugizo stood there stoically, staring into her face, not saying a word.

“I can’t believe you’re actually trying this! You are _no one’s_ idea of a father—you’re just trying to get more attention. You selfish, egotistical, whore!” She spat the words at him, inching closer as she did. Kiko stepped in and put an arm in between her and Sugizo.

“Okay, that’s enough. Ma’am, you need to step back,” he told her.

The snarl was beginning to become visible on Sugizo’s face as he continued staring a hole through her when Reina was pulled back by her lawyer and removed to a different part of the building to wait for the hearing to start.

Once she was several yards away, he turned around to Luna who was visibly shaken.

“It’s okay, baby…she’s gone,” he said and pulled her into a hug.

“And _that_ thinks it’s a better parent than Sugi? What a joke,” Takuro said, sounding angry that Luna had to be subjected to confrontations like that.

“We should probably thank her for showing what she’s really like to a building full of witnesses,” Inoran wisely said.

Sugizo’s lawyer gave Inoran a nod at that comment. “Not doing herself any favors, that’s for sure,” he said.

Not very long after, they were all called into the courtroom for the hearing to begin. Luna’s dad walked in with his arm around his daughter, a confident look on his face, but inside his stomach was in knots.

_______________

“Thank you so much for coming and helping me out, brother,” Sugizo said to Takuro, hugging him just outside the courtroom. “And you too, brother,” he told Inoran, hugging him as well. “I love you guys, you know that?”

“He’s getting touchy-feely again, Ino. We better get outta here,” Takuro said with a big smile.

“Yeah, next thing you know he’ll be inviting us out for drinks or something…” Inoran replied, a sly smile on his lips.

Sugizo laughed. “Alright, smartasses—as soon as I get everything settled and back at home, I’ll throw a big drinks party, okay?”

“Just let us know when! And congratulations, ‘Papa’! Been way overdue!” Inoran exclaimed, hugging Luna again.

Takuro stepped over and gave the girl a hug as well. “You take care of that old man of yours, okay? He’s a good one.”

She nodded and smiled at him and then latched onto her dad again. Looking up at him, she asked, “Can we go for coffee and then visit Uncle Heath?”

Inoran shook his head. “They grow up so fast.” He and Takuro shared a laugh and then headed for the exit doors together, chatting as they walked.

Sugizo’s lawyer came over and shook his client’s hand and then did the same with Luna. “Congratulations, Sugihara-San. Well done! That’s the first hurdle over and done with—I’ll be in touch when we need to start talking about the final hearing.”

The auburn-haired man bowed to the man and then shook his hand again. “Thank you so much for your help. This means the world to me and Luna.”

Once all the niceties were covered, Sugizo and Luna turned and started heading for the doors, flanked by their security. The sound of a woman loudly crying was heard behind them and Luna turned to see her mom coming out of the courtroom, being held by her friend. The girl watched for a moment and then looked up at her dad, a sad look on her face.

“Papa…” is all she could get out.

“Luna, come on, baby. It’s all an act. Don’t let her get to you,” Sugizo responded, urging her toward the doors. “Let’s go get that coffee and see Hi-Chan, huh?”

_______________

“Knock-knock,” Sugizo said, slowly opening the door to Heath’s room. “Anybody home?”

He walked into the room with a wide smile, Luna following closely behind. This time it was Hinata and Hiroto who accompanied the pair into the building and they stood waiting out in the hallway while Sugizo and Luna visited their friend.

“Oh, hi there! I got your text! Congratulations!” Yoshiki said to his younger guitarist, wrapping him in a big hug. “And to you too, Ma’am,” the blonde told Luna, hugging her as well.

“Yes, congratulations, Sugi!” said the unmistakable voice of Sakurai, who had come up to visit Heath. “And this must be Luna—I haven’t seen her in a long time.”

“Luna, do you remember Acchan?” Sugizo asked. She shook her head ‘no’. “Well, this is our friend, Sakurai—everyone calls him Acchan. Acchan, this is my daughter Luna.”

“Nice to meet you.” The girl bowed slightly to him and extended her hand, which to her surprise, Acchan took and lightly kissed. “A pleasure, my dear.”

The girl giggled and looked up at her dad, cheeks blushing. She then turned and moved over to the bed, giving Heath a big hug. Her dad soon did the same.

“Don’t you both look nice!” the bassist said in a low voice. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you! It was nerve-wracking, but over fairly quickly. And the first thing she wanted to do was come visit Uncle Heath,” Sugizo told his friend.

They chatted for a bit, telling the bassist about Inoran and Takuro coming to act as character witnesses, and also about Reina’s outburst before even going into the courtroom. Heath shook his head in disapproval.

As the two of them continued to chat with him, Sugizo began to notice the sideways glances he was getting from their tall, dark friend. He eventually walked back over to the other two men and joined in their conversation.

“Yeah, Sugi here just hired personal security for himself and Luna. Didn’t they go with you today?” Yoshiki asked.

“Definitely. Two of them are actually right out in the hallway now. I didn’t like the idea at first, but unfortunately it’s necessary right now.”

“We need a different company for our next tour. I don’t like the people we’ve been using,” Acchan said, shaking his head.

“So far, I like these guys. They’re all young and fit and seem to be well-trained,” Sugizo replied.

“Same firm we’ve used for the last couple of tours and I hire a few for personal security when I need them. Been very happy so far,” Yoshiki reported.

They continued to chat a bit until Sugizo suddenly said, “Yoshi, can you stay with Luna for just a few minutes? I need to talk with Acchan about something.”

The blonde looked a bit surprised, but nodded. Sugizo told Luna and Heath that he’d be right back and proceeded out of the room followed closely by Sakurai.

“Hey guys, Acchan and I are going to just walk down the hallway a bit, okay? Not too far—you can stay here,” the auburn-haired man told his two bodyguards. They nodded and bowed slightly, obviously recognizing their client’s friend.

Sugizo and Sakurai strolled down the hallway, waiting to get out of earshot before saying anything significant. Once they were a few yards away, the guitarist started talking.

“Surprised to see you up here. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“It was kind of a spur of the moment thing, to be honest. I was talking to Yo-Chan on the phone about studio time and he mentioned that he was coming up here. Asked if I wanted to meet him to visit Heath,” the dark man replied.

“It’s good to see you, it’s been a while,” Sugizo said, his voice warm and just a bit sultry.

“Same here. Why haven’t you called lately?”

“Oh, just been busy—you know how that goes. We’ve been recording but then this thing with Heath happened…a week ago now. And then Luna showed up on Wednesday out of the blue…it’s been a whirlwind.”

“So she’s going to be living with you permanently now, huh?” Sakurai asked.

“Yes, and I’m quite happy about that, actually. She already has a bedroom at my apartment, so that won’t really be a change. School every day and having her around all the time will be different, but I’m looking forward to it. She’s a sweet girl,” he said with a warm smile.

“It’s good to see you happy. I’m sure everything will work out well,” Acchan said and paused. “You know, if you have any free time while she’s in school…” he said in a low voice and gave the man a suggestive smile.

Sugizo met him with a similar smile. “Oh yeah, you’ll be the first to know…”

“I meant to tell you—you look amazing in that suit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite like this.”

The guitarist chuckled. “Yeah, you’re not used to seeing me so completely covered, are ya?” he said with a wink.

“Nope. And you do look good like this, but…I prefer to be able to get at your neck,” Acchan whispered, his voice deep and warm.

“I’m glad you said that,” Sugizo turned and looked back down the deserted hallway and then grabbed Sakurai’s hand and pulled him into the single stall bathroom, locking the door behind him. It was clear he’d been planning this.

“You little minx,” Acchan said with a laugh.

“Can’t help it…been too long,” Sugizo whispered, a lusty grin on his face.

He was already pulling at his tie, loosening it so that he could unbutton his shirt. Sakurai was in the process of working the buttons on Sugizo’s suit jacket, all the while capturing those soft lips with his own.

They were the perfect size for each other, the guitarist being slightly shorter and smaller—he fit perfectly against his lover’s chest as hands began to pull at clothing, trying to find bare, warm skin.

Their mouths had parted temporarily while Acchan relieved Sugizo of his jacket, reaching over to hang it on a convenient hook on the back of the door. “Too nice to drop on the floor,” he said, the corners of his mouth curled up in a lustful grin of his own.

The auburn-haired man’s hands had found the warmth they were looking for and now one traveled slowly up the back of Sakurai’s shirt while the other skimmed the waistband of his trousers, going lower and lower as the moments passed.

“I’ve missed you,” Sugizo whispered, his hot breath warming Acchan’s neck as he spoke.

“Mmmmm…I’ve missed you too…it’s been too long,” the other man said as he gently caressed Sugizo’s face and neck.

As the guitarist’s mouth moved lower onto Sakurai’s chest, the darker man slipped his hands around and grasped the round globes of the man’s ass, pulling their bodies closer together as he started to grind against him.

Sugizo’s head fell back, breathing harder and Acchan took the opportunity to go for the man’s neck, nibbling and suckling until the sweetest little moans were heard coming from his lover.

“I need you, Acchan…it has to be soon,” Sugizo managed to get out while grinding harder against the taller man.

“Mmm hmmm…very soon,” he replied. “Sometime this week…please…”

“Yeah, I’ll make it work…” the guitarist said between quiet moans.

“God, you make the prettiest noises…I need to make you scream my name,” Sakurai whispered, pushing Sugizo harder into the wall.

“You’ve never had any trouble before,” Sugizo quipped, causing a deep, throaty laugh to come from Acchan.

“And I won’t this time either…”

After a few more passionate moments, Sugizo realized how long they’d been gone.

“Ahhhh, we gotta stop,” the auburn-haired man said, breathing hard. “They’re gonna come looking for us.”

Acchan nodded and stilled his hips, taking Sugizo’s face in his hands and kissing him hard. “Keep that in mind until we meet up…” he said, pushing himself off of his lover and giving him a wicked smile.

The other man stayed against the wall for a minute breathing deep with his eyes closed, trying to will himself to calm down. After a couple of minutes, he was able to redress and straighten himself up, hoping that it wasn’t immediately evident what he’d been up to. He couldn’t resist, though, claiming Sakurai’s shapely lips one more time before they left the bathroom.

“Damn, I love your mouth…” the guitarist said, placing a few more quick, small kisses on Acchan’s rosy lips.

“And I love your mouth on me…this week, Sugi…don’t make me come looking for you,” Sakurai said, turning the lock and opening the door.

“There you two are,” Yoshiki said when they reentered Heath’s room. “I was beginning to wonder.” He gave them questioning looks, but neither was very forthcoming at the moment.

“Just talking, no big deal. Business…you know,” the guitarist offered.

Heath looked closely at Sugizo and then Sakurai, immediately figuring out what had been going on. He grinned behind his mask, glad the others couldn’t see his entire face at the moment.

_‘Good for him,’_ he thought, glad that his good friend had someone to help him relieve some stress.

After visiting for a while longer, they all decided that they’d better get going. Luna was supposed to return to school the next day, so Sugizo wanted to make sure she was settled and rested before that happened.

“Toshi will be up to stay with you tonight, okay?” Yoshiki told Heath, gathering his jacket and things. The bassist nodded, settling back to get some sleep. His strength was slowly returning, but he had to rest most of the day.

________________

Sitting in the living room with Yoshiki, drink in hand, Sugizo was trying to unwind from the day, but he wasn’t having it easy. Too much was running through his mind for him to truly relax—he was attempting to siphon off some of it by scratching notes on a pad while he chatted with his friend.

“A lot on your mind, huh?” the blonde asked, coming over to refill the guitarist’s glass while he was up.

“Oh yeah…mostly having to do with Luna in one way or another. Just lots of details, ya know?”

Yoshiki nodded. He had thought of maybe bringing up the subject of Hide while it was just the two of them, but thought better of it when he saw how tired Sugizo was.

_‘It’s waited this long, it’ll keep a while longer.’_

“So, are you working with Buck-Tick on something?” Yoshiki asked casually.

_‘I knew this was coming,’_ Sugizo thought to himself.

“Talking about it. Violin parts for a couple of new songs,” he fibbed, not wanting to get into a long conversation about how he should be careful about Sakurai. He knew it would come if he let anything slip about there being something between himself and the tall, dark, vocalist.

He had already gotten a talking to from a couple of his Luna bandmates when they accidentally found out and he didn’t need it from Yoshiki and possibly Toshi as well. Not that Sakurai was a bad person or anything, but he did have a definite reputation. He remembered the brief conversation with Ryu very clearly.

“Sugi…be careful with that one. Acchan is known to be pretty rough and, well frankly, kinky as fuck,” Ryu had said at the time.

“I’m aware of that, Ryu, but you don’t need to worry. If you remember, I’m the same way,” Sugizo had told him with a gleam in his eye.

Ryu did remember and it made him uncomfortable even years later. “Okay, okay…just watch out, that’s all.”

The fact that they had hooked up at a party made things look even worse to his friends, but he reasoned that he was an adult, he knew what he was doing, and neither of them were in a relationship at the time, so where was the harm he thought.

“Acchan called me about studio time this morning, that’s how he ended up at the hospital with me in the first place,” Yoshiki said.

“Yeah, that’s what he told me. As soon as I get settled down again, I’m going to start writing something. I have a few ideas already.”

“Papa…” came a small voice from the doorway.

Sugizo turned to see Luna standing there in her nightgown, clutching her stuffed dog that her dad had brought over from his place for her.

“What’s wrong, baby? Can’t sleep?” he asked, motioning for her to come over and sit with him on the sofa.

She shook her head ‘no’ and curled up next to her dad.

“Uncle Yoshi?” she said in a small voice.

“Yes, Honey? What is it?” the blonde asked, leaning forward in his seat.

“There’s a good alarm system on this big house, right? I mean, no one could come in and get me while I’m sleeping, could they?” she asked, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

Sugizo immediately put his drink down and pulled her into his lap.

“No, Baby!” the two men said almost simultaneously.

Her dad hugged her close while her ‘uncle’ explained.

“Sweetheart, look at me,” he waited for her to meet his gaze. “No one—and I mean _no one_ —could get in here to take you. Don’t you worry about that.”

“And my place is just as secure,” Sugizo told her. “You trust me to keep you safe, don’t you?” he asked, looking into her eyes.

“Uh huh. I guess I’m just worried about what mom might do. She was terribly mad at you today at the courthouse,” she answered.

“I know, but that’s why we have security right now, Baby. You’re safe, I promise.” He pulled her tighter against him and kissed her head. It hurt him to see her seemingly afraid for her safety.

“Your Papa wouldn’t let anything happen to you, Luna. He loves you more than anything. You know that, right?” Yoshiki asked her.

She nodded. “And I love him more than anything. I guess I’m just nervous. Mom was soooo mad, Uncle Yoshi. You should’ve seen her. I’m afraid she might try to hurt you,” Luna said, looking up into Sugizo’s face.

“And that’s why I have personal security for myself as well right now. Listen, you know how my apartment building works—you have to be allowed upstairs by the doorman if you don’t live there. Plus, there are alarms on the doors. We’re safe there, Sweetheart,” he said, kissing her again. “Now come on, let’s see if we can get you to settle down and get some sleep.”

After draining his glass, he stood and followed her upstairs after wishing Yoshiki a good night. He went into her room with her, tucking her in bed and sitting with her, just chatting for a bit. Once she started getting sleepy again, Sugizo told her goodnight and kissed her again, heading back to his room to take a hot shower in hopes of relaxing a little more himself.

_‘Hmm…no heart again tonight…’_ he thought, unable to keep himself from checking that area of the mirror when he had finished.

Once in bed, he fell asleep rather quickly, owing to the hot shower and dark, quiet room. Sometime in the small hours of the morning though, he was awoken by Luna’s voice screaming. He couldn’t make out what she was saying, but that didn’t matter. He jumped from his bed and moved as quickly as his half-asleep body would allow him.

Yoshiki had heard her as well and he was just coming out of the master bedroom when Sugizo got to the door of his daughter’s room.

“Luna?” he said, opening the door and entering the dark bedroom. “Honey, what’s wrong?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed and putting a hand on her trembling figure.

“Papa…are…are…you okay?!” she stammered, her voice thick with emotion.

“Yes, Doll—I’m fine. What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?” he asked, leaning forward and pulling her into a hug.

“She okay?” Yoshiki asked from the doorway, not wanting to intrude but understandably concerned.

“Yeah, she’s okay. Just a nightmare,” Sugizo said. “Sorry.”

“No, no…I wasn’t asleep anyway. As long as she’s alright.”

“Yeah, I think she’s okay.” He caressed her cheek and pushed her hair back. “Luna?”

She nodded. “Bad dream…” was all she could say, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down.

“You’re safe, Honey. Nothing to worry about,” he said, holding her and gently rocking back and forth.

Yoshiki hated the fact that the child was having nightmares, but there was something about seeing his good friend in his fatherly role that just made him smile. Sugizo was the only one in the band who had any children. As a matter of fact, very few of Yoshiki’s friends had kids, so it was a rare sight.

“Anything I can do? Think some warm tea would help?” the blonde asked.

“Want Yoshi to get you some tea, Baby?” Sugizo asked, still holding onto her.

“Uh huh,” Luna said quietly, nodding against her dad’s chest.

He turned back toward his friend. “Please…and thank you. Sorry to be trouble.”

“No trouble at all—be right back,” Yoshiki replied, leaving the door open and heading toward the kitchen.

“Wanna talk about it?” the man asked his daughter. “Might help.”

Luna sat quietly for a moment. “I don’t know…” she said and then paused. “Well, I just remember being in your car with you and when we stopped, men came up and jerked open the doors and then pulled us out. They were dragging me to their car and you were trying to fight them off…they started beating you. One was holding your arms and the other was hitting you over and over…” She stopped and took a shuddering breath. “I guess that’s when I started screaming.”

“Well, it was just a dream—I’m okay, you’re okay. Our security isn’t going to let anything like that happen, so don’t you worry.”

He looked over at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was 2:30am.

“Let’s keep you home from school for one more day, okay? You can hang out with your old man all day and you’ll feel better,” Sugizo said, giving Luna another hug. “That sound alright?”

She nodded and giggled. “Old man…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is safe and healthy--please take care of yourselves! Please leave a comment and let me hear from you! 
> 
> Did you know I have two other stories going at the moment?! "Pink Hair & Coffee Beans" and a brand new one, "Family Is What You Make It"! Please check them out and leave some feedback--I'd love to hear from you! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello from Quarantine Land! I hope everyone is safe and well! I have a nice looong chapter for you here to keep you busy--hope you'll leave some comments for me at the end! Don't forget my other stories! :)

Sitting around the breakfast table on Tuesday morning, Sugizo and Luna talked about what they were planning to do that day.

“School was understanding about you waiting until tomorrow to start back,” the auburn-haired man said. “Why don’t we go to my place and start getting things arranged for you to live there with me full-time?” he asked, a warm smile crossing his face. This ‘full-time’ parenting thing was going to take some getting used to, but he was excited about it.

“Sounds good to me,” Luna replied, sounding a bit subdued. “Will we be okay, you think?” she asked without looking up to meet his gaze.

The nightmare she’d had really rattled her—to the point that her dad stayed and slept the rest of the night with her so that she would feel safe enough to get some rest.

“Yes, we’ll be just fine, Honey. I’m going to call our security guys right after breakfast and have them come and take us. They’ll stay as long as we need them—that’s what I’m paying them for,” Sugizo said, trying to reassure her.

She nodded. “Okay, then. And can we fix up the spare room for Uncle Heath?”

“If he’ll agree to come over, sure. I’d love to have him there!”

He noticed the expectant look on her face and knew what it meant.

“Okay, okay…I’ll call him right after I call the security guys, cool?” He gave her a grin.

“Yeah, that’s cool,” she said with a chuckle.

_‘Oh god, I forgot what it’s like to live with a woman…’_ he thought, laughing to himself.

“Heath?” Sugizo asked, not quite recognizing the voice on the other end of the line.

“No, it’s me,” Toshi said, having answered Heath’s phone when he saw who was calling. “Heath’s being escorted down the hallway by his girlfriends at the moment.”

The guitarist chuckled. “Oh, the nurses making him walk again, huh?”

“Well, yeah, I guess so—I like it better my way though,” Toshi laughed. “What’s up?”

“Any word on when His Royal Highness can come home? Only it’s just that a certain young lady is wanting her Uncle Heath to come to our place to recover and she’s being pretty persistent.”

“Oh she is, is she? Well, the doctor hasn’t been around yet this morning, but hopefully he’ll have some good news today,” Toshi responded.

“Call me if you hear anything, okay? I’m taking Luna over to my place to start arranging things for her.”

“Will do. So you’re changing the place from a bachelor’s pad to a family home, huh? That’ll take some doing. But do you have enough room for both of you _and_ Heath?” the vocalist asked.

“Oh yeah, I’ve got that extra bedroom that I only use for guests. Admittedly, I store some guitars and equipment in there, but that won’t be hard to move,” Sugizo replied.

Toshi promised to let him know as soon as he heard anything, so the auburn-haired man returned to the task at hand—making a suitable family home out of his condo. The lawyer had advised him that the authorities would be making home inspections to ensure that Luna had a safe, happy home environment. So while his daughter didn’t mind the artistic, tasteful nudes on the wall and she’d never touch the drinks cabinet, Sugizo didn’t think that Child Welfare would approve.

_‘Change out the art and lock up the booze—definitely on the list. Better take care of some of those ‘recreational’ items in my closet as well,’_ he thought. _‘Wonder if they’ll look in nightstand drawers…’_

Along with their driver, Koki, and one other guard, Itsuki, Sugizo and Luna travelled to the guitarist’s condo to start work. It was also a good time for the guards to learn where the Sugiharas were going to be living and they could be introduced to the concierge and doorman. He also asked them to look the place over to see if they noticed any glaring security risks.

“Should I just make a list of the things I need, Papa?” Luna asked, leaning out the doorway of her bedroom.

“List? Is there enough for a list?” her dad asked, turning away from what he was doing in the spare bedroom.

“Well…kinda, yeah. I definitely need a desk for one thing. And are we going to bring my computer over from Mom’s?” she asked, walking over to where he was to keep from yelling across the house.

Sugizo thought about that for a moment. His plan concerning his ex was to have as little contact as possible, so taking a computer out of her house might not be the best way to achieve that, he thought.

“Tell you what—let’s just go ahead and get you a brand new, up to date computer. You’re probably going to need one for the upper grades in school anyway. You can get what you need off of your old one when we go to get your things from your mom’s.”

“She won’t be there, will she? I mean…I’m not really scared of her or anything…not exactly…but I don’t want you and her to get into an argument,” she responded, trying to sound confident but her dad wasn’t buying it.

The confrontation at the courthouse had definitely made an impression on the young girl, though she knew it could’ve been much worse if her dad hadn’t kept his composure like he did. And then there was that nightmare that she couldn’t seem to get out of her mind.

“No, Honey—she won’t be allowed to be anywhere near the house when we go to get your things. It’ll be set up with the police who will be there to make sure everything goes smoothly. Don’t worry about that, okay?” Sugizo responded. It was then that his phone started ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hey, so I’ve just spoken with the doctor. He said that if everything remains stable, Heath can go home Thursday morning—but he has to have someone with him at all times for the next two weeks,” Toshi informed the guitarist.

“Oh? That’s good news! How is he feeling about it?” Sugizo asked.

“Here, talk to him,” the vocalist said with a chuckle and handed his phone to Heath.

“Hey Sugi,” the bassist said quietly, his voice sounding more like it was supposed to.

“Heath…good to hear your voice! So you’re getting paroled in a couple of days Toshi was saying.”

“Yeah, the doctor says I can go home, but I have to have a babysitter for a couple of weeks. Not really happy about that, but I guess it’s for the best. Don’t want to end up back here again.”

“No, definitely not. So listen…I don’t know what you had in mind, but Luna and I would absolutely love to have you here at our place for a while. At least for those two weeks anyway. What do ya think?”

“That’s very kind of you both…but I know you’re busy getting her settled in and everything. You don’t need to have to deal with me too,” Heath answered.

“Brother, you won’t be any trouble at all. I have a spare room, ya know, and I’m going to be sticking close to home for the next little bit anyway getting Luna settled into her new routine. I’d love to have you here with me,” he said in his soft, kind voice.

“Are you sure you’re ready to take care of an invalid? I’ll have doctors’ appointments and stuff too--I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Hi-Chan…stop it. Do I need to remind you of a broken hand incident several years ago when you gave a homeless me somewhere to stay? Have you forgotten about that cause I certainly haven’t,” Sugizo asked his friend.

“’Zo…you don’t owe me for that,” Heath said quietly.

“Like hell I don’t! Listen, you probably saved my career that night and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to help you out when you need it, okay? So let’s just settle this—you’re coming to stay with me until you’re strong enough to take care of yourself. Now, Babygirl and I will be up to see you later today—anything you need?”

The bassist just smiled at his friend’s mini rant. “Yeah, a thick chocolate milkshake would be amazing. Think you can find a good one?”

“You just leave it to me…I’ll see you in a bit,” the guitarist responded and then hung up.

Heath chuckled and handed the phone back to Toshi who was sitting there on the edge of the bed looking bemused.

“You’re going to Sugi’s, I take it.”

“I’m going to Sugi’s,” Heath responded, sounding resigned to his fate.

Toshi couldn’t help but notice the slight smile on his friend’s face. He had also noticed the little nickname that Heath had called their guitarist friend that he wasn’t sure he’d heard many people use.

_‘Safe to say there’s more here than we’ve known about…interesting…’_

_______________

“Papa…we need to go! Quit primping, you look fine,” Luna called to her dad who was still in his bathroom.

“Coming!” he called back, finally walking out of his room. “I had to make sure I looked decent—I’m not used to being up this early!” Sugizo said with a laugh. He followed that with a yawn.

“The guys have been here waiting on you,” she said, handing him a travel mug of coffee which he promptly took a sip of.

“Mmm…just right. Thank you, Baby.”

He then turned to the four security men who were waiting in his kitchen. “Sorry to keep you all waiting. I’m a bit nervous about this thing with the school.”

“As long as you have the paperwork with you, it’ll be fine,” Itsuki offered. “I’ve been along in a couple of these situations before and it goes fine as long as you’ve got documentation.”

“Got the folder right here,” the guitarist said, opening it on the kitchen counter. “Police report and court order.”

“We’ll all go in and introduce ourselves to the school officials and Koki will stay with Luna until lunchtime. Umm…which of you are coming in at noon?” Hinata asked. “I’m driving today.”

“I am,” Yuki responded.

“Good. So Luna, you’ll have Koki here until lunchtime and then Yuki will be with you until you come home, okay?” Hinata told her, making sure she had a chance to put names with faces. “I’ll pick you both up.”

“Okay, that’s fine. But we better get going,” she said, checking the time on her phone which had been returned to her, but she was under strict instructions not to communicate with her mother just yet or to answer any calls or messages from numbers she didn’t recognize. Dad would be keeping an eye on her call history for a while.

Pulling up to the school and parking, all six of them piled out of the big, black SUV and walked toward the front doors of the school, Itsuki in the lead. He pulled the door open and let Sugizo and Luna enter first, but followed close behind with Koki, Yuki, and Hinata just behind him.

“Do we have to have such an entourage? It’s kinda embarrassing,” Luna whispered to her dad as they walked toward the main office.

“It’s just for today. After this, it’ll only be you and one of them,” her dad assured her.

“At least they’re dressed more like teachers instead of the freakin’ Secret Service,” she replied.

“Luna?” a voice said from close by. “I thought that was you,” the girl said as she and one other approached. They turned out to be Yuma and Mei whom they’d met at the mall a few days ago.

“Hi!” Luna said brightly, obviously happy to see her friends. She gave them both quick hugs.

“Hello, Sugizo-San—nice to see you again,” Mei said, giving him a small bow. Yuma did the same.

“Hi, girls. We’re going to check in with the office and then you all can catch up, okay?” Sugizo explained.

“Yes sir,” Yuma said as Mei nodded.

The auburn-haired man walked into the main office with his daughter, introduced himself, and asked to speak with the Principal and Luna’s counselor. Once they arrived, a short meeting was held in the Principal’s office during which Sugizo told them in no uncertain terms how things were going to go regarding Luna having a guard with her at all times during the day and that her mother was to have no contact with her through or at the school.

The two school officials sat and listened to him and then the Principal looked at Sugizo rather seriously.

“Okay, I understand what you’re telling me, but we do have some fine points that need clarification,” he said.

“Understandable. Can we let Luna go on to class while we work out the details?” her dad asked, not really wanting her to be present if this so far civil meeting took a turn.

“Absolutely,” the Principal said, smiling at Luna. “You go ahead and rejoin your friends—I know you must’ve missed them over the last week.”

Sugizo wondered if that was a shot at him for keeping her out of school for as long as he did, but decided to wait until she left to get any clarification.

“Baby, you go on to class. Remember, Koki is staying until lunch and then Yuki will come in. Hinata will drive you home and I might be with him when he picks you up—depends on how dirty I am from rearranging the house,” he said with a smile, trying to help her feel more at ease.

“Okay, Papa. See you later—love you!” she said with a big smile as she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She bowed to her Principal and Counselor and then let herself out of the office to rejoin Yuma and Mei.

Sugizo watched her go and then turned back to the two school officials.

“Okay, she’s gone. Now, let’s get down to business. Here are the police report and court order giving me full temporary custody until the final hearing. I’d like you to please make as many copies of those as you think you might need—I don’t want any slip-ups because someone claims they didn’t know. I will also be glad to provide you with contact names and phone numbers if there’s anything you need to clarify.”

“One thing I’d like to ask, if I may,” the Counselor said, looking at Luna’s father rather seriously. She paused for a moment, seemingly trying to decide how to word her question.

“Luna has been a student here for several years now and I’ve personally met with her mother many times over that period. Not once has she ever given me the slightest indication of being a danger to your daughter or that she didn’t have her best interests at heart. When did all of that suddenly change?”

Sugizo tilted his head and looked at her calmly. “Did you ever ask her where Luna’s father was? Why I wasn’t involved in Luna’s schooling?”

“Yes, I do remember having a short conversation with her regarding you, as a matter of fact,” the Counselor said.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh please…tell me what she said. I can probably guess, but humor me.”

“Well…best I can recall, she said that you were never home and that it’d been so long since you’d taken an interest in Luna’s life, that she didn’t bother to invite you to school functions anymore,” she said, a bit of a terse tone in her voice.

The guitarist laughed out loud. “Now, you want to hear the truth? Yes, I am out of town and sometimes out of the country for a few weeks at a time, but that maybe accounts for two months out of a year. Most times I’m right here—writing, recording, producing, acting, something like that. We’re old guys—both of my bands—we don’t tour endlessly anymore like the 20-somethings.”

With that, the Principal let out a chuckle. “I’m familiar with both of your bands and if you’re old, then I am too…so let’s go easy with that word.”

Sugizo gave him a smile. “Okay, agreed. How about ‘mature’ then?”

“That’ll work. Please continue,” he said, a smile still on his face.

“Reina, Luna’s mom, detests me, to put it succinctly. We separated when Luna was barely a year old and she has made it difficult for me to see my daughter ever since. She has trash talked me to Luna for that girl’s entire life. Almost succeeded in turning her against me once when she was about 10, but luckily I was able to get Luna to listen to me and I proved to her that the things her mother was saying were lies. Well, that continues to this day. Consequently, Luna has gotten to the point that she doesn’t want to live with her mom any longer and I can’t say that I blame her. And yes, before you ask, I have tried to get custody of Luna before this, but because of my occupation, the court didn’t think I could provide a proper homelife for her.”

“And what has changed now, if you don’t mind the question,” the Principal asked. The Counselor nodded and waited to hear the answer.

“Well, for one thing, Luna is older now, so she doesn’t require the same supervision that say a 10-year-old does. Secondly, I’m at a point in my career that I can do pretty much whatever I need to. If I need to stop touring and stay home with her, then I can and will. Barring some terrible unforeseen incident, I’m financially set for the rest of my life, so I can devote all of my time to my daughter if she requires it. Lastly, Luna is now old enough to decide where she wants to live and she has chosen to come live with me. Believe me when I say that I am over the moon about it—I know there’s going to be a learning curve, but I’m fine with that. She’s my world and I’d do anything for her.”

“Okay, I’ll accept that—you seem quite sincere enough. My question is, what prompted the change now? It seems to have been an emergency situation,” the Principal asked, tapping the police report that lay in front of him.

Sugizo related the story of how he had called Luna to let her know about Heath and even though he had promised to pick her up on Friday and take her to the hospital, the girl had taken it upon herself to make her way up there to be with him.

“So of course, Reina swore up and down that I had talked Luna into it and that the whole thing had been my idea, blah, blah, blah. I expected that from her. What I didn’t expect was her promising me that she would ‘fix it’ so I couldn’t see Luna anymore and that, if necessary, she would take my daughter away so that I couldn’t find them. That I was an attention-seeking whore that didn’t deserve a child.” He paused and tried to contain the anger that was welling up inside him.

When he’d taken a few deep breaths, he continued. “She can call me all the names she wants to—heaven knows she’s called me everything in the book in the last 14 years. But when you threaten to take my only child away so that I don’t know where she is and if she’s safe or not….no. That’s over the line. And yes, she was serious—I could tell. So I had no choice but to call my lawyer for advice and he told me to take Luna to the nearest police precinct and file a report stating that I was taking emergency custody of my daughter and why—so that’s what I did.”

“And you obviously believe that she would’ve made good on her threat,” the Counselor stated.

“Ma’am, I wouldn’t put anything past Reina. You want to know what finally made me leave her?” He raised and flexed his left hand so that they could see. “She purposely shattered my left hand while we were arguing one night. Slammed a heavy cabinet door on it as hard as she possibly could. Then she told me she’d take a hammer to my right hand. That’s when I got out. I had put up with her temper and her hitting me since way before Luna was born, but at that point…I couldn’t take anymore. Thank goodness I had a good friend who insisted that I go to the hospital that very night. Could’ve ended my entire career right there. As it is, I’m developing arthritis in it, but at least I’ve had many good years up to this point. So you see…anything is possible with that woman. I’ve always kept a very close eye on Luna to see if I see bruises or anything on her and thank goodness I haven’t, but now that she’s a sassy teenager, I wouldn’t be surprised if Reina didn’t start smacking her around like she used to do me.”

He finished up by telling them that he really wanted to keep Luna there at the school where she was comfortable, with her friends, etc., but he had to know she’d be safe. It was within his means to hire tutors for her or move her to a private school, but he really didn’t want to disrupt this part of her life with everything else changing. They assured him that they would work with him and their main objective was to keep Luna safe as well.

After handling a few more details like introducing the security guys to the Principal and Counselor and getting badges for them, Sugizo asked the Principal to show him where Luna’s class was. He wanted to take a moment and make sure she was doing okay on her first day back as well as see what arrangement had been made for Koki in the actual classroom.

They walked down the hallway together followed by Hinata at a respectful distance.

“It’s really good to finally meet you, Sugihara-San. Rest assured that the information you gave us in my office will be kept in the strictest of confidence,” the Principal said.

“Thank you, I really appreciate that. I’m not so sure that Luna’s counselor likes me very much though. But that’s okay—as long as my daughter is safe, that’s all I’m concerned with,” he said. “Oh, and please, call me Sugizo—everyone does. Sugihara-San is too formal—that’s my father,” he finished with a chuckle.

The Principal laughed at that. “Okay, I can do that. It’ll have to be ‘Sugizo-San’ in front of the children though. Can’t expect them to do things we don’t.”

Once Sugizo saw that Luna was doing fine and that Koki was there in the room with her—albeit at the back of the room with the Teacher’s Assistant—he was satisfied enough to leave her there. Hinata drove him home and was instructed that he might want to go with him to pick her up, but to call first.

“Hey Handsome, how are ya this morning?” Sugizo asked when Heath answered his phone.

“Feelin’ rough. How are you?” the bassist answered, his voice sounding a bit scratchy.

“Oh? What’s wrong?”

“I kinda overdid it on the solid food yesterday and well…my stomach didn’t appreciate it. Was up most of the night puking. Thank goodness Pata was here with me.”

“Oh damn, brother…I’m sorry to hear that. You feeling any better now?” Sugizo asked, hating to hear that he’d been sick.

“Yeah, I feel some better but now my throat is killing me and I have a headache from hell.”

“Yikes. Anything I can do? Can I bring you something?”

“No, I’m okay. They gave me something for nausea earlier that seems to have helped, but it’s making me really groggy. I’m just going to sleep most of the day, probably,” Heath answered.

“Good. That’s the best thing for ya. Mind if Luna and I come up and see you once she gets out of school this afternoon?”

“Oh please do. I’m sure I’ll be up for some company by then.”

Sugizo promised to see him later and hung up, thinking about what all he needed to get accomplished before Heath came home with him the next day.

_‘Still need to wash the bed linens and air those pillows out,’_ he thought, looking into the guest room which was going to be Heath’s room for at least a couple of weeks.

He had cheekily placed some of the artwork in the guest room that he’d taken down from the living room walls and now he looked at it and laughed.

“I don’t think he’ll mind a few tasteful nudes in his bedroom,” he said to no one in particular. “Might make him feel better.”

He puttered around for a bit, arranging this and straightening that until he was satisfied that the room was acceptable to put his friend in. He had also stripped the bed and dumped it all into the washer. Everything was pretty much ready for Heath. He just needed to go to the market now, but thought he’d wait and take Luna with him.

In the meantime, there was another call he needed to make.

“Hey…it’s me. Whatcha up to today?” Sugizo asked in a playful voice when the phone was answered.

“Oh, just looking over some contracts at the moment. What about you?” Sakurai answered.

“Well, just finished getting Heath’s room ready for him—he’s coming here tomorrow once he’s ‘paroled’. Did that after dropping Luna off at school so now I’m allll alone…”

“Awww, are you allll alone?” Acchan asked in an equally playful voice.

“Uh huh…” Sugizo answered, trying to sound pitiful.

“You want some company? I mean, I hate to think of you being lonely over there all by yourself.”

The guitarist grinned. “I hate to think of you being buried in a stack of contracts. And yes, I’d love some company. How quick can you get here?” he chuckled.

“Hmmm…give me an hour and I’ll be there,” Acchan answered.

“That long? Well…okay. I guess I can wait an hour.”

“You gonna be naked when I get there?” the dark vocalist asked in his deep voice.

“Oh, Acchan…half the fun of a present is in the unwrapping…don’t you know that?” Sugizo whispered. “I need you to unwrap me.”

“45 minutes…” Sakurai said and hung up.

The auburn-haired man smiled and laughed. “Better get the room ready…”

After arranging a few items and making sure there were enough supplies in his bedroom, Sugizo changed into a pair of track pants and a t-shirt. Then he changed his mind and stripped again, putting on blue silk boxers and a blue patterned silk robe.

Tying the robe, he thought with a wicked grin, _‘Can’t make it too easy for him.’_

_______________

Once Sugizo and Luna returned home from visiting Heath and going to the market to get more groceries in the house—along with a few special treats for their recovering friend—Luna helped her dad put everything away in the kitchen.

“So you finished Uncle Heath’s room, huh? I need to look and make sure it’s okay.”

Her dad looked affronted. “You don’t trust me? Your own dad and you don’t trust me…how sad.”

“Well…you’ve been a bachelor for a long time now. Just like this apartment—I’m sure it could use a woman’s touch,” she said with a mischievous grin.

Sugizo shook his head at her. “Oh really now? And just what’s wrong with my apartment? And besides, Heath is a bachelor too—after nearly 20 years of friendship, I think I know what he likes, little miss.”

“Uh huh, okay. I’ll still check it out, if you don’t mind,” she said with a smile and went off to pass judgement on her dad’s work.

_‘Oh, the sass,’_ Sugizo thought with a grin.

Stepping into the room, she had to admit she was impressed. Everything was clean and it smelled fresh in the room. The bed was immaculately made.

“Okay, okay…you did a good job, I have to say. Not sure about that artwork, but everything else is good,” she said, giving her report.

Sugizo laughed. “Oh, he’ll like the artwork, I assure you. He is a man, after all.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she said, heading into her room to put her backpack down.

Looking over at her dresser, she immediately noticed the one, perfect, beautiful pink rose in a vase. “Papa…how pretty,” she said and stepped back into the hallway.

“Thank you for the rose, Papa. You’re so sweet,” she said with a warm smile on her face.

“Hmm? What?” he said, not sure he heard her right.

“I said thank you for the pink rose you put in my room.”

_‘Pink rose? What pink rose?’_ he wondered, knowing that he hadn’t brought any flowers into the house. He walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway to see what his daughter was talking about.

She greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and motioned over toward the vase on the dresser.

“Such a pretty one too. You’re so thoughtful.”

Sugizo just stood there with a bewildered look on his face. _‘Okay, I didn’t put that there and I know Acchan didn’t have any flowers with him when he came over… None of the guards have been in her room…’_

“Umm…” he started but didn’t really know what to say. He stepped over and looked closely at the pretty flower.

“Papa? What’s wrong?” Luna asked, looking at her dad questioningly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…I’m okay.” He paused. “I, uh, had just forgotten about putting it here, that’s all.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “So much on my mind, I just forgot,” he lied, not wanting to alarm her. “Glad you like it,” he smiled and kissed her head.

She gave him another look but decided that he was probably just tired. “So has my computer been delivered yet?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Oh, yes…forgot to tell you. It’s in the living room until we get your new desk set up,” Sugizo answered, still a bit stunned.

“Good! Let’s go get it unpacked. I have homework I need to get started on,” she said, leaving the room.

Sugizo looked at the rose again. _‘Where did you come from?’_

Several minutes must have passed because the next thing he knew, Luna was calling him from the other side of the house.

“Papa! I could use a little help in here!”

He startled and left the room, still bewildered. “Okay, I’m coming!” he called.

Half an hour later and everything was put together and updates were downloading as Luna sat at the kitchen table, working on her homework. Sugizo was putting together the takeout dinner that they’d brought home.

_‘I have to learn how to cook more things,’_ he thought. _‘We can’t be eating out all the time.’_

Over dinner they talked about how the first day back at school went, what it was like for her having guards there, and how more of her friends wanted to meet him.

“I’ll be honest, I haven’t told a lot of people who my dad is. Only my close friends know,” she said, looking across the table at him.

“Oh? Am I a secret?” he asked. “You’re not ashamed of me, are you?” he asked, only half kidding. _‘Teenagers can be weird,’_ he thought to himself.

“Ashamed of you, really? Are you serious?” she asked, staring a hole through him.

He grinned at her. “Okay, forget I said that. So why am I a secret?”

“Cause I don’t want people—particularly guys—to be my friend just because of who my dad is,” she wisely told him.

“Smart girl. You take after your old man,” he said with a wink.

Just then, a loud beep from the computer let them know that the updates had finally finished installing.

“Be right back—I need to start downloading some things,” she said, excusing herself.

Once dinner was finished, Luna carried on working on homework while her dad cleaned his bedroom. She wasn’t sure how his room had gotten into the mess he said it was in, but she figured he wanted everything clean for when Heath came over the next day.

_‘There has got to be a way to get those two together,’_ she thought, watching him going from one room to the next. _‘They’re both so handsome and so single. I might be young, but I think they like each other.’_ She had been noticing the way they talked and the way they looked at each other.

Once homework was done for the evening, Luna took a few minutes to start personalizing her brand-new computer. She started playing around with the settings, making sure she had the English keyboard downloaded, and she started going through the pictures in her online account looking for a good desktop image to use.

Taking a break to go ask her dad something, she wasn’t gone but a couple of minutes, but on returning, she called out for him.

“Papa! Come here and look at this,” she said in a tone of voice that he wasn’t accustomed to hearing.

“What’s up?” he asked, walking up behind her.

“Ummm…I didn’t choose that photo for my desktop. I didn’t choose _any_ photo for my desktop yet. Why did that one just appear like that?” she asked, looking wary.

“I don’t know…does it have a setting to randomly choose…” he started but stopped dead when he realized which photo was sitting there on her desktop. He sat down rather heavily onto the chair beside her.

“That’s me as a baby being held by Uncle Hide. I love that picture, but how did it end up there?” she asked, knowing her dad hadn’t been in there to touch anything.

Sugizo shook his head, not knowing what to say. He looked up around the room and then back at Luna with a perplexed expression. “Baby, I don’t know.”

He looked closely at the picture, his expression changing. _‘I remember exactly when that was taken,’_ he thought.

It was just before Luna’s first birthday. She had on a pretty little pink dress with a bow in her hair to match. Sugizo remembered her loving to play with Hide’s hair and the guitarist being very happy to let her. She also used to grab his face, kiss him, and then giggle. He had been very good with her, despite not having any children of his own.

_‘Kids just instinctively know who’s a good person and who’s not,’_ he thought, all of these memories flooding back into his mind.

Absentmindedly, he reached forward and touched the image of Hide on the screen, letting his fingers linger.

“You miss him, don’t you?” Luna asked, watching her dad closely. She reached over and rubbed his back gently.

He turned and looked at her, misty-eyed. “Yeah, Baby…I sure do.” After pausing, he continued. “He was an amazing man. I wish you’d known him.” He reached out and stroked her hair and tried to smile.

“Will you tell me all about him? I mean, you’ve told me a little before, but I’m older now.”

“Of course. I want you to know about your Uncle Hide. He really loved you, Honey,” her dad replied, a stray tear rolling down his cheek.

“Oh Papa, don’t…” she said, reaching up and brushing away the tear and then pulling him into a warm hug. “Come on, we’ll talk more later. You need to get some sleep.”

Sugizo smiled at his daughter and nodded. “You too. Love you,” he said, giving her a kiss and then getting up to make sure the apartment was locked up secure and the lights were out.

He sighed and decided he really needed a drink. Walking over to the locked cabinet, he opened it and poured himself a large vodka tonic and took it to his room with him. After stripping completely, he slid between the sheets and then made sure his alarm was set for the morning.

The memories were still haunting him as he lay there, sipping his drink. He remembered Hide always bringing little gifts for Luna like the cutest stuffed animals, little picture books, and even tiny, cute t-shirts.

_‘He would’ve been great for her to grow up with—he was a big kid himself,’_ the guitarist thought, smiling a sad smile.

He allowed himself to remember other things about Hide as well—things that he kept locked away in his mind for times when he felt like he could handle it.

Sugizo thought about how Hide would pull him close, plant a small kiss on his nose, and then tilt his head and giggle at him. He also remembered how his pink-haired friend would jump onto his back when they were out drinking, claiming that he needed to be carried. Of course, he would also bite and nibble at Sugizo’s ears and neck while he was there. But his favorite memory was kissing the man.

_‘Those lips…softest I’ve ever felt…and that tongue…’_ he thought, taking in a deep breath, remembering what the smaller man felt like in his arms. “Dammit Hide…I miss you so much,” he said quietly, his eyes welling up again.

He took a long drink and wished he’d mixed it stronger. Finishing off what was in his glass, he sighed and then got up, slipped on a robe, and went to mix himself another, stronger drink.

Getting back to bed, the guitarist sipped his second drink, this one light on the tonic. He needed something for his nerves, he told himself.

As he lay there lost in thought and memories, he noticed the lamp on the bedside table begin to dim and then get brighter again. It did this several times in the span of just a few minutes.

“Damn bulb is about to burn out, I’ll bet,” he mumbled, reaching over to turn it off and back on a couple of times.

“That’s quite a girl you’ve got there,” a whispered voice said, catching Sugizo completely off guard and making him jump. “I see you took credit for my rose, you naughty boy.”

Eyes wide, the guitarist turned and found Hide sitting at the foot of his bed, smiling at him. It took Sugizo a few moments to get himself together enough to answer.

“I can hear you,” he finally managed to utter. “Your voice…it’s the same.”

“Well of course it is--what did you expect?”

“I…I don’t know. First time I’ve actually heard…” he paused, unsure of what to say.

“I’m glad to see Luna here with you,” Hide said, smiling.

“That was you that put that photo on her computer desktop, wasn’t it? And the rose in her room?”

Hide smiled and nodded. “The rose you took credit for…”

“Sorry…I didn’t know what to say about that. I was rather floored.”

“I noticed,” he said and chuckled.

“Come closer,” Sugizo requested, sitting up in bed finally.

“You’re not frightened?” Hide asked.

“No, just trying to understand. I know that was you at the hospital with Heath. I was afraid I wouldn’t see you again.”

“Good—I don’t want my friends to be scared of me,” Hide said and moved further up the bed, within arm’s reach of his friend.

“Can I touch you?” the auburn-haired man asked, completely fascinated.

“You can try.”

Sugizo reached out his hand and tried to touch Hide’s arm, but he felt nothing there. A disappointed look came across his face.

“Can you feel this?” the pink-haired man asked as he reached out and stroked Sugizo’s face.

A smile began to appear on his lips. “A little—like a tingle. That’s what Heath said it felt like too.”

“Well, that’s something. I’m working on it,” Hide said with a smile.

“Working on it? What do you mean?”

“I have to learn how to do things. I’ve only just learned how to make myself somewhat visible to you guys. I’ve been around, you just couldn’t see me.”

“Really?” Sugizo asked, astonished. “You’ve been watching us all this time?”

“No, not all along. Just on and off.”

“Have you appeared to any of the other guys besides me and Heath?”

“Toshi has seen me. I’m not sure he believes he saw me, but he did. He sometimes doesn’t trust his own mind, ya know,” Hide answered.

“And that’s understandable considering what he’s been through. How about Yoshi or Pata?”

“No, Pata’s mind is too closed to this sort of thing. I want to talk to Yoshi, but…you know how he gets. I don’t want to massively upset him.”

“Maybe if a couple of us were there with him, he’d be okay. I know Heath would be glad to help out once he’s better,” Sugizo offered.

“Maybe. I just don’t want to send him into another fit of depression. Have to be careful with our dear Yo-Chan.”

“True. We have time to talk about that.” He paused. “Hide…are you okay? I don’t really know what I’m trying to ask, but are you safe and alright?”

Hide nodded and smiled. “Yes, I’m okay—I promise. I’m glad you’re not frightened by me, you of all people.”

“No, I’m not frightened—just trying to comprehend everything. I’m really glad you’re here, though. Will you stay around us?” Sugizo asked.

“You won’t always see me, but yes—I’m around.”

He started to fade a bit and the auburn-haired man reached out for him.

“Don’t go…”

“Can’t help it. I’m expending a lot of energy talking to you and being visible. I have to go for now, but I’ll be back—I promise,” Hide said, blowing him a kiss and then fading from view.

“You can still hear me even though I can’t see you, I’m guessing. If there’s anything at all I can do to help you, please let me know somehow, okay?”

Sugizo settled back down into his bed, reaching over and turning off the lamp. He didn’t know if he was going to be able to sleep or not, but he could at least lay there and rest. After a few minutes of turning everything over in his mind, he took a couple of shuddering breaths.

“I still love you, Hide,” he whispered, the tears starting to flow freely.


	14. Chapter 14

On the way to the hospital next morning, he sat in silence, head bowed, completely lost in thought while Kiyoshi drove and Hinata sat next to him. They had just dropped Luna off at school with Itsuki staying with her for the morning.

After twenty minutes of complete silence, which was unlike Sugizo, Kiyoshi looked in the rearview mirror and noticed how still the man was—he wasn’t even drinking his coffee. At the next stoplight, he turned slightly and caught Hinata’s eye, giving him a look. The guard next to the guitarist just shrugged slightly. Something was clearly bothering him, but they didn’t feel it was their place to ask.

“Sugizo-San,” Hinata began, trying to make conversation. “After we pick up Heath-San from the hospital, is there anywhere else we can take you?”

“Hmm?” Sugizo said, coming out of his daze. “Oh, no—I don’t think so. I’ll ask Heath but I don’t think he’s up to much.” He turned and looked back out at the gently falling rain.

Hinata looked up toward the front seat and met Kiyoshi’s eyes in the mirror. They exchanged a look but didn’t say anything more.

Once they reached Heath’s room, the two guards watched Sugizo take a deep breath, put on a smile, and push the door open.

“Hiya, Handsome! Ready to get outta here?” he said in a bright, happy voice that the two guards knew was faked.

“Like watching an actor go on stage,” Kiyoshi said quietly once the door had closed.

“He’s definitely not himself this morning,” Hinata remarked.

Inside the room, Heath had looked up at his friend entering the room and answered him.

“Yes. Hell yes!” he said. “Just waiting on the doctor to come around and then hopefully I can get the fuck outta here.”

“You look ready. How ya feeling this morning? Stomach still okay?” Sugizo asked.

“Yeah, as long as I don’t overdo it, I think I’ll be alright.”

“Well, I’ve got an extra room, a sofa, and a recliner at your disposal. Lounge and take it easy for as long as you need to.” He paused. “Oh, and unless I miss my guess, you’ll have a nurse ready to do anything she can for her Uncle Heath too.”

“Aww, she’s such a sweetheart,” Heath smiled, thinking about how adorable Luna had been every time she came to see him. “It’ll be nice to have her around. Speaking of, how’s it going with having her with you all the time? You guys getting along okay?”

“Oh yeah—so far so good. She’s a teenager so the sass is there, but she’s still my sweet little girl for now. I’m not stupid though—I know the arguments will come,” he replied with a laugh.

Once the doctor had been in and looked Heath over one last time, he agreed to let him go home provided he had someone with him at all times for the next two weeks. He was assured that that would be the case and he wasn’t going home alone.

While they waited for the nurse to come by with all of his home care instructions and a couple of prescriptions, Sugizo and Heath got all of his things together and invited Hinata and Kiyoshi into the room.

“Have you guys met Heath yet?” he asked.

They both shook their heads, but smiled. “No, haven’t had the pleasure,” one of them said.

“Hinata-San, Kiyoshi-San, please meet Hirosh-” he started and stopped when the bassist shot him a look. “I mean, Heath-San—probably the best bass player I know. Don’t tell J I said that,” he added with a grin and a wink. “Heath, these are two of the guys from our security team. You’ll meet the others over the next few days, I’m sure.”

They all bowed to each other and shook hands. “Thank you for watching after my girl Luna…and this fool too, I suppose.” Heath looked over at Sugizo and rolled his eyes. “You’ll get used to him…”

The auburn-haired man raised his eyebrows, tilted his head, and shot his friend a look. “That’s gratitude for ya, right there.” He laughed in spite of himself.

The nurse soon came by with Heath’s discharge papers and home instructions along with what had to be six different prescriptions.

“Now, it’s very important that you take these medications and use these inhalers as prescribed, or we might see you back in here. Not that we don’t enjoy seeing your handsome face, but I’m sure you’d rather be at home.”

“Yes ma’am, I’d much rather be at home,” Heath told her. “I’ll do what I’m supposed to. I’ve learned that lesson, believe me.”

“You better have. We’re not going through that again,” Sugizo interjected.

Once they’d stopped by the hospital pharmacy to get the prescriptions filled, Sugizo, Heath and the two guards piled into the SUV to head back to the guitarist’s apartment.

“Anywhere else you want or need to go before we go back to my place?” Sugizo asked his friend.

“I’d love a coffee. A _real_ coffee—not that hospital muck.”

“We can do that!” Sugizo said.

“And I hate to ask this, but…I’ve been stuck inside for so long. Can we just drive around a bit?” Heath asked.

The auburn-haired man smiled and nodded. “Hinata, take the really long way back to my place. And let’s find some decent coffee for this boy.”

Since they were alone in the back seat, Heath cocked his head at Sugizo, raised his eyebrows, and took his mask down on one side. _‘Boy? You better feel again,’_ he mouthed at his friend, pointing at his crotch.

_‘Is that an invitation?’_ the guitarist mouthed back, punctuating it with a laugh.

Heath just gave him a side-eye look, put his mask back on, and turned to look out the window at the rain that was still falling.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Sugizo asked, looking out the window on his side. Heath nodded. “Ya know, I have a nice rooftop garden at my apartment building. I haven’t been up there much, but it’s really pretty. Great place to sit and watch it rain.”

“Oh? I’d like to see that. I usually go for walks in the rain, but I’m not up to much walking these days,” Heath admitted.

“Yeah, I remember how much you love it. You’ll be up to walking soon--just have to give yourself time. Your body is recovering from something pretty traumatic, ya know.”

The bassist looked skyward and then closed his eyes and sighed. “Oh, I know…” he whispered.

Once coffee and lunch had been acquired, they made it back to Sugizo’s apartment building. Hinata parked as close as he could to the front doors on directions from the guitarist as he knew Heath would need help to even get out of the SUV as well as assistance walking into the building. The guards carried the lunch they’d gotten as well as Heath’s bag of belongings while Sugizo supported his bassist friend with an arm around his waist.

They eventually made it up to the apartment and once inside, the auburn-haired man told Hinata and Kiyoshi that they could go for now as the two musicians weren’t planning to go back out for the rest of the day. Soon, he showed Heath to the bedroom that would be his for a couple of weeks.

“Is this okay for you? I tried to make it as nice as I could, but I can always change something if need be,” Sugizo told Heath, bringing his bag in for him.

Heath looked around at the attractive, cozy room and smiled. The furniture was a warm, dark color to match the dark wood of the flooring. There was plenty of light in the room supplied by the large window, but there were also a couple of nice lamps. He momentarily studied the artwork on the wall and he had to laugh.

“Weren’t those pictures out in the living room before?” he asked, pointing to the nudes.

“Yup, sure were. Didn’t think the Child Welfare people would appreciate them, so I put something else in the living room and moved those in here. Luna wondered what you would think but I told her you were a man and you’d probably like them,” Sugizo said with a laugh and a smile.

Heath chuckled. “I’m good with them, actually.”

“See, I knew you would. I know my Hi-Chan.” The guitarist gave him a grin and a wink.

After sitting on the bed for a bit, Heath felt a little recharged. “So, should we go see this rooftop garden of yours?” he asked.

“Sure! You feeling up to it?”

“I think so. As long as there’s somewhere to sit up there, I’ll be fine.”

“Oh there is—several places, actually,” Sugizo informed him.

They took their coffees and headed out to the elevator, the guitarist again supporting Heath with an arm. Once they arrived at roof level, he entered the appropriate code and opened the door that led out into the beautiful garden. Once they’d been seated in the covered area for several minutes, Sugizo had an idea.

“Hey, why don’t we have our lunch up here? I can go get it plus a throw to keep you warm. Sound good?”

“Sure, if you don’t mind going to get it. It’s nice up here,” Heath responded, loving the scene of the falling rain and the occasional cool breeze on his face.

“You’ll be okay for a few minutes by yourself? Promise me you won’t try to get up.”

Heath chuckled. “I promise…”

“Alright, be right back!”

Sugizo returned fairly quickly with their lunch, drinks, and a couple of small throws to keep his friend warm. After wrapping Heath up to keep him from catching a chill, they enjoyed their lunch on the rooftop, eating and chatting about lots of different things.

Feeling like this was as good a time as any, Sugizo turned to his friend with a somewhat serious look.

“Can I ask you something personal?”

“Umm…sure. What’s up?”

“What happened to Cami? We all thought she’d be there to help take care of you and when I mentioned her that Monday when I took you home, you never said anything about her not being around anymore. I’m just curious as to what happened and why you didn’t tell me you didn’t have anyone to help you.”

Heath looked like he really didn’t want to talk about this, but he knew his good friend deserved an explanation.

“Well…she’s actually been gone for a while now—like a couple of months. Things just didn’t work out between us.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I remember you bringing her to the live we did a few months back, but I haven’t seen her since,” Sugizo remarked.

“I’ve hardly seen her since then myself. I guess she met someone at that show that she liked better than me, I don’t know. I do know one thing though…I’m tired of dating. I’m too old for this shit.”

“I hear ya. I feel that way myself sometimes. But Brother, why didn’t you tell us that you didn’t have someone to help you? We could’ve been there for ya and this whole hospital thing might have been avoided.”

Sugizo’s tone assured Heath that he wasn’t upset or trying to pry, he was just concerned.

“I guess I was just embarrassed. You know I hate to be a bother to anyone, so I just didn’t call until it was too late, unfortunately. You do realize who you’re dealing with here, right?” the bassist asked. “I’m Hiroshi ‘good time in bed but can’t hang onto a girlfriend to save his life’ Morie,” he answered in response to his friend’s quizzical expression.

Sugizo shook his head. “Then there are a lot of stupid bitches ‘round here. Maybe you just need to play for the home team for a while. After my divorce, I pretty much swore off women—you know that. I think I’ve dated maybe two in the last 14-15 years.”

“No offense, but you don’t seem to be having any more luck than I am, my friend.”

The guitarist laughed. “No offense taken…and you’re right. I haven’t really tried in the last few years. Been so busy with work that I kinda quit worrying about my love life.”

“So then where does Sakurai fit in?” Heath asked, eyebrows raised.

Sugizo nearly choked on the sip of tea that he’d just taken. “What?” he asked between coughs.

The bassist couldn’t hide the amused look on his face. “You know—tall, dark, handsome…slightly scary dude. Singer,” he replied, still grinning at his friend’s surprised look.

“Yeah, I know who he is. What makes you think I have anything going with him?”

Heath just gave him an ‘Oh, please’ look. “’Zo… At the hospital? When you both were there at the same time? Listen, I may’ve been sick but I’m not blind. I saw him eyeing you like you were lunch.” He paused. “And honestly, you did look amazing in that suit. But hey look, it’s cool if you got something going with Acchan. I mean, he’s hot—he’s fuckin’ hot. Good for you!”

“I suppose it would be completely pointless to deny it, huh?” Sugizo asked with a sheepish look.

“Completely,” Heath answered, taking another sip of tea.

The guitarist sighed. “Nothing serious. More like friends with benefits. It kinda got started at one of Yoshi’s parties. We get together every once in a while and wear each other out.”

“Ah. He been around lately?” Heath asked. “It’s just that you seem to be a little stiff. You okay, bro?”

Sugizo actually blushed at that question. “Yeah, I’m okay—just a little sore. You do notice everything, don’tcha?”

“Mm hmm,” the bassist said, humming into his teacup. “Answer the question.”

The blushing man sighed again. “Yes, he’s been around lately. Yesterday, as a matter of fact. Satisfied?” he asked with a grin.

“Question is, did _he_ satisfy _you_?”

“Oh yeah, I’m good for a bit. It’ll take that long for the bruises to go away…” Sugizo replied and winked at his surprised friend, slightly lowering the waist of his pants over one hip, revealing the distinctly finger-shaped bruises.

Heath chuckled and shook his head. “Never change, ‘Zo.”

Sugizo laughed. “You ready to go in? It’s getting a little cooler out here.”

“Sure. I should probably rest some.”

Once back inside and comfortable, the guitarist group-texted everyone to let them know that Heath was with him at his place and he was doing well. He also invited them to come over to visit any time they wanted.

“What time do you leave to go pick up Luna from school?” Heath asked.

“Well, I wasn’t planning to go with the boys to pick her up—I didn’t know if you’d be up to it or not. And no, I’m not leaving you here by yourself while I go, so don’t even suggest it.”

Heath smiled. “I can go with you. I’d like to, actually. Gets me back outside for a bit, too.”

“If you’re sure—you’re welcome to come. We’d need to leave in about…” he paused and checked his watch. “About three hours. That gives you enough time to take a nap, if you want.”

The bassist nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Okay, if you’ll help me to my room, I’ll lay down for a bit.” He stopped and thought for a second. “Damn, I just remembered—I don’t really have any clothes with me. I’m going to need to make a trip to my apartment and get some things.”

“We’ll have someone go do that for you. I’m sure Toshi or Pata would be glad to. Let’s get you into your room and we’ll call them,” Sugizo suggested.

After all had been arranged, the auburn-haired man made sure his houseguest was comfortable and warm and had a kiss on his forehead. Before leaving the room though, he turned and looked at Heath, his long, black hair standing out in contrast to the crisp white of the pillow.

_‘I’m so glad he’s getting better, but…he still looks so frail…poor babe,’_ he thought. _‘He is_ not _leaving here until he’s significantly better. I won’t have it.’_

_______________

Coming back into the apartment, Luna held the door while her dad helped Heath inside and then over to the couch. She dropped her bag off in her room and then came back out to see if there was anything she could do to help.

“Uncle Heath!” she had called and came running over to the SUV once she spotted him sitting in the backseat with the door open, waiting for her.

“Hey, Sweetie! Get in here and sit between us!” he said, patting the seat between himself and Sugizo. She had happily done as he asked.

“Can I get you something to drink?” she now questioned him, wanting to do something to be of help.

“Sure…whatcha got?”

“We’ve got some of the protein shakes you like in the fridge. Chocolate or vanilla?” Sugizo asked.

“Ooooh, chocolate please,” Heath replied with a smile. “A protein shake would be good. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost weight. Not that I had any to lose in the first place,” he lamented, pulling at the waistband of his pants which was now pretty loose.

Luna retrieved a cold shake from the fridge and even opened it for him before handing it over. She also handed a vanilla one to her dad.

“You could stand to gain a little yourself,” she said with a grin.

School and dinner were the topics of conversation for the next little while until the doorbell interrupted them. Toshi with a duffle bag was soon let in and he joined them in the living room.

“I think I found everything you wanted. I’ll be glad to go back if you need me to though,” the vocalist told Heath. “Some of that may need washing. With the apartment having been closed up for two weeks and you having been so sick beforehand, it would be a good idea to run the clothes through the wash.”

“I can do that! You’re not allergic to anything are you, Uncle Heath?”

“No, not that I know of,” the bassist answered. “But you don’t have to wash my clothes, Sweetheart.”

“Well, we’re not going to let you do it, so you may as well hand them over,” she said, standing there, waiting for the duffle bag.

Sugizo grinned. “You may as well do as she says, Hi-Chan. She’s tenacious.”

All three men smiled and watched her take the large bag from beside Heath and go off down the hall to the guest room.

“So cute,” Toshi said.

“So sassy,” Sugizo replied, shaking his head. “I’m very soon going to have my hands full.”

They all laughed and agreed. “Just wait until she starts dating!” Toshi interjected and caused Luna’s dad to roll his eyes.

“Oh hey, that’s a nice computer you have there. Is it new?” the vocalist asked, stepping over to it and moving the mouse to make the screen pop to life.

“Yeah, that’s Luna’s new computer I got for her. We only just got it up and running last night,” the guitarist answered.

Toshi looked more closely at the wallpaper image and his eyes opened wide.

“Is that…? That’s Hide, isn’t it?” he asked.

Sugizo nodded. “Yeah, that’s him holding Luna just before her first birthday. I remember that photo being taken.”

“You put that up there for her?” Heath asked. “I’ll bet she loves that picture.”

“Well…yes, she does, but…no, I didn’t.”

“She did it?” Toshi asked.

The guitarist sighed. “Hang on, let’s get Luna back in here and I’ll tell you all what actually happened.”

He wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but since he had everyone together, he figured he might as well.

“Luna, honey…can you come back in here please?” her dad asked.

“Coming!” she called back, getting the first load of clothes going in the washer.

“Okay, everyone sit and relax—this is going to take a little explanation,” Sugizo said. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

“So, Luna…I found out what happened with your computer—why that picture suddenly appeared there. Also, I now know where that pink rose came from.” He paused and looked around at everyone.

“It was Hide,” he informed them and waited to see their reactions.

Toshi’s eyes opened wider and he looked at his guitarist with a questioning look. Luna as well, gave her dad an odd look. Heath was the only one who didn’t really react.

“How do you know that?” the young lady asked.

“Because he told me. I saw him in my bedroom last night.”

“You what?” Toshi asked.

“I saw him and talked to him last night in my bedroom. I’m very serious,” Sugizo replied.

Toshi looked over at Heath who didn’t look the slightest bit surprised.

“I saw him several times while I was in the hospital. It’s kinda foggy, but I do remember him holding my hand and calming me down,” the bassist remarked.

“And apparently, you’ve seen him too, Toshi. Hide told me that you’ve seen him, but he didn’t know if you’d admit it.”

“Ummm, well…I, uh…” he started, looking around the room. “I wasn’t sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. It’s hard for me, you know, so…”

“I know and so does Hide. He understands,” Sugizo said in a sweet voice. He turned to his daughter. “Luna, does any of this bother you? There’s nothing to be frightened about.”

“So you’re telling me that the rose was from Uncle Hide? And he put that picture on my desktop?” she asked, pointing at the computer screen.

“Yes, baby—he did.”

She nodded and sat there in thought for a minute. “Will I see him?”

“Do you want to?” her dad asked.

“Umm, I don’t know. Would it scare me?”

“It shouldn’t. He looks just like he does in that picture. His voice is even the same. Want me to see if I can get him to come visit?” Sugizo asked, only half believing he was having this conversation.

“Now?!” she asked, suddenly getting nervous.

“Why not? He would never want to scare you, Baby—and he would certainly never hurt you in any way.”

“No, he’s a good spirit, Honey,” Heath added.

“Okay…” she answered.

“Toshi? What about you?” Sugizo asked.

The vocalist took a deep breath. He tried to say something, but only ended up nodding.

“Alright. I don’t know if he’s around right now, but it won’t hurt to try.”

He paused for a moment, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he started speaking in a low, calm voice.

“Hide? Can you hear me, Brother?”

Luna picked this time to crawl into her dad’s lap, not caring if she was 15 or 5--she knew where she wanted to be. He wrapped his arms around her waist and continued.

“We’d all love to see you again. Can you come and visit us?” he asked.

They all waited, but nothing seemed to be happening. Sugizo thought about what Hide had told him the previous night.

“He may not have the energy to make himself visible again just yet. He told me last night that it took a lot for him to be visible and talk to me.”

“Hide? Can you hear me? I’m finally out of the hospital,” Heath added. “I’d love to see you again.”

Still, nothing happened. They all looked around the room at each other and stayed quiet less they miss something. After a few more minutes, Toshi’s nerves seemed to get the best of him.

“Okay, well…maybe another day. I need to get going anyway,” he said, slowly standing and stretching his back.

“You always were impatient, Toshi-Kun…” a voice said quietly. “Sit dowwwwwn…”

Toshi’s eyes sprang open at hearing a voice that he’d been missing for too many years. “Oh my god…”

“Nope, just me,” Hide whispered, beginning to become visible next to Heath.

Several seconds later, there sat Hide, cross-legged on the couch—not completely solid-looking, but pretty close.

“Hi,” he said, his voice sounding a little stronger. “You’re looking better, Hi-Chan.” He gave Heath a warm smile and then turned to look at Luna.

“My goodness…how you’ve grown up! Do you know who I am, Luna?” he asked, hoping she wouldn’t be afraid of him.

She sat looking at him for a bit, turning to glance at her dad who gave her an encouraging look, and then turned back to Hide.

“You’re Uncle Hide,” she finally said in a small voice.

“’Uncle Hide’…how cute is that?” he said with a smile. “Yes, that’s right. You’ve grown into a beautiful young lady.”

“Guys, please tell me I’m seeing what I think I’m seeing. It’s not just in my mind, is it?” Toshi asked, having retaken his seat in the recliner but his expression hadn’t really changed.

“Yes, Tosh—you’re seeing him. You have all of us as witnesses,” Heath said, reaching over to lay a reassuring hand on the vocalist’s knee.

Toshi just nodded.

“Trust yourself--I’m right here. I wish I could touch you and convince you, but you wouldn’t feel much,” Hide said.

The vocalist swallowed hard. “Give it a try,” he said.

He was really trying hard to stay calm and believe that this was really happening. As he watched, Hide moved from the couch over to where he was sitting in the recliner. The movement was somewhere between walking and gliding, he thought to himself.

“See if you can feel this,” their pink-haired friend said, raising his hand and stroking it down Toshi’s cheek.

The fact that the vocalist jumped slightly was an indication.

“Yeah, I felt _something,_ ” he said.

“Good. That’s the best I can do for now—better than nothing though,” Hide said with a smile. “You believe I’m real now?”

Toshi gave him a nervous nod.

“Uncle Hide? Will you touch me too?” Luna asked, still looking nervous but like her dad, endlessly fascinated.

“Sure, Sweetheart,” he said, moving over to where she was still perched on Sugizo’s lap. He looked into her eyes for a moment and then caressed her cheek with his hand. She smiled and let out a little giggle.

“Tickles,” she said, looking back at her dad who gave her a smile.

Hide then leaned forward and placed a kiss on Sugizo’s forehead, stoking his face and smiling afterward.

“I’m very happy that none of you are frightened by me—that would really bother me if you were.”

He turned back to Heath and gave him a kiss as well which was met with a warm smile.

“Have to go for now. I’ll be around though,” he said and faded from view while they all watched.

No one spoke right away, letting the experience sink in. Finally, Heath looked over at Toshi and smiled.

“It’s amazing that he looks and sounds just like we remember, isn’t it? I wonder if the others have seen him. Has Yoshi said anything?” the bassist asked his ‘big brother’.

“No, he hasn’t said a word. I’m kinda hoping he doesn’t though—it would _really_ upset him.”

“I asked Hide if Yoshi or Pata had seen him and he said no, so I think we’re good for now concerning Yo-Chan,” Sugizo informed them. “And Hide knows how sensitive Yoshi can be, so he’s staying away. Said he didn’t want to send him into another fit of depression.”

“Oh god…I really appreciate that. You know how he gets and now is _not_ the time,” Toshi remarked, sounding relieved.

Heath and Sugizo nodded in agreement.

“He and Pata were really close…I wonder why he hasn’t gone to him?” Heath asked.

“He told me that Pata’s mind was too closed to accept seeing him. Kinda sad, really. Hide seems to really want to communicate with the people he was close to now that he’s able to actually let us see him,” the guitarist answered.

“I wonder who else he might’ve visited. I know he and J were pretty close. And George. Oh, and some of the guys from Spread Beaver. Are either of you in touch with any of them?” Heath asked.

“I see Kaz every now and then, but that’s about it,” Sugizo answered. “I can ask J though.”

Luna excused herself to go check on her Uncle Heath’s laundry, leaving the men in the living room.

Toshi had become rather quiet throughout this whole experience. He seemed to be listening to what was being said, but at the same time he looked a million miles away. All at once, he stood up and said he needed to go, that he needed to get home. It wasn’t so much what he said as how he said it that sounded alarm bells for Heath and Sugizo.

“Tosh…you okay, brother?” the guitarist asked, looking concerned.

“Umm, yeah…I just honestly feel like I need to get home to Yoshi for some reason. I can’t really explain it,” he said, coming over to hug Heath and then Sugizo once they’d gotten to the door.

“Call us and let us know that everything is okay once you get there, please? I’m going to worry until you do,” the auburn-haired man told his friend.

Returning to the living room, Sugizo sat down on the couch next to Heath. “He’s acting strange.”

“Think seeing Hide upset him?” the bassist asked.

“Could be. You and I seem to take those sorts of things pretty well, but I know everyone isn’t like me.”

“I worry about him sometimes. Still…to this day. He’s better than he was 4 or 5 years ago—you know that—but sometimes he just gets this look in his eyes. You know what I mean?” Heath said.

“Yeah, I know exactly. I usually try to keep him talking when he gets like that, but it doesn’t always work.” He paused as a thought hit him. “Think we should call and warn Yoshi?”

“I’m already on it,” Heath said, putting his phone up to his ear.

“Be careful what you say—don’t mention Hide,” Sugizo reminded him.

Heath gave him a side eye and a smirk. “I know that, I was here for—"

"Yoshi, hi! It’s Heath—yeah, I’m doing okay. Still tired, but that’s common—Uh huh. Listen, has Toshi gotten home yet?—Well, he’s acting a little off. Not sure why, but I wanted to give you a heads up—Yeah. Said he suddenly felt like he needed to be home with you—Exactly. Distant.—Anyway, he’s supposed to give us a call when he gets there, so don’t let on that we said anything, okay?—Alright. Give us a call if you need anything.—Will do. Later.”

He pressed ‘End’ on his phone and immediately leaned over and placed a kiss on Sugizo’s cheek. “That’s from Yoshi,” he explained.

The guitarist smiled. “Aww, not from you?”

Heath chuckled and kissed his other cheek. “That one’s from me.”

“That’s better,” Sugizo said, getting up to go do something about dinner for the three of them.

Not long after he’d finished eating, the still-recovering Heath felt like he’d hit the proverbial wall. Almost unable to get up from the dinner table, he asked Sugizo to help him to his room so that he could lie down.

Luna had a worried look on her face. “Uncle Heath, are you okay?” She jumped up to try and help.

“Yeah…just really tired all of a sudden,” he answered her.

“He just needs to rest—he’ll be okay, Baby,” Sugizo told his daughter, supporting Heath with an arm around his waist and helping him down the hallway. Once in the bedroom, he helped him get his nightclothes from the freshly washed stack.

“Want to get a shower before you get in bed?” his host asked.

“Well, I’d like to, but I don’t have the energy right now. Maybe in the morning,” he said, pulling off his shirt and slipping into a thin t-shirt.

Sugizo helped him finish undressing and made sure he was tucked in and warm enough.

“Okay, you call me if you need anything. Seriously now, don’t try to get up by yourself. I don’t want you falling.”

“Thank you—I will.” He paused. “’Zo, come down here for a second,” he requested.

The guitarist leaned over him. “Hmm?”

Heath then reached up with both hands and pulled Sugizo’s face closer, placing a warm, soft kiss on the man’s lips.

“That’s also from me,” he whispered.

Sugizo still had a smile on his face when he crawled into bed later that evening. He pulled the covers over his naked body and settled into the comfortable bed hoping to get some much-needed rest. As he reached over to switch off the lamp, he gave a little chuckle.

_‘Well…maybe,’_ Sugizo thought to himself and smiling, closed his eyes.

When his eyes fluttered open again, he looked up straight into the impossibly dark eyes of the man who was hovering over him. The man’s shapely lips curled up into a devilish grin before his wet tongue darted out and made a production of licking first his top lip and then his full lower lip. He then leaned in and kissed Sugizo thoroughly, leaving him panting for breath.

As he licked at the auburn-haired man’s kiss-swollen lips, the guitarist tried to reach for him, wanting to get his fingers into his lover’s silky, black hair but found his hands restrained.

“Mmmm,” he groaned softly. “When did you tie me up?”

“While you were having your nap,” the deep voice cooed, mouth still kissing and nipping at Sugizo’s neck and collarbone. From experience, he knew where one of his lover’s hotspots was and he was just about to hit it.

“Ahhhh, Acchan,” Sugizo moaned and arched up into the man’s body.

Sakurai gave a deep, throaty chuckle. “Like that, do ya? Sounds like you’re ready to go again…and it’s my turn.”

“Please…” Sugizo whispered, again pulling at his restraints.

The text notification had sounded at least three times by the time Sugizo reached over and grabbed his phone. He shook his head in an attempt to wake himself and clear his vision.

“Yoshi…what the fuck do you want?” he mumbled, trying to open the message.

‘Sorry I didn’t text earlier. Toshi had me worried but he’s home and okay--seems shaken. Talk tomorrow. Let me know if you or Heath need anything,’ the text read.

_‘Glad he’s okay,’_ Sugizo thought, yawning. _‘Bathroom.’_

After shuffling into the en suite bathroom and taking care of business, he looked in the mirror to examine the bruises that still sat on his hips. The dream had reminded him of his recent session with Sakurai.

He chuckled and shook his head as he examined all the little ‘gifts’ his lover had left him.

_‘Damn, I don’t think I could take him all the time. Once every two or three weeks is enough for me. He’s a damn good ride though!’_ Sugizo thought, taking a moment to remember how the taller, darker man felt on top of him, underneath him, and inside of him.

He grinned and then shook his head as if to clear the image. “Better check on Heath while I’m up,” he said to himself and pulled on a robe before leaving his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter Weekend! Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! Things WILL get better, just have faith! :) Feel free to leave a comment and let's talk!


	15. Chapter 15

The next several days went by thankfully without incident. Several of their friends dropped by to visit—especially the ones who couldn’t come up to the hospital while Heath had been there. Flowers, cards, balloons, and food gifts were continually delivered to the concierge’s office and brought up by runners.

As the bassist was still unable to do a lot of walking, they spent a pleasant amount of time in the rooftop garden watching the rain that continued to fall. Evenings were spent in the living room watching TV or playing games on the new Playstation system that Luna insisted they needed. Heath hadn’t been much help in discouraging her, offering to buy the extra controllers as well as several games. In the end, Papa Sugizo had given in.

One such evening, the boys were in their usual places on the couch—Heath on the left end and Sugizo on the right--watching a classic horror movie after Luna had gone to bed. Heath was finally beginning to feel more like his old self and able to stay up later than he had in the first few days at the Sugihara home.

“We need more popcorn,” Sugizo surmised, hitting the bottom of the bowl. “Be right back,” he said, pushing himself up off the couch and heading into the kitchen.

A minute later he was back. “How’s your drink holding up? Need another one?” he asked his good friend who was all wrapped up in the movie.

“Huh? Oh, yeah—another would be great,” Heath said, handing his almost empty soda can up to his host. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Maybe in a couple more weeks you can have a beer or two. Have to ask the doc when you go for your next appointment,” Sugizo said.

“That’d be great. What I really want is a cigarette, but I don’t dare try it yet.”

“Oooh, no—better give those lungs more time. Ya know, now would be a good time to try and quit altogether,” the guitarist asserted.

“I know…I really should try. I’m just not sure what I could replace the habit with.”

“Need something else to do with your mouth?” Sugizo asked, grinning and raising his eyebrows.

Heath laughed and started to reply, but the timer on the microwave picked that moment to go off.

“Oh shut up and get the popcorn—we’re missing the movie!” the bassist answered, still chuckling.

Sugizo was still grinning when he came back in with fresh drinks and a full bowl of buttered popcorn.

“Hey, it was a perfectly legitimate question,” he said, sitting down next to Heath and holding the bowl on his lap.

The bassist cut his eyes over at him and grinned but didn’t reply. Instead, he took a few pieces from the bowl and popped them into his mouth. Then, making sure his friend could see him, proceeded to lick his fingertips, one at a time, starting with his pinky and ending with his index finger which he lingered on, sucking it gently. Finger still in his mouth, he turned and looked into the guitarist’s eyes.

Sugizo had been in the process of putting some popcorn in his own mouth, but the motion had stalled midway as he sat and watched Heath, mouth open. Heath reached over and gently pushed up on his friend’s chin with two fingers.

The guitarist cleared his throat and then shifted a bit in his seat. He knew from personal experience how good Heath was with his mouth.

“Ya know, I’m gonna let that go since you’re still recovering, but…” Sugizo started, then paused.

“But…but what?” Heath asked, almost whispering.

“…but you pull that when you’re healthy and I’ll wear your ass out,” he answered, looking the man straight in the eyes.

Heath knew very well that he was as good as his word, but that didn’t mean he was going to let his friend off lightly.

“Promises, promises…all I get are promises,” the bassist replied with a wicked grin.

“Try me,” Sugizo replied matter-of-factly, a familiar look in his eyes.

Heath grinned slightly and pushed popcorn into his friend’s mouth.

“Shhh…we’re missing the movie,” he said with an amused tone.

Once that film was finished, Sugizo asked Heath if he still wanted to watch the other one that they’d planned on.

“You wanna give this one a go or are you too tired?” he asked.

“I’m good—let’s watch it,” Heath answered. He was enjoying the evening too much to go to bed now.

Sugizo put on the movie and they settled back to watch it, getting more comfortable on the couch. After about twenty minutes though, Heath was laughing at the absurdity on the screen.

“I heard that this one was bad, but I didn’t know it was _this_ bad! I can’t take this seriously,” he said with a laugh.

“It _is_ pretty bad, huh?” the guitarist admitted.

“So bad it’s good, actually. Happens with some horror flicks—they turn into comedy.”

“Should I change the channel? We can find something else,” Sugizo offered.

“Nah, let’s just laugh at their stupid asses.”

Half an hour later though, Heath was getting quieter and sinking lower into the couch—a fact that wasn’t missed by his friend.

“You ready to go to bed? You seem to be winding down,” Sugizo asked.

“I’m getting there, but not just yet,” he answered, not wanting to give in.

“Alright, but let’s get a little more comfy.”

With that, the guitarist pulled the throw off the back of the couch and draped it across both of their laps. He then slipped an arm around Heath’s shoulders and pulled him closer, allowing him to rest against his body.

“There, that’s nice, huh?” he asked.

Heath nodded and smiled. They continued to watch the farce of a movie that they’d picked, laughing at the parts that were supposed to be scary. After one such scene, they just looked at each other and shook their heads in disbelief, but the look lingered.

Neither was sure who moved first, but before they knew what was happening, their lips met in a slow, sweet kiss. First one and then another…and another. It was Heath that took the step of deepening the kisses, taking quick little licks of Sugizo’s lips until they parted, allowing entry into that warm, wet mouth.

Heath’s hand came up to play with the guitarist’s hair while his tongue explored and played with its counterpart. Once they came up for air, Sugizo began kissing down Heath’s neck, nipping and suckling at his collarbone before moving back up to lick and kiss his earlobe. Little moans were coming from both of them as they enjoyed tasting and being tasted.

Mouths meeting again, their tongues took turns exploring while hands grasped, caressed, and did some exploring of their own. And while they didn’t have full access to each other sitting on the couch like they were, there was plenty of the other’s body to appreciate.

Sugizo soon remembered something he loved about his friend’s finely muscled frame: even though Heath was quite slender, he was strong and well-defined. The center of his back dipped in, creating a great little track down the middle for fingers and nails to run along, much to the pleasure of the bassist. It was also a great way to hang onto him when he was on top of you, Sugizo recalled.

For Heath’s part, he was lavishing attention on the guitarist’s nipples, knowing that Sugizo was particularly sensitive to that kind of manipulation. He rubbed, pinched, and rolled those firm brown nubs, causing the man to moan deeply as they continued to kiss.

Sugizo’s free hand was already slipping beneath the waistband of Heath’s sleep pants, beginning to tease and grasp at one firm cheek. Just as things were about to shift into the next gear, Heath suddenly pulled back from Sugizo’s mouth and lay his head against the couch, almost wheezing.

“You okay?” the guitarist asked, startled.

Heath continued to have trouble catching his breath, removing his hands from Sugizo’s chest and placing one on his own heaving chest.

“Inhaler,” was all he could manage to get out, laying against the back of the couch, almost gasping.

The guitarist wasted no time jumping up from the couch and running to Heath’s room, scooping up every inhaler he could find on the dresser. He returned to his friend’s side and held them all out so that Heath could pick the one he needed.

“Gray one,” he whispered and made the motion of shaking it—his way of asking Sugizo to do it for him. The guitarist did and pulled the cap off, handing it over and trying to help any way he could.

Heath took two puffs from the inhaler, trying to breathe as deeply as possible to get the medicine into his lungs. He then whispered, “blue one” and did the same procedure, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate on breathing.

Sugizo stayed close, rubbing Heath’s arm in a comforting gesture, keeping a close eye on his friend. He knew what it felt like to have a lot of trouble breathing and how scary it could be.

“This sucks, I know…just be calm and breathe,” he coached after Heath had coughed several times.

The guitarist was severely allergic to bee stings and carried an EpiPen everywhere he went just in case. One sting would usually cause a bad reaction which included serious breathing problems. He’d already been hospitalized briefly on more than one occasion due to his allergy, so he understood how Heath was feeling.

After several minutes though, the bassist began to recover. He opened his eyes and looked at his good friend, starting to feel better.

“Sorry about that,” he whispered, placing a hand on Sugizo’s thigh.

“No no…please don’t apologize. I should’ve known better—you’re still recovering,” the guitarist said.

“’Zo…no. It’s my fault. I was supposed to use my inhalers hours ago and I just forgot. That’s on me—not you.” He paused and took another deep breath. “Besides, I was enjoying myself.” Heath smiled and squeezed the thigh under his hand.

He reached up to push his hair back and Sugizo noticed that he wasn’t all that steady.

“You’re shaking…” he commented.

“Yeah…the meds do that. It’ll go away. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed that before now,” Heath commented, taking a drink to get rid of the taste.

Sugizo just shook his head. “We should probably go to bed now—it’s late.”

“You coming with me?” the bassist asked with a grin, eyebrows raised.

“You wanting a repeat of what just happened?” the auburn-haired man asked.

“No, I guess not. Ah well, another night then, huh?”

Sugizo smiled. “When you’re fully recovered…I’m gonna wear you out. You best believe it.”

“Promise?” Heath asked, leaning over to kiss him one more time.

“Mmm hmm…promise.”

With that, they both got up from the couch, turned off the TV and the lights, and headed toward the bedrooms.

“You need any help?” Sugizo asked quietly when they got to the guest room.

“No, I’m fine, really. See you in the morning, ‘kay?”

“Okay. Sleep well,” the guitarist added, leaning in to give the man one more gentle kiss.

Getting back to his own bedroom, Sugizo decided that a hot shower would probably help relax him some since he’d gotten stressed over Heath’s sudden breathing issue.

It worked to a good degree as he felt better as soon as he got out. He grabbed a towel to dry his hair and walked around to the sink to brush his teeth. Pulling the towel off of his head, he was greeted by a surprise: a big heart drawn in the steam on the mirror, “S + H” written in the middle.

_‘Okay, that’s one of two people—Hide or Heath—cause I know Luna’s asleep,’_ he thought.

“Hide…this your artwork?” he asked, waiting to hear that familiar voice.

When he didn’t hear anything right away, he pushed on with brushing his teeth. Midway through though, he got his answer.

“Of course it was me—who else?!” Hide said, becoming visible leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed.

The suddenness of the response startled the guitarist who turned around, toothbrush still in his mouth. Hide scanned him up and down, a mischievous grin appearing on his face as he surveyed Sugizo’s naked body.

“Mmm…still hot, I see,” his pink-haired friend surmised.

Sugizo turned and put the toothbrush down and rinsed his mouth.

“You think so?” he asked, turning back around, completely unashamed of his nudity in front of his friend.

“Absolutely…but as I can’t have you, I guess I’m okay with you and Heath.”

“Well, I don’t know if he really wants me for anything but sex, but…we’ll see.”

“Sugi, hit yourself upside the head for me, okay? You won’t feel it if I do it,” Hide began. “What does it take for you to get a hint? Our old friend in there is definitely interested in you. Can’t you see that?”

“In all the years we’ve known each other, he’s never acted like he wanted to _date_ me…just _fuck_ me. Why would I think anything’s changed?”

“People change. Look, he’s not having any luck and neither are you. What would it hurt to give it a go?” Hide asked. “I think you’re lovely together.”

Sugizo smiled. “I’m glad to know you approve, seriously. You gonna play matchmaker and convince him now? Oh, and while you’re at it, make sure The Princess doesn’t come down on us for being together…provided it happens.”

Hide rolled his eyes. “Like he’s got any room to talk…”

“Never stopped him before,” Sugizo answered.

“Yeah, if I need to talk to him, I will. And I don’t think Heath will take much convincing actually, but I can talk to him too.”

“Just don’t tell Heath I put you up to it, okay?” the auburn-haired man requested.

Sugizo got a smirk in answer to that. “Please…I do know that.”

“Sorry,” he said, chuckling at the indignant look on Hide’s face.

Starting to get chilled from standing around stark naked, Sugizo grabbed his robe and walked to his bed, turning down the covers. He slipped in and got comfortable, trying and failing to stifle a yawn.

“You get some sleep and leave it to me. See you soon, ‘kay?” Hide said, placing a kiss on the man’s lips.

“Okay, love you,” Sugizo replied, loving that he could at least feel a tingle from the kiss.

Hide gave him a sweet smile and tilted his head in that Hide sort of way. “Love you too, Sugi.” With that, he faded from view.

The man could feel himself starting to tear up again, but there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t help how he felt. He dried his eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep, beginning to dream.

_______________

Next morning when Luna got up, she went into the kitchen for breakfast and found a bit of a mess. The living room too was in disarray—not like her dad at all.

“Men…” she mumbled and started picking up the dishes and cans that were laying around as well as straightening the couch out.

_‘What did they get up to in here last night?’_ she wondered as she worked. “I guess they’re sleeping in this morning,” she said, checking the clock on the wall, but just as she was making a cup of tea for herself, she heard a shower start.

“Well, _someone’s_ up.”

Eventually, a robed and toweled Heath appeared in the kitchen, looking for coffee.

“Morning, Uncle Heath,” Luna said brightly, kissing him on the cheek. “Can I get you some breakfast?”

“Morning, Sweetie. No, I just want coffee for right now. I can’t eat first thing in the morning,” Heath responded, stifling a yawn.

Once he’d gotten his coffee, he settled down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. Luna, who was still working around in the kitchen, turned and watched him for several moments. Even though he looked a bit odd with his hair up in a towel, she still found him quite attractive—especially now that he was mostly healthy again.

“Your papa awake yet?” he asked, startling her slightly.

“No, not that I know of. How late were you boys up last night anyway?” she asked with a grin.

“Oh, pretty late…watched a couple of movies, ate a lot of popcorn, had a breathing problem, scared your dad, went to bed…” Heath answered, grinning as he raised his cup to his lips.

Luna raised her eyebrows and gave him a serious look. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Just forgot to use my inhalers until it was too late—I think your dad probably has a few new gray hairs this morning. I’m okay though, don’t worry.”

“As long as you’re sure…” she responded, turning to look down the hall when she heard random noises coming from the direction of her dad’s room.

“Papa? You awake?” she called. “Coffee?”

Sugizo shuffled down the hallway in his silk robe and sandals, scratching his head. “Please,” he said in a half whisper, looking like he hadn’t slept all that well.

“Morning, Lovely…you look rough,” Heath surmised.

“Thanks, I feel rough,” the man responded, rubbing his forehead and then his eyes. “Didn’t sleep well and now my allergies are acting up.”

“Aww, Papa—I’m sorry. Did you take something?” Luna asked.

“Yeah, just waiting for it to kick in,” Sugizo said, plopping down on the barstool next to Heath. “How’re you feeling this morning?” He reached over and ran his hand partway down his friend’s arm.

“I’m good. And yes, I’ve already taken my meds and used my inhalers this morning.”

“Good—let’s not repeat last night, okay?” Sugizo said. “Well, the breathing issue anyway—the rest of the evening was great,” he said with a grin, winking at Heath when Luna wasn’t looking.

She pushed a cup of coffee prepared just the way he liked it over to him and smiled. “Breakfast?”

“Just coffee for now, thanks,” he responded, taking his first sip and closing his eyes to enjoy it.

“So what kept you awake? Not bad dreams, I hope,” Heath asked.

“A couple, yeah. Don’t really remember them now, but they woke me up.”

“Not about me…” Heath said, looking concerned.

Sugizo shrugged. “I don’t know—could’ve been. I know Hide was involved in at least one of them, though.” He shook his head and took another drink.

Heath knew there was nothing he could say to make that any better, so he just kept quiet for the moment. That’s one thing all of the band members had in common: dreaming about Hide. The problem was, regardless of whether the dream was a happy or sad one, they always ended up being at least a little sad afterward. Even after all the time that had passed, there was still that hole in their hearts and lives.

“Did you get to talk to him again? I mean for real, not in the dream,” Heath asked.

“I talked to him before I got in bed last night, yeah. That’s probably why I dreamed about him,” Sugizo responded.

“I wonder why I haven’t seen him in a while. He’s not upset with me, is he?”

“Hmm? No. Why would he be?”

Heath shrugged. “I don’t know, I just wonder why he hasn’t visited me lately.”

“Well, he’s looked in on you every single night, at least once—he’s told me that. Maybe he just doesn’t want to keep you awake since you’re still recovering,” Sugizo hypothesized.

“Could be. So what did you guys talk about?” the bassist asked, getting up to refill his cup.

_“Damn…what do I say?”_ Sugizo thought, not wanting to reveal the subject matter of his latest conversation with Hide.

“Oh, he was just making sure you were okay after that episode you had last night. He caught me coming out of the shower,” the guitarist said with a chuckle. “Stared at me naked for a while, made comments, you know…Hide.”

Heath had to laugh. Behavior like that was certainly right up their old friend’s street. He was infamous for staring holes through people in compromising positions and making rude, sarcastic, or just downright weird comments.

“What did he say?” Heath asked with a chuckle, taking the towel off of his head and letting his damp hair hang around his shoulders.

“Well…he said I was still hot,” Sugizo admitted with a grin.

“You are,” Heath responded in a low voice, but not so low that he wasn’t heard. He immediately raised his coffee cup up to his lips and took a long sip.

“What was that?” the auburn-haired man asked, a sly grin beginning to cross his face.

“Did I say that out loud?”

“Yup, sure did.”

Heath smiled shyly and then quickly scanned the room to make sure they were alone. He then tilted his head and placed a soft, sweet kiss on Sugizo’s lips.

“I said ‘you are’,” he whispered, gazing into the other man’s dark eyes.

The guitarist smiled warmly, beginning to play with his friend’s long, dark locks just a bit.

“So are you,” Sugizo assured his friend, leaning in to kiss him again. This one lingered a bit longer.

Unbeknownst to the two men, these little kisses had not gone unnoticed by the other occupant of the house who had a straight shot view of the proceedings from the doorway of her room. Even down the length of the hallway, she could still see quite well, though she couldn’t hear them. Luna watched for a second, eyes growing a bit wide, and then slipped back into her room, fist pumping with a triumphant, yet silent, ‘YES!’. She even did a little happy dance around her bedroom.

_‘About damn time,’_ she thought to herself.

After thinking about things for quite a while, she decided to enlist some help. Sitting on her bed, she remembered what she had seen her dad do when he wanted to contact the other side. She nervously took a deep breath and closed her eyes. After remaining silent for a few moments, Luna opened her eyes and began speaking in a low, calm voice.

“Uncle Hide, can you hear me? I want to talk to you about my dad and Heath. Are you around?”

She sat quietly and tried to be calm and patient, but her nerves were a little on edge. She’d never tried to speak with a spirit before—at least, not by herself.

“Uncle Hide…are you here? Please come talk to me,” she asked again.

The light in her room flickered a couple of times and then the TV suddenly popped on by itself. Luna jumped and looked around her room but didn’t see anything yet.

“I’m here…will you be frightened if I appear?” a quiet voice asked.

She swallowed hard. “N-no…I’ll be okay,” she answered, mentally preparing herself to see her uncle once again.

The desk chair which was parked under her computer desk across the room began to turn around slowly so that the seat was facing her. As she watched from her bed, what appeared to be a mist began to form around the chair, gradually becoming a recognizable form. After half a minute or so, a translucent Hide sat in her desk chair, smiling at her but looking somewhat ill at ease.

“You’re not afraid, are you?” he asked, still concerned about frightening Sugizo’s baby girl.

“No, I’m okay,” Luna answered quietly. “You’re kinda see-through…are you weak? Anything I can do to help?”

Hide smiled. “So much like your dad… No, I just didn’t want to suddenly appear full-on and frighten you. Sugi would be pissed if I scared you.”

He then became more solid-looking, appearing like she had seen in countless photos of him online. Luna gave him a big smile and pointed behind him at the computer monitor.

“Turn on the computer screen,” she requested and he complied, though she wasn’t sure how he did it. As the desktop image appeared, she said, “See? I haven’t changed the photo you put there. It’s one of my favorites!”

Hide smiled back at her. “I’m so glad. I wish I could’ve been here with you all these years, Sweetie.”

Luna nodded and looked thoughtful.

“Come over here by me,” she requested, waving her hand to beckon him closer.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yes…I’m sure.”

“You’re a brave, sweet girl. Okay, but if I make you nervous, just tell me,” Hide responded, moving across the floor to the foot of the bed where he stopped and appeared to sit.

“Papa’s been telling me more about you since I’ve gotten older. Mom wouldn’t let me watch videos of you guys when I was younger, but Papa always did. And the couple of things he’s always told me about you over and over is how good of a person you were…I mean _are_ …and that no matter what anyone says, you didn’t mean to hurt yourself. That it was a stupid, terrible accident and nothing more. He says you would _never_ have done that intentionally.”

Hide gave her a warm smile and nodded. “I wish I could hug you right now. And yes, Sugi is right. Yoshi, Toshi, Pata, Heath, and everyone else that knows me well says the same thing and they’re right—it was an accident. I’m glad you know that.” He paused and just looked at her for a few brief seconds, noticing how much she did resemble her dad.

“So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about? Sugi and Heath?”

“Yes,” she responded. “I’ve just caught them kissing in the kitchen.”

Hide tilted his head and tried to read her expression. “Aaaaand are we happy or upset by that?”

She smiled widely. “Oh I’m happy! I adore Heath and I think he and Papa would make a fabulous couple! Don’t you?”

“For sure!” he said with an impish grin. “They should’ve been together years ago, if you want my opinion.”

“Right?! So how are we gonna make sure they get together and _stay_ together? I mean, a little fooling around is one thing, but they need to be a couple.”

“I couldn’t agree more, girlfriend,” Hide said with a chuckle which caused Luna to laugh in return. “I’m glad we see eye to eye on this. I already told Sugi that I would talk to Heath. Your dad is all for it, by the way—just have to find out where Hi-Chan stands.” He paused and then added, “Oh and then hope that Yoshi doesn’t have an issue with them being together.”

She looked utterly surprised. “Why would Uncle Yoshi care if they’re together?”

“Well…Yoshi has always discouraged guys in the same band from getting into relationships because if there’s a bad breakup, it can sometimes ruin the band.”

Luna’s mouth twisted into a very Sugi-like smirk, Hide thought.

“Oh but I guess it’s different for him though, right? ‘Do as I say, not as I do’. Is that the idea?” she said with a good dose of sass in her voice.

Hide couldn’t help but laugh. “You know The Princess well, I see.”

“Hypocrite. He had a thing with you and now he and Uncle Toshi are joined at the hip, but it’s not okay for anyone else? I don’t freakin’ think so…”

“Trust me, if he starts making trouble for the boys, I’ll give him a talking to,” Luna’s pink-haired uncle promised.

“How do your conversations with him go, anyway?”

“Haven’t had any…I don’t want to upset him…” he paused and thought for a moment. “How much do you know about Yoshi’s mental state?”

“Well…Papa says that he’s very high strung and emotional, but that he’s always been that way. He calls it ‘artistic temperament’. I call it being a drama queen…”

Hide had a good laugh at such a blunt statement coming from the teenager. “You’re both right. Some of that ‘temperament’ is what makes him such an amazing musician, but it also means he’s kinda fragile emotionally. He gets overwhelmed and then his anxiety goes through the roof. That’s why we’ve always been careful with him even though he hates it when we do that.”

“He can be strong when he needs to be though, can’t he? I mean, he’s been through a _lot_ and he keeps going, so there must be some strength there somewhere,” Luna responded.

“Oh for sure…but that doesn’t mean it’s good to push the envelope. That’s why I haven’t made my presence known to him just yet. I want to, but I have no idea how he’ll react, so I’ve been waiting. One thing I’m very glad of though is how well Sugi and Heath reacted to me…and now I can add you to that list,” he said with a smile.

She bowed slightly and smiled back at him. “This is still new to me, but I trust you…you’re my uncle.”

“Good. And I will talk to Heath like I promised—probably tonight. Don’t worry though, I think he’s interested. He and your dad have a lot of history together and I believe it’s laid a good foundation for a relationship.” He paused. “You, ummm, do know that they have history, right?”

“They’ve dated before? That’s not what Papa told me.”

“Umm no, not dated exactly—but they’ve been together, if you get my meaning. But aside from that, they’ve leaned on each other during difficult times, so like I said—there’s history there.”

Luna thought about that for a second and then it dawned on her what he meant. With raised eyebrows, she looked back at him with a questioning look.

“Okaaay…so you’re saying that my dad and Heath have slept together but not dated, right? And I’m guessing you mean multiple times.”

Hide knew at that point that he shouldn’t have brought that up with her in the first place, but it was too late now. He wasn’t going to lie to her though.

“Yes, Baby—that’s what I mean. But please don’t think badly of either one of them because of it. Doing what we do…umm, I mean what _they_ do for a living can be very lonely. People don’t understand that. It can be really difficult to find someone to date and schedules sometimes don’t allow for a lot of personal time. That’s why a lot of musicians end up together. Seeking comfort in someone’s bed doesn’t make you a slut like your mom accuses your dad of. Your dad is a good man and I know he’s been pretty lonely since I…left. Heath has always been good for him and it’s time they were together on a permanent basis.”

He smiled at her, reaching out to stroke her face. “I have to go now…I’m getting a bit weak. I’m usually around though, even if you can’t see me. Just call out to me when you want to talk and I’ll give you a sign that I’m here, okay?”

“Okay, I’ll do that. Thank you for talking with me, Uncle Hide. And thank you for being honest with me—I’m not a kid anymore and I need to know how things really are.”

With that, Hide blew her a kiss and then faded from sight, leaving Luna sitting on her bed alone. But just as she was getting up to go see what her dad and Heath were up to, she heard a quiet voice speaking to her.

“Oh yeah, one more thing, Luna. You’re a young lady now and even though I’m a spirit, I’m still a gentleman. Just know that I will _never_ spy on you or watch you sleep or anything creepy like that. I might check on you once in a while, but I will only come into your room when you _invite_ me in, okay? I just want you to know that,” Hide’s voice said.

“Hadn’t even thought about that, but okay…thank you. I appreciate that. Love you!” she answered.

“Love you too, Sweetheart,” he responded and then everything was quiet.

_______________

“Luna, honey…you need to be getting ready to go. We’re supposed to meet at the restaurant at 13:00, remember?” she heard her dad say from the hallway.

“Yes, I remember. What should I wear?” Luna asked.

“It’s a fairly nice place, so wear something a little dressy. You don’t have to wear an actual dress though,” Sugizo answered through the door.

He walked back down the hallway to the kitchen where Heath was still sitting after they’d had a bit of breakfast.

“Are you sure you want me to go along for this? You can just drop me off at Yoshi and Toshi’s for a couple of hours, ya know,” Heath asked.

“You don’t have to come if you’d really rather not, but actually…I’d love to have you with me. I don’t want to see Reina as it is, so having you there would be helpful,” the guitarist answered, putting the dishes into the sink.

The time had come for Reina’s first supervised visitation with Luna and Sugizo was certainly not looking forward to facing his ex-wife again, but as it was part of the court order, he had to comply.

“No, if you want me there, I’ll go,” Heath started. “You don’t think it’ll cause any issues though, do you? Like give her any ideas of anything she could use against you?”

“No, you’re my friend. Hell, I think I’ve known you as long—if not longer—than I’ve known her. What’s she gonna say?”

“Knowing her, she’ll find something. But like I said, if you want me there, I’m there. Better start getting dressed, though,” the bassist remarked, checking the time on the wall clock.

“True.”

“Wear something sexy…show her how bad she fucked up…” Heath added with a chuckle.

Sugizo grinned and rolled his eyes at the suggestion. “I might just do that,” he replied on the way to his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luna is my spirit animal, I swear... :D Such a sharp tongue sometimes and she's only fifteen. LOL
> 
> Be sure to leave a comment if you're so inclined! I love hearing from you all! :3


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He turned toward her in his pushed-back chair. He had purposely draped his long, slender frame across the chair, black silk shirt gaping open slightly to reveal a couple of silver necklaces, legs crossed showing shapely, bare ankles and tattoos. He lazily sipped a glass of red wine and watched her approach. 
> 
> ‘Yeah, she’s lookin’…go on and look, bitch,’ he thought to himself as she got closer.

“Sugizo-San, please wait here while we check out the restaurant. Be right back,” Koki said to his charge as he and Hiroto got out and met the other SUV carrying Kiyoshi, Itsuki, and Yuki. Three of the men went in to quickly check the building while the others, including drivers Hinata and Yuki, stayed outside to keep watch.

“Is all this really necessary?” Luna asked her dad from her place in the back seat between him and Heath.

“Yes, honey, it is. At least for now,” Sugizo answered. He was accustomed to having security all around him while on tour, going through airports and train stations, and just about any time they were out in public, but he knew it was all new for his daughter.

“They’re just here to make sure nothing happens. There’s three of us, so there has to be enough of them to cover us all plus drivers. Just wait until you go out on tour with us this summer…talk about a mob,” her dad said with a chuckle.

“So true,” Heath started with a laugh. “You wouldn’t think my skinny butt would need two bodyguards, but that’s what I get whenever we go out.”

Luna listened to them both and then looked up at her dad with a big grin. “So I _am_ gonna get to go with you this summer? Really?!”

“A promise is a promise,” Sugizo said with a wide smile. “It’ll be fun. Not gonna be a long tour, but I think you’ll enjoy it.”

“Where all are we going?” she asked, nearly bouncing in her seat.

“That’s still being worked out but we’re thinking China, Thailand, maybe Indonesia, and of course, several cities in Japan.”

“Ooh, that sounds like a good tour,” Heath remarked.

“Are you coming, Uncle Heath?”

“Me? No, that’s for Luna Sea, not X,” the bassist replied.

Luna pouted slightly. “Aww, wish you could. We’d all have a great time together.”

“Well…” Sugizo started but was interrupted when Koki came back with Hiroto and opened the back doors for the three of them to get out.

“Everything’s in order. We can all go in now, Sugizo-San,” he reported, standing aside for the guitarist and his daughter to exit the SUV. Heath was helped out by Hiroto on the other side and they all walked into the building together.

Waiting not far from the front doors was Reina, who smiled warmly when she caught sight of her daughter. She tried to hold that smile as she looked first at Sugizo and then Heath, but she seemed to be having trouble. To her credit though, she was able to maintain a pleasant expression.

“Luna! Hi, Sweetheart!” she said, hugging the girl tightly.

Luna returned the hug, though she wasn’t quite as enthusiastic as her mother. Reina then looked up into the face of her ex-husband.

“Yune. You’re looking well.”

“Reina,” the auburn-haired man responded, giving her a small nod. “Thank you.”

She then looked over at the other man standing there.

“Heath. Good to see you again.”

The bassist gave her a small bow, but didn’t speak from behind his mask.

Luna began to get a little more nervous the longer they all stood there looking at each other. She vividly remembered how things had gone at the courthouse not very long ago and she didn’t want a replay right here in the restaurant.

“Come on, Mom—let’s eat! I’m starving!” she said, taking her mother’s hand and encouraging her to move.

“Okay, okay! You’re always hungry, I swear!” Reina said with a chuckle and turned and walked with Luna over to the hosts’ station. To Sugizo’s relief, they were seated immediately.

Turning to Heath, the guitarist made a quick snarling face that caused the other man to chuckle and then stepped up to the host so that they could get their table.

“We need to sit in sight of my daughter, please,” he asked nicely, indicating who he was referring to and was quickly placed at a table only about 15ft. away from where Luna and Reina were already sitting and talking.

“This will do nicely, thank you,” Sugizo said, being his usual courteous self. He made sure to make eye contact with Luna so that she knew exactly where he was should she need him.

“So far so good,” Heath said, picking up the menu. “At least she was civil.”

“Yeah, true. You should’ve seen her at the courthouse, though. I truly believe she would’ve ripped my throat open if she could’ve gotten away with it.”

Heath raised his eyebrows and looked intently at him. “There would be nowhere for her to run if she ever did hurt you—you know that, right?”

Sugizo gave a small shrug. “I just hope she’s not _that_ stupid. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about her. Let’s talk food—I’m starving!”

“You’re always hungry…I swear,” Heath said, giving his friend a wink.

Over at the other table, the conversation was going surprisingly well. Luna hadn’t known exactly what to expect out of her mother, so she was understandably tense at first. To her surprise though, Reina was being quite calm and congenial.

“So how’s school going? Anything new?” Reina asked.

“Not bad. Still trying to work on my math grades, but history, literature, and language are all going well.”

“Good, good. Do you have everything you need over at your dad’s? For school, I mean.”

“Oh yeah…Papa bought a new computer and desk for me, so I have a great study area in my room. He also arranged an area in the living room for me as well, so if I don’t want to stay in my room, I can be out there,” Luna informed her mother.

“That sounds like a good setup. So is your dad actually getting up and taking you to school every morning?” Reina asked with a laugh. “I can’t imagine that.”

“Most mornings he goes with us, yes. Sometimes it’s just my driver and whoever is spending the morning with me.” Her mother looked confused, so Luna explained. “The security detail—the guys that came in with us? One of them is with me at all times during the day while I’m at school.”

Reina gave her a surprised look. “Oh? What on earth for? What makes your dad think you need that?”

Luna shrugged. “He says that’s the way it has to be for now. I don’t mind, actually. They’re all really nice guys.” She leaned in a bit. “And two or three of them are really cute,” she added with a giggle.

Reina gave her a small smile and shook her head. “I guess your dad is worried about you.”

“Yeah, but he says he’s trying not to be overprotective.”

“Having armed guards isn’t being overprotective? Seriously?”

“Well…it’s only when we all go out. They don’t hang around the house or anything unless Papa calls them. He and Heath say they’re used to having security around, so they don’t really even notice,” Luna told her mom.

“Sounds like Heath’s around quite a bit,” Reina remarked, clearly fishing for information.

The girl nodded. “He’s been staying with us since he was released from the hospital. He’s finally doing better, but he still has another week or so before he can stay by himself.”

“In that small apartment? How do you have room?”

“Small? Mom, it’s a three-bedroom condo. Papa’s place is bigger than your house, he just doesn’t have a yard. We have plenty of room, don’t worry.”

“I just thought your dad would want to spend all of his time with you since it’s a new situation for you both,” Reina stated.

“We have lots of time together. But see, the only way the doctors would release Heath was if he had someone with him at all times for at least two weeks. He nearly died, Mom. If Papa hadn’t gotten to him when he did…he might be gone.”

Reina could see how serious her daughter was and decided that she must be telling the truth.

“Wow. I’m glad he’s doing better then. He does look a little pale, from what I could tell.” She paused and changed the subject. “Any plans yet for summer? What are you gonna do all day once school’s out?”

“Not totally sure yet. I think Papa’s planning for us to go somewhere, but he hasn’t decided exactly where yet,” Luna responded, deciding not to give her too much information about that.

“I hope I get to see you some too. I do miss you, Luna,” Reina responded.

“Oh I’m sure we can work something out. I’ll talk to Papa and see what he says.”

Once their meal was done and they’d talked about everything they could think of, Reina and Luna decided it was time to go. Instead of leaving right away, however, Luna’s mom said she needed to speak to Sugizo, much to Luna’s chagrin.

“I’m just going to speak to your dad before I go,” Reina said, pushing her chair back under the table.

“Mom…don’t. Please…” Luna begged quietly, not sure what her mom wanted to speak to her dad about, but she didn’t have a good feeling about this.

“It’ll be fine,” was all that Reina would say as she started toward Sugizo and Heath’s table.

The bassist saw her first.

“Don’t look now, but here comes the ol’ black-eyed witch,” he said into his water glass as he took a sip.

Sugizo moaned and rolled his eyes. He turned toward her in his pushed-back chair. He had purposely draped his long, slender frame across the chair, black silk shirt gaping open slightly to reveal a couple of silver necklaces, legs crossed showing shapely, bare ankles and tattoos. He lazily sipped a glass of red wine and watched her approach.

_‘Yeah, she’s lookin’…go on and look, bitch,’_ he thought to himself as she got closer.

Heath stifled a chuckle by coughing. He could clearly see what his good friend was doing and he wholeheartedly approved.

_‘Work it…own it,’_ he thought, himself giving the guitarist the once over not for the first time that afternoon.

“Hi again—just wanted to say thank you for letting Luna and I see each other. As you might imagine, I’ve been missing her a lot, so thank you,” Reina said in a pleasant voice when she reached their table.

“Well, she wanted to see you, so I’m happy to arrange things for her,” Sugizo responded, not moving much from his relaxed position.

“Heath, it’s good to see you’re doing better. Luna was telling me how seriously ill you’d been,” the woman said, a concerned look on her face. “I bet that was really scary for everyone.”

“It was—I’ve never been so sick in my life. ‘Zo here saved my life, that’s for sure,” the bassist responded, lifting his glass in Sugizo’s direction.

“A life worth saving,” the auburn-haired man said warmly. Turning to Luna who had taken a seat at their table, he asked, “So did you both have a good visit?”

She nodded. “Yep, sure did. Good food too—I like this place!” the teenager responded.

“Good, I like this place too,” he said, smiling at his daughter. “We can make this a regular stop if you want.”

Luna nodded and grinned. “I still want a coffee though.”

“Coffee? Since when do you drink coffee?” Reina asked.

“Lattes—they’re mostly milk,” Sugizo informed his ex, looking up at her from the same position he’d held since she walked over.

“Okay, we’ll stop for coffee on the way out. Are you ready to go?” he asked his daughter. She nodded and looked over at Heath, receiving a nod in return.

“I’d better get going myself. Call me sometime this week?” Reina asked Luna, leaning down to give her a hug.

“Sure. After school one day,” the girl replied.

With that, Sugizo’s ex said goodbye to each of the men in turn and walked out of the dining room, leaving the three of them sitting at the table.

“Well…” Luna’s dad said, not sure what else to say at that moment.

The teenager shrugged. “She was nice enough, didn’t you think?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m a bit stunned, to tell the truth.”

He motioned for the security detail who had been sitting close by, letting them know that they were ready to leave.

“Let’s go get that coffee, Little Miss,” Heath said with a grin, walking behind her and Sugizo.

Just outside the doors of the restaurant, the two musicians were timidly approached by a small group of young ladies who desperately wanted pictures with them. Sugizo looked over at Heath and shrugged.

“Sure, why not?” he said in his characteristically kind voice.

“Luna, stay right with me, please,” Koki said, realizing that this was just the kind of distraction that someone might use to snatch the young girl.

Hearing this, Sugizo turned and nodded. “Thank you, Koki-San.”

Luna didn’t mind one bit as Koki was one of the aforementioned ‘two or three of them are really cute’.

Just as the guitarist was putting his arms around two of the young ladies, he noticed Reina’s car moving toward the street close by. Knowing she couldn’t help but see what was going on, he took the opportunity to pull the girls in just a little closer, giving them both nice hugs and smiling. Heath was doing the same thing, even taking his mask off temporarily for the pictures.

“Such hams…” Luna muttered and shook her head, laughing.

Once all of the girls had gotten their turn, they all bowed and thanked Sugizo and Heath profusely, giggling and smiling, and left without incident.

“Okay now, boys…I want a turn,” Luna said, laughing, smiling and imitating the older girls that had just left. “Oh, Sugizo…oh, Heath…you’re both sooo handsome…” she mocked, giggling.

Standing between them, she was a little surprised when they both kissed a cheek each and Koki snapped a really good picture of it.

“Yep, that’s my new wallpaper for my phone,” she said, showing it to both of them and laughing. “Such hams,” she muttered again.

After getting coffee and going for an abbreviated walk in the nearby park due to Heath’s still-recovering lungs, the three of them headed back over to the bassist’s apartment to grab a few things for him.

He was dreading to see the condition of the place, knowing how bad it had gotten before he went to the hospital. Now it had been closed up for quite a while and he could only imagine how utterly nasty the place had become. Truth be told, he was extremely embarrassed that Toshi had seen it over a week ago when he’d first gotten discharged.

Stopping at his door, Heath unlocked it but paused before opening it.

“Damn, I wish you all had masks to put on. Why don’t you just wait here while I grab what I need. I’m embarrassed to let you guys see the place.”

“Hi-Chan, it can’t be _that_ bad. You worry too much,” Sugizo remarked.

Heath raised his eyebrows at his friend. “Worse than you think.”

“Come on, we won’t be here long anyway. Get it over with,” the guitarist said, waving Heath on.

The bassist sighed. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Pushing the door open, Heath moved slowly into the apartment, waiting for a bad sight or a bad smell to hit him, but to his surprise, the place was utterly immaculate. He took his mask loose on one side so that he could get a good whiff of the air and was surprised when it smelled fresh and clean.

“Okay…what the fuck?” Heath asked Sugizo, looking completely dumbfounded.

The guitarist smiled and chuckled at the expression on his friend’s face. “After Toshi came over last week, we all decided to have the place cleaned for you. Can’t have you coming back home to a mess, now can we? Soooo…Yoshi hired a service to come and steam clean the whole place—floors, windows, beds, bathrooms, everything. All of the bed linens, towels, and curtains have been either washed or dry cleaned, and the kitchen has been cleaned thoroughly. It’s all ready for you whenever you decide to come home…but we hope you’ll stay with us for a while longer. Don’t we, Luna?”

“Uh huh. We definitely want you with us for at _least_ another week—maybe more,” she answered and gave her uncle a big hug which he readily returned.

“Wow, that’s so thoughtful of you guys—thank you so much,” Heath said, looking around at how spotless everything was. “Doesn’t look like they moved stuff around too much either. Everything seems to be right where I left it.”

“Oh, you have Pata to thank for that. He came over and supervised while they cleaned. Watched everything they did and made sure they didn’t rearrange things too much,” Sugizo informed him.

Heath smiled and shook his head. “Good ol’ Pata. I need to see him and thank him for that. Anyway, let’s grab what I need and get outta here. It’s nearly dinnertime and Luna has school tomorrow.”

The teenager rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me…”

_______________

“Goodnight, sleep well,” Heath whispered, his hands running up Sugizo’s sides. They shared one more soft, sweet kiss at the door of his bedroom.

“If I thought I could control myself, I’d say we should share a bed tonight, but…” the guitarist paused and chuckled, “I know myself better than that. I wouldn’t be able to resist.”

Heath gave him a mischievous grin and tilted his head to whisper in his friend’s ear. “We only have to be patient for a little while longer. I’m getting stronger every day. Before long, I’ll be tying you to the headboard just like usual.”

His hot breath on Sugizo’s ear and neck made the auburn-haired man shiver. He captured Heath’s mouth in a deep, sensual kiss that left no question of his rising passion.

“You better get in that room before I ignore doctor’s orders and fuck you through the mattress…” he whispered, reluctantly moving away from the bassist’s slender body.

Heath grinned and winked at him as he moved through the doorway and started to close the door. “By the way, it’s not locked…goodnight…”

Sugizo closed his eyes and took a deep breath before moving to his own bedroom. “Now I’m gonna have to take care of this myself,” he said, rubbing a hand over his hardened shaft and heading for the shower.

In the other bedroom, Heath was just settling beneath the sheets and smiling to himself. It made him feel good that he could get his friend so worked up so easily.

_‘When we finally do fall into bed together, it’s gonna be a loooong night,’_ he thought to himself and smiled even broader, thinking about how much fun that would be.

_‘I’ve missed him, I can’t even lie about that. Him I won’t scare off, I know that,’_ he assured himself.

“Oh ‘Zo…” he mumbled after taking a few minutes to remember some of their past escapades.

“Oh ‘Zo what?” a voice said quietly, startling the bassist.

Raising his head and looking toward the door, he expected to see Sugizo peeking in the door. Instead, he found Hide sitting cross-legged at the foot of his bed.

“Hide…hi. Wasn’t expecting to see you,” he said, a little startled. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and faced his old friend.

“I just thought it was time I had a talk with you, little brother.”

“Oh? What about?”

“About you and a certain tall, hot guitarist who just happens to be in the next room,” Hide began. “Oh and it’s great to see you looking so much better, by the way.”

“Thank you—I feel a lot stronger now.” He paused and tilted his head as he looked at Hide. “What about ‘Zo?”

“So innocent…you know that won’t wash with me.”

“We’re just fooling around. Are you upset with me for that? I…I will totally back off if it upsets you,” Heath asked, wondering if maybe their old friend was jealous.

“Hi-Chan, do you think I’m that cruel? That I wouldn’t want Sugi to find someone else after all these years? I don’t want him to be alone just because I can’t be there with him.”

“Oh, good—cause I would back off if you really wanted me to,” the bassist said.

“No—what I’m concerned about is why you two aren’t together. What are you waiting for?”

“The doctor says I have to wait—” Heath started but was interrupted.

“No, no…not that,” Hide said while shaking his head. “I’m not talking about getting your rocks off—I’m talking about you two dating, being a couple. What’s the problem?”

“Oh…” Heath muttered and lowered his head.

“Yeah…oh. What do you mean, ‘oh’? You know the man adores you—and he’s a special one, take it from me. What are you waiting for, little brother?”

“He doesn’t want me for that,” Heath said in a low voice, eyes still downcast.

Hide looked skyward and sighed. “Give me strength,” he said and then looked back at the bassist. “Yeah, yeah he does…he doesn’t think _you_ want _him_ for that. I swear, if I could I’d grab you both and knock your heads together.”

“He does? But why?”

“Why? What do you mean ‘why’? _Why_ wouldn’t he?”

“Because relationship-wise, I’m an utter fuck-up. I can’t keep a girlfriend to save my life, or hadn’t you noticed?”

“Ummm, last I checked, which was a few minutes ago,” Hide waggled his eyebrows and grinned, “Sugi isn’t a girl. Trust me on this, I know these things. What he was doing to himself in the shower a girl can’t do…”

Heath raised his eyebrows and grinned at Hide. “Was he now?”

“Well, you did leave him high and dry…or rather hard and alone…hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do… Anyway, your track record with women isn’t the issue here.”

“Maybe not, but it sets a precedent,” Heath argued.

“Okay, listen—I can’t stay much longer, but I’ve got some ‘homework’ for you to do, young one. I want you to seriously think about why each of your relationships failed and then honestly ask yourself if those same scenarios would happen with Sugi. I’m betting they wouldn’t. Be honest with yourself. I’m not saying you’re perfect, but I’d be willing to bet in most cases it was the gold-digging bitches’ fault. Think about that.”

He moved over and got close to Heath’s face. “You deserve to be happy and so does Sugi. You’d make a lovely couple…consider it, huh?” With that, he leaned in and kissed the bassist’s lips, sending a tingle across his face.

Heath smiled and tilted his head. “Tickles. Love you, big brother…I promise, I’ll think about it, okay?”

“You better. It’s not like I’m gonna give up or anything…”

He blew him another kiss and faded from view, leaving Heath alone. He had homework to do…

_______________

Monday morning was going like most Monday mornings—slow and somewhat annoying. Luna had been late leaving for school owing to her inability to find her homework assignment that she’d been working on. She had searched the usual places—her computer desk in her room, the desk in the living room, and the dining room table with no luck. She finally located it on the coffee table in the living room, swearing she had no idea how it had gotten there. Sugizo wrote a note to her teacher explaining why the girl was late and sent her on with Hiroto and Koki.

“First time I’ve ever written a note to a teacher for Luna…” he grinned, returning to his coffee and conversation with Heath.

The bassist grinned back. “It’s the little things…”

“So, why are you up this early anyway?” Sugizo asked his friend, looking at the clock.

“No clue. I’ve been awake since about 6. Got tired of just laying there staring at the ceiling, so I got up.”

“The TV in there works, ya know.”

Heath chuckled. “I know. Guess I was just lost in thought for a while.”

“That sounds a bit ominous,” Sugizo said, fishing for a clue as to what was on his friend’s mind.

“Nah…not really. Just one of those ‘Hiroshi, what the hell are ya doing with your life’ talks.”

Sugizo raised his eyebrows. “Like I said, ominous. But wait…you call yourself Hiroshi but no one else is allowed to?”

“Yup,” he said plainly, taking another sip of coffee.

The guitarist just looked at him for several moments, not sure what to say.

“Hey, my name my rules. Don’t you call yourself Yune when you talk to yourself?” Heath asked.

“Well…yeah, I guess I do. But I don’t threaten someone within an inch of their lives if they use my first name…”

Heath just shrugged.

The guitarist smirked at his friend and walked over to refill his cup. Glancing at the calendar on the front of the refrigerator, he noticed a note stuck to today’s date. Reading it, he turned back to Heath.

“Hey, did you cancel or postpone your doctor’s appointment?”

“No, why?” the bassist answered.

“Because it’s today…in like an hour…” Sugizo announced, looking at the clock again to make sure he’d read it correctly.

“Oh shit! Can we still make it?”

“Ummm, yeah—we should be able to. Let me call the security guys and see if they can take us. If not, hell…I’ll just drive us myself,” the guitarist said, picking up his cell phone and dialing.

Heath got up and hurried to his room to get dressed while Sugizo talked.

“Well, I’ll just drive him myself. -- Can’t be helped. – Yeah, I know. – No, it’s short notice, I understand. No problem. – Sure, that’ll be fine. – Yes, the same office as last time. Thank you,” he heard his friend say.

“’Zo, are you sure it’s okay for you to drive me? I can get a taxi—I don’t mind,” Heath offered.

“Yeah, it’s fine. They’re going to meet us there. Besides, my car is getting lonely sitting in the garage. It needs to be driven,” the auburn-haired man said while walking towards his bedroom to get dressed. “We need to get moving though. You almost ready?”

“Yup, just need to brush my teeth. To hell with my hair, I’ll just wear a hat,” the bassist answered, not in the mood to worry with his long tresses.

Fifteen minutes later they were leaving the building, heading for the area of the garage where Sugizo’s car was parked.

“Hope I remember how to drive,” the guitarist joked. “It’s been a while.”

“Hope so too! It’d be a shame to wreck this nice car,” Heath said as they reached Sugizo’s pretty little black sportscar.

“I’ll figure it out,” the guitarist said with a chuckle and started up the willing engine. “So hopefully the doctor will release you today. Think he will?”

“I sure as hell hope so. I’m so tired of being poked and prodded and examined.”

_______________

Pulling into the parking lot with ten minutes to spare, Heath sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Agreed.”

Once Heath had checked in with the desk, he and Sugizo took a seat in the waiting room.

“See? She called you Hiroshi and you didn’t snap at _her_ ,” the guitarist quipped with a grin, referring to the receptionist.

“Oh, shut up.”

“I’m just saying… Maybe it’s because she’s cute, who knows?”

“Is she? I didn’t notice,” Heath said quietly. “Besides, I’m swearing off women for the foreseeable future.”

“Oh? Do tell,” Sugizo prompted, sounding very interested.

“Tired of the bullshit. I’m too old for that crap anymore,” he started but was interrupted by a nurse at the door calling his name.

The intake nurse took readings of Heath’s blood pressure, pulse, weight, and temperature.

“So, how am I doing?” he asked with a smile.

“Well…the readings look good. You’ve gained about five pounds since you were discharged, so that’s encouraging,” she reported. “The doctor will go over things in more detail though. He’ll be in to see you in just a few minutes.”

Once she’d left and pulled the door closed, Sugizo looked at Heath.

“Now, about that bullshit you’re tired of,” he prompted.

The bassist chuckled slightly. “I’ve just been doing some thinking off and on since Cami left. I’m tired of it all. Tired of trying to have a relationship and being treated like shit. I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.”

“Who says it’s you?”

Heath shrugged.

“Maybe it’s them. Maybe you should try playing for the home team for a change,” Sugizo suggested.

“I don’t know…”

Now it was Sugizo’s turn to shrug. “I’m not saying that same sex relationships are always better, but I think guys are just easier to deal with.”

“But you clearly haven’t found anyone who really does it for ya since you’re single and have been for a while,” Heath asserted. “No offense meant.”

Heath had a habit of being rather plainspoken—something his friend was accustomed to.

“No, I know what you’re saying. And no, I haven’t found _the one_ yet, but I’ve had a lot of fun looking!” the guitarist said with a big, sly grin. “Just haven’t been compatible for the long term. But you know what? The only times I’ve really been treated like crap was with women. Like I told you a couple weeks ago, I’m pretty much done with ‘the fairer sex’,” he said, complete with air quotes.

“If only the fan girls knew…” Heath replied with a chuckle, shaking his head and looking skyward. “Uh, come in,” he added, startled, in response to a knock at the door.

The now-familiar Dr. Yazaki came in, smiling at the two musicians he’d come to know over the past few weeks.

“Morie-San, Sugizo-San, good to see you both again. How’re you feeling lately?” he asked Heath. “Getting your strength back?”

“Not back to 100% yet, but getting there, thank you,” the bassist responded.

“That’s going to take a bit more time, but you seem to be doing well. Let’s check you out and see,” the doctor said.

Dr. Yazaki made a fairly thorough examination of his patient, listening to his heart and paying special attention to his lungs, looking carefully at his throat, and checking his eyes and ears. He asked lots of questions about the medications and Heath’s physical activity.

“Well, I’m pleased. You’re definitely doing well—better than I expected at this point, to be honest. Your vitals are all good and you’ve gained a little weight back, so that’s a good sign.”

They discussed diet and the doctor reminded Heath that he really needed to quit smoking less he do more damage to his lungs. He did clear the bassist to have a few adult beverages though.

“So I’m going to go ahead and release you today. I do want to give you a couple of immunizations today since you’ve been clear of symptoms for a while now. You’ll need to get these every year from now on, okay? You don’t want the flu or pneumonia again. But other than that, you can return to your normal routine, just be aware that you may have to take it easy for a bit longer—strenuous activity will still be too much for you for about another week or so. Just ease back into things.”

“So I don’t have to be babysat anymore?” Heath asked with a grin, looking over at Sugizo.

“Oh like you minded…” the guitarist quipped in return.

Dr. Yazaki chuckled at them both. “No, you can release Sugizo-San here from babysitting duty now. You’re free to go be by yourself.”

“Thank the heavens…” Heath said in mock relief. Sugizo just stuck his tongue out in response.

“Just remember to keep using your inhalers,” the doctor added, laughing at the two of them again.

Once Heath had gotten his vaccinations, the two men walked toward the exit.

“Hey, you can have a beer or two with lunch. Sound good?” the guitarist asked.

“Hell yes! And I’m actually hungry for a change,” Heath answered.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like I'm always apologizing for taking so long to update! I had to take a little break and do some reading of my own to try to overcome my writer's block. I can wholeheartedly recommend the "In the Ruins" universe by Yasunori! It's monumental and epic and I haven't even finished all of it yet! Block off some time and dive in! :D

Waking up the next morning, Heath’s mind went directly to Sugizo and his own relationship dilemma almost as soon as his eyes opened. The two men had enjoyed another brief session on the couch the night before once Luna had gone to bed.

The physical side of things between them wasn’t now nor ever had been an issue—it was just the idea of trying to have a real relationship with the man that had Heath nervous.

_‘Do I even want to try to have anything with anyone right now? Am I in the right frame of mind at the moment to decide anything? I know Hide said that ‘Zo was interested, but what exactly is he interested in? He’s such an amazing friend…what if we did start dating and I screwed it up somehow? I’d rather just keep it at friends with benefits than for him to be an ex and it change our friendship. But boy, do we ever have fun together…he’s such a horny bastard…just what I need.’_

Groaning and turning onto his side, he then began to think about things from a different perspective.

_‘So maybe it is just women that are the problem like ‘Zo says…but can dating other men really be that different? And what about the media getting ahold of that? It’s so hard to have any privacy in this business as it is. If it got out that I’m seeing another man, what would that do to me as a musician and the band? Yoshi wouldn’t be happy about that…even though everyone already knows about him and Toshi. They’ve just never confirmed anything publicly. Am I ready to come out as bi? Very few guys I know in this business have done that though the vast majority of them actually are bi. Guess I’d just have to keep everything secret—it’s no one else’s business anyway. Why do I care what other people think?’_

All of this was giving him a headache.

_‘Too much to think about before coffee,’_ he thought, tossing back the covers and sitting up on the side of the bed. He glanced at the clock and figured that Sugizo would be up by now and Luna was probably already gone to school.

_‘That’s another thing: how would Luna feel about ‘Zo and I dating? She likes me, I know that, but that’s as Uncle Heath—not as her Papa’s boyfriend. And oh god, would that give Reina ammunition…why must I overthink everything?!’_

Getting up and pulling on his robe, Heath walked toward the bedroom door, rubbing his head. Passing the chair, he noticed the little dry erase board that Yoshiki had given him sitting up in the seat with a word written on it. ‘HOMEWORK’ it read with a heart drawn underneath.

“Alright, big brother, alright…I’m working on it!” he said aloud, knowing that Hide would hear him. He chuckled and shook his head, walking out of the bedroom in search of coffee.

“Did you say something?” Sugizo asked as Heath wandered into the kitchen in socks and a robe.

“Hmm? Oh no, not really. Big brother leaving me cryptic messages, that’s all,” he answered with a smile.

The auburn-haired man chuckled. “Oh? He does the same to me.”

“It’s really nice to have him around again though, so I’m not complaining,” Heath said, getting a cup down and fixing his coffee.

“Luna managed to get off to school on time this morning, by the way. Oh and Yoshi, Toshi, and Pata are coming over and bringing lunch. Yo-Chan apparently wants a meeting.”

“Lovely,” the bassist said, deadpan, sitting on the next barstool. “Okay, that’s cool. It’s time we got back to work anyway.”

“Yeah, I’m figuring that they’re gonna want to talk about when we can go back in the studio. You think you’ll be up to it soon?”

“Oh sure—the doctor has released me to do whatever, so I’m sure I can get back to it soon. Besides, there’s nothing too terribly strenuous about sitting in a chair and playing,” Heath said with a laugh.

“Well, that’s true. Just putting up with perfectionists like Yoshi and me is the real challenge.”

The bassist rolled his eyes. “Oh god, isn’t that the truth?!”

Sugizo cocked an eyebrow at him. “A little quick to agree there, aren’t ya?”

“Hey, you speak the truth—though Yoshi is worse than you’ve ever had time to be. He’s that way in and out of the studio. At least you’re a chill person when you’re not working. I don’t know how Toshi deals, I really don’t.”

“Okay, I’ll take that,” the auburn-haired man said with a laugh. “And I agree about Tosh. I love Yo-Chan, but…”

Talking about his release from the doctor brought up something that Heath had decided he needed to speak to Sugizo about and now was as good a time as any.

“So…now that the doctor has released you from babysitting duty…I’m thinking I should be getting back to my own apartment pretty soon,” he said, waiting to see how his friend would react.

“Oh really?” Sugizo responded, sounding a little surprised.

“Well, yeah. You know I really appreciate you and Luna taking me in. You didn’t have to do that. I’m recovered enough now to go home and get out of your hair though and I feel like that’s what I should do.”

“What if I told you that I like you in my hair?” the guitarist shot back, smiling.

Heath smiled but wouldn’t be deterred. “I guess I just miss my place. It’s been weeks since I’ve spent the night in my own apartment and well, I’m kinda attached to it.”

Sugizo nodded. “I understand…I do. Luna is gonna miss her Uncle Heath something terrible though.” He paused and took a drink. “So is her dad, truth be told. So when are you wanting to make the move?”

“Oh, next few days. No huge rush. I thought maybe the three of us could go and do something fun together first. Just need to decide what.”

“Yeah, that’d be good—we’ll figure something out, I’m sure,” the guitarist said with a warm smile.

Finishing the coffee in his cup, Sugizo got up to get a refill. As he was walking behind his friend, he took the opportunity to push Heath’s hair aside and place a soft kiss on the back of the man’s neck. In response, Heath smiled and lowered his head, granting Sugizo better access. He placed a couple more soft, languid kisses along the bassist’s neck and then moved around just a bit to whisper slowly in his ear.

“Your skin…is so soft and warm…I’d love to kiss…and lick…you alllll over…” he said between kisses and small licks.

Sugizo’s hot breath caused Heath to shiver. He moaned quietly in spite of himself.

“Mmmm…I think I’d enjoy that. I was hoping you’d want to continue what we started last night,” the bassist responded in a whisper. “Too bad the guys are coming over.”

“Oh we’ve got some time before they get here,” Sugizo whispered, moving around to lightly kiss Heath’s lips once and then again.

The brunette sighed. “I know…but not enough. It’s been a while since we’ve been together,” he started, reaching up and playing with the hair that hung around Sugizo’s neck. “I want to take my time and ravish you properly,” he said as he leaned forward and kissed the guitarist deeply, moaning softly as he tasted him. Once their lips parted slightly, he finished with “and that will take some time.”

The auburn-haired man groaned deeply at the very thought. “Dammit, I’ve missed you…what the hell have we been doing?”

Heath smiled and stroked Sugizo’s face. He shrugged and said in a low voice, “Fucking up, apparently.”

“Apparently,” the guitarist said, standing up straight and coaxing the other man to stand as well. He then slipped his arms around Heath’s narrow waist and pulled him into a warm hug, laying his face against the bassist’s neck.

Heath wrapped his arms around Sugizo and returned the hug, loving the feel of the other man pressed against his body. They stayed like that for a couple minutes until Heath moved his hands around to untie his friend’s robe and pull it open. Finding a thin shirt underneath, he groaned in disappointment, but lifted it up a bit and began to caress the warm skin underneath.

Sugizo worked around Heath’s hands and untied the robe the bassist was wearing, finding nothing but boxer briefs underneath. He smiled and ran his hands around to caress the man’s sides and back. They ended up chest to chest, hands roaming all over, Sugizo’s face against Heath’s warm neck, gently kissing him.

“You still have that paddle?” Heath asked in a low voice. “I have a feeling you’re in need of some correction.”

The guitarist felt his cock twitch at the mere mention. He nodded against Heath’s neck. “I do…and I am. You know how bad I can be.”

The bassist nodded and slipped his hands down to grasp both round globes of Sugizo’s bottom. Pulling the man into him more firmly, he said, “I sure do. You’re my perpetually bad boy and I’ve been remiss in your discipline lately. Gonna have to rectify that situation very soon.”

The guitarist nodded against Heath’s neck once more. “Oh, please do,” he whispered.

“Such a misbehaving, bad little boy you are…” Heath said, a note of authority slipping into his voice.

“I know…I need a firm hand.”

“You sure do. I think it’s going to take me a while to get you straightened back out.”

“Whenever you’re ready…” Sugizo whispered, keeping his somewhat submissive posture.

Just as he was about to suggest that they get started on a little ‘discipline’, his phone began to ring. Groaning, he started to ignore it, but Heath advised otherwise.

“It might be the school, better answer it,” he said, removing his hands from Sugizo’s ass and gently pushing him in the direction of the phone.

“Hey Tosh—what’s up?” the guitarist said after seeing the vocalist’s name on the caller ID. “Uh huh…yeah, we’ll be here…sure, come on over whenever you want…I understand. Tosh, it’s no trouble, really…okay, see you then.”

Putting the phone down, Sugizo looked up at Heath. “So, Toshi is going to come on over in just a little bit. Says he needs to get away from the house.”

“Yoshi getting on his nerves again?”

“Something like that. He sounded a touch exasperated.”

Heath chuckled. “I don’t know how he does it. I love Yoshi, but I absolutely could _not_ live with him.”

“Right?!” Sugizo responded. “Guess we need to get dressed, huh?” he added, not sounding at all pleased about it.

“Yeah, I guess we do. Come here for a second first though,” Heath requested, a sly grin on his handsome face.

The guitarist moved over closer, beginning to grin himself. He’d seen that mischievous look on Heath before.

“Yes?” Sugizo asked.

Heath reached over and grasped a handful of Sugizo’s hair just above his neck and pulled him into a strong, demanding kiss while laying a firm swat on the guitarist’s ass with the other hand.

Still holding onto the man’s hair, Heath released Sugizo’s mouth but kept their lips almost touching. “Yes…what?” he asked in a firm tone.

The guitarist sucked in a quick breath when he felt another sharp smack on his ass. “Yes, sir,” he said breathlessly.

“That’s better,” Heath said, letting go of the handful of hair and taking Sugizo’s face in both of his hands. He kissed him gently and then caressed his face. “You’ll learn. Now, let’s get dressed before Toshi gets here.”

The guitarist groaned. “Okay…” he said, moving toward his bedroom.

Once there, he couldn’t help but feel excited by what had just transpired between them. Heath was definitely feeling better and back on form as evidenced by him slipping them both into a bit of a scene. It had always been fun to see how quickly Heath’s kink switch could be flipped.

_‘Doesn’t usually take much at all if you know how,’_ Sugizo thought to himself with a mischievous grin crossing his face.

He ran his hand over his ass cheek that was still stinging slightly.

“This is gonna be fun,” he said to himself, pulling off his sleep clothes and starting to get dressed.

About half an hour later, Sugizo’s phone rang. It was the Concierge letting him know that Toshi had arrived and was requesting access to the elevator.

“Yes, you can let Deyama-San come on up. Thank you,” he answered and turned toward Heath’s room. “Toshi’s on his way up. You dressed?”

“Yup, sure am,” Heath said, walking out of his room.

The guitarist turned to see his friend walking toward him looking more like his old self than he had since he’d gotten sick. Frayed jeans, sandals, long-sleeved t-shirt layered underneath a thin, short-sleeved one and he actually had on a couple of necklaces and a bracelet or two. His hair was flat but nicely brushed and he had on his regular eyeglasses. Nothing fancy, but Sugizo couldn’t help but notice how good and just ‘normal’ he looked.

“You’re looking rather fine today, Morie-San,” he said, bowing slightly to him and smiling.

Heath gave him a smirk. “This?” he said, indicating his outfit.

“All of it together, but especially this,” Sugizo said, leaning in and gently kissing the bassist’s lips.

“You’re biased.”

“Could be, could be. I can think of worse things to be.”

“You do smell good though,” Heath said, leaning in toward Sugizo’s neck to take another whiff.

The doorbell announced Toshi’s arrival at the door. The guitarist went to answer it as Heath walked with him toward the kitchen.

“Be interesting to see what kind of mood he’s in,” the bassist said.

“I’m guessing either frustrated or just outright pissed off,” Sugizo said just before pulling the door open. “Tosh, come in,” he said brightly.

“Hey Sugi, thanks,” the vocalist said, walking in, carrying a couple of grocery bags. When he saw his friend looking at them, he added, “Additions for your bar—for the meeting.”

“Ah, okay. Very nice, thanks!” he said, taking the bags from Toshi and walking toward the bar area of the dining room.

“I’m gonna need a couple of drinks beforehand, if you don’t mind,” the vocalist said, sounding rather exasperated.

“No, I don’t mind. Follow me!” Sugizo said, trying to be upbeat to cheer up his old friend.

“Hey, I could use one too!” Heath said, joining the two men in the dining room.

“Hi-Chan…you’re a sight for sore eyes. How are you, little brother?” Toshi asked, moving quickly over to the bassist and wrapping him in a big hug.

“Hey Toshi, I’m doing good,” Heath replied, returning the hug. “How’re you? ‘Zo said you sounded a little upset on the phone.”

Toshi rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’ll take some scotch please, Sugi,” he started and then turned back to Heath. “That man…sometimes I just want to strangle him.”

Sugizo walked over and brought each of them a good-sized drink of straight scotch and then picked up his own glass. He was about to suggest that they move into the living room or at least the kitchen when he saw Toshi toss back the entire glass and ask for another.

“Okay…no problem,” the guitarist said, eyebrows raised, as he dutifully took the glass from his friend and refilled it. “Let’s go into the kitchen and talk,” he said, handing the glass back to Toshi.

“So, what’s Princess done now?” Heath asked, taking a seat on one of the barstools.

Toshi let out a low growl and took another drink. Sugizo and Heath exchanged looks but didn’t say anything.

“Okay, so…I consider myself a patient man…and an understanding one,” he started while the two men nodded in agreement. “He’s been in his office at home working away all day yesterday and most of the morning. I leave him alone because I know he has a lot of things going on and I don’t want to interrupt, right?”

“Right,” Sugizo interjected.

“But something that I really needed to ask him about came up, so I went into his office to get an answer. He was on the phone, so I waited patiently by his desk until he finished the call, then I just said, ‘Hey, Yoshi’ intending on asking him my question and getting out of his way.” He paused and took another drink.

“You know what he said? The queen looks up at me, sighs loudly, and says, ‘What?! Did you need something?!’ in the most hateful tone.”

Toshi paused and finished off his scotch before beginning again.

“Like I was his damn office boy or something! I said, ‘Well first, I need you to lose the damn attitude—I’m your fiancé, not your little bitch.’ He just continues to stare at me with those cold eyes of his and then all of a sudden stands up and says, ‘What do you need, Toshi? I’m busy’ in this slow, condescending tone of voice like I was too stupid to understand. I was done after that.”

He paused again and shook his head, teeth clenched.

“I said ‘Ya know what? I don’t need a damn thing—just forget it’ and I turned and walked the fuck out and slammed the door. Oh my god, he pisses me off sometimes…”

Heath reached over and rubbed Toshi’s back, giving him an understanding look. Sugizo stepped back into the dining room and retrieved the bottle of scotch, pouring the vocalist another drink when he returned.

“Aww Tosh, I’m sorry you’re having trouble with him. You know what he’s like though,” the guitarist said, taking a seat.

“Yeah, I know…if anyone knows him, it’s me. But dammit, he’s not gonna talk to me like that. I deserve more respect than that,” Toshi asserted.

“Yes you do and I’m glad you realize that,” Heath said, his hand still on his friend’s back. “Listen, I love Yoshi—you know that.”

Toshi nodded.

“But he gets above himself sometimes. I’ve seen how he talks to you on occasion and it pisses me the hell off. There’s been times I’ve wanted to see you grab him by that blonde hair and make him submit like the man I know you are,” Heath said, again feeling a bit protective over Toshi like he had just a few years earlier when the vocalist had first come back to the band.

“Yes. What he said,” Sugizo added. “I love Yoshi too and I’m extremely grateful to him, but…he gets a bit out of bounds sometimes. Even Luna calls him a drama queen.”

“Ya know…on a normal day-to-day basis, he’s fine. We get along great, we’re respectful of each other, and we have a lot of fun together. That’s the Yoshi I love. But this bad-tempered, stressed out, empire-building motherfucker?? No.”

He shook his head and took another drink. Sugizo pushed some crackers and fruit over toward them, hoping that Toshi would eat a little something with all that scotch. They didn’t need him getting absolutely sloshed before the others got there.

“Did you tell him you were coming on over here before the meeting?” Heath asked.

“Nope. I went directly upstairs, got dressed, and left. Went to the liquor store first and then just drove around a bit before coming over. He probably doesn’t even know I’m gone,” the vocalist answered, picking up a few crackers.

“Yoshi does love you, you know that, right?” Sugizo asked, trying to keep this from turning into a major Yoshiki-bashing session.

“Yes…I know. And I love him, truly. But Sugi, I can’t just keep letting this stuff go, love him or not. It’s happening too often…which is probably why I got so mad this morning,” Toshi responded.

“Ya know…a little couples counseling before you two get married might be a good thing,” the guitarist suggested to which Heath nodded in agreement.

“Ugh…I don’t even want to think about a wedding right now. We may have to put that off for a bit,” he started and then paused for a moment. “I’ve already been used and abused in one marriage—I have absolutely no desire to rush into another one. We’ve gone this long without being married…we can go a while longer.”

A clapping sound was heard coming from the direction of the living room and a few moments later, Hide appeared moving from said living room into the kitchen area where the three men sat. He continued to clap and smile at Toshi.

“Well said, well said. Don’t let our dear Yo-Chan get away with that shit,” he said clearly, stopping just in front of the vocalist who seemed a bit calmer upon seeing his old friend than he was the last time.

As soon as Sugizo and Heath saw Hide appear, they were both instantly concerned about how Toshi was going to react. They kept a close eye on him, but he showed no signs of being frightened or upset.

_‘Must be all that scotch,’_ Sugizo thought to himself and grinned.

“Hide…good to see you again,” the vocalist managed to get out even though he was still a bit surprised by the appearance.

“And you, Toshi-Kun. Are you okay with me being this close? I can back off if I’m frightening you,” Hide offered.

“No, I’m fine. Be wherever you want to be. You seem comfortable here at Sugi’s.”

“I am. It’s a very welcoming, calm place for me to hang out.”

“Have you tried visiting Yoshi yet? He hasn’t said anything, but true to recent form, he might not tell me,” Toshi said.

“No, no…not yet. I want to, but I haven’t wanted to upset his high-strung ass. But honestly…I think it’s time I did regardless. Someone needs to jerk him out of the gear he’s gotten himself stuck in.”

“Well, he’ll be over here along with Pata around lunchtime, so please…be my guest,” Heath said with more than just a little attitude in his voice.

Hide laughed out loud. “Little brother here is a pot-stirrer. I love it!”

The bassist chuckled in spite of himself. “Well…I just don’t like to see Tosh get treated like that. And it’s faaaaar from the first time.”

Sugizo looked at Hide with a grimace and nodded, agreeing with Heath’s statement.

“Well, if you’re going to do it, let us get through lunch and the vast majority of the meeting first cause once he sees and hears you, he’s gonna be _done_ for a while,” Toshi requested.

Hide nodded. “Okay, that’ll work.”

He then turned to Sugizo and pointed at the glass of scotch sitting in front of him. “Hey barkeep…where’s mine?”

The guitarist looked a bit confused. “Oh, umm…can you actually drink?”

Hide grinned. “Yeah, I’m old enough.”

Sugizo pursed his lips and tilted his head just a bit in a sarcastic expression. “Yes Love, I know that…you know what I mean.”

The smile on Hide’s face broadened. “Well, I can’t actually pick up the glass and consume its contents, no—not like I used to. But I can sort of…” he paused, trying to decide how to explain things. “I can sort of absorb its essence. Like when you leave fruit and things at a shrine—the essence is absorbed, but the outside looks untouched. It’s the same deal.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize that. Of course, hold on a second,” the auburn-haired man said, sounding a bit embarrassed that he hadn’t thought of that aspect of things. He hurried into the dining room to get another glass and bringing it back, poured a drink for his old friend.

“There you go. I’m sorry,” he said, placing the glass closer to where Hide stood.

“Don’t apologize. Weird situation, I know,” the pink-haired one said, placing a kiss on Sugizo’s cheek.

Heath then piped up. “Can I ask a stupid question?”

“Go for it,” Hide answered.

“Do you feel any effects of the alcohol?”

Toshi nodded. “Thank you. That’s what I was about to ask.”

“What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll have a drunk spirit flying about the place?” Hide asked with a laugh. “That would actually be pretty fun, now that I think about it…but no, the alcohol won’t affect me the way it affects you, unfortunately.”

“One more stupid question then,” Toshi said and Hide nodded for him to proceed. “All of the offerings that fans leave at your memorial…”

“The booze? Yeah, I get it and I enjoy it. I appreciate everything that friends and fans leave. I don’t hang out there all the time though—can’t bear to see so many people cry. But yeah, I see and enjoy everything. It’s pretty touching,” Hide said with a sad smile.

After a moment, he perked back up though. “So, Yoshi and Pata are coming over in just a bit. How do we think Pata is going to react when I show up?”

“Umm well, it’s Pata so…I would say reserved and quiet,” Heath offered.

“If he even sees me at all,” Hide added. “If he’s fully intent on denying my existence, then he won’t see a thing, I’m pretty sure. We’ll just have to wait and find out.” He paused. “For now though, I’m gonna go but I’ll be back later.” He turned to his host. “Sugi, leave my glass please, Doll.”

With that, he blew one big kiss to all of them and disappeared from view. A moment later, Sugizo jumped slightly and turned to look behind him. He just shook his head and grinned. Heath gave him a questioning look.

“I think he just felt me up…” the guitarist said, laughing.

“Ah. Again?” Heath answered.

“Are we really having this conversation?” Toshi asked, looking back and forth between Heath and Sugizo.

“Yup,” the bassist replied simply. Sugizo just nodded.

“Okay…” Toshi added, rubbing his forehead. “Just checking.”

The catered lunch arrived before the other two men got there, so Sugizo, Heath, and Toshi helped the concierge runner bring everything in and set it up in the dining room. The head concierge downstairs hadn’t felt comfortable allowing the caterer’s drivers access to the building, so he sent his assistant up with the food.

Shortly, however, Pata and Yoshiki did make it there, almost at the same time.

“Hey guys, glad everyone’s here already,” Yoshiki started, looking around and seeing all present and accounted for, including his fiancé. “Let’s eat first and then we’ll talk business, okay?”

The blonde walked over and hugged Heath tightly, genuinely happy to see him looking so well. He then glanced over at Toshi who was helping Sugizo get some drinks together. The vocalist noticed him out of the corner of his eye but didn’t acknowledge him at all.

Yoshiki then moved around the counter and hugged Sugizo briefly. “Thanks for having this here.”

“No problem. Luna’s at school and Heath and I didn’t have anything going on anyway,” the guitarist responded.

Yoshiki nodded. He then spotted the glass of scotch still sitting on the counter. “A little early for this, isn’t it?” he asked, picking it up and showing it to Sugizo.

“Hmm? Oh, not mine. Belongs to a friend. Here, I’ll put it out of the way,” he responded, taking the glass from the blonde and sitting it on the back counter away from everyone.

As Pata, Heath, and Toshi had gone into the dining room, Yoshiki took the opportunity to ask his guitarist about his fiancé.

“Did Toshi come over here early just to drink before our meeting?”

Sugizo stopped and looked at him for a few seconds before beginning to reply. He had to stop himself from saying what he really wanted to say which was something along the lines of ‘ _he’s a grown ass man and if he wants to have a couple of drinks with his friends he can’._

“He brought a couple of bottles over with him for us all to have after the meeting. I’m the one that broke the scotch open for us to have a drink to toast Heath’s recovery. That glass there is not Toshi’s.”

He knew he’d told a little white lie but at this moment he didn’t really care.

“Okay, I was just curious. We had a disagreement this morning, so he’s probably upset with me,” the blonde said quietly.

“Oh? What’d you do this time?”

“What makes you think it was me?” Yoshiki asked with a bit of a half-hearted chuckle.

Sugizo just gave him a smirk that said ‘because it always is and you know it’. He then just turned and walked into the dining room to join the others, leaving Yoshiki to follow him.

They all took seats around the 6-person dining table, Toshi making sure that he was neither next to nor across from his fiancé. As expected, he wanted his ‘little brother’ next to him, so no one really thought much about it.

The lunch, which had been ordered by their drummer band leader, was typical of what they had come to expect from Yoshiki—gourmet and at least mostly healthy.

Sugizo raised his glass to the blonde. “One thing I can never fault you on, Yoshi—you do have excellent taste! Thank you for lunch,” he said with his characteristic warm smile.

The others all agreed and raised their glasses to him as well—even Toshi who didn’t want to appear petty.

“Oh, you guys are welcome. You’re my family, after all,” Yoshiki said, flashing his Colgate smile. “This meeting shouldn’t take long and then we can all just relax and hang out for a bit, if Sugi doesn’t mind.”

“Please—my house is your house. The security guys will pick up Luna and bring her home anyway, so there’s nowhere I have to go,” the guitarist assured them.

That prompted a discussion about the security detail and how the Sugiharas were adjusting to having them around. Sugizo then told them all about Reina’s surprisingly civil demeanor at dinner the other night.

“I don’t trust her—not for one minute—but it was nice to not fight in public like I was afraid was going to happen,” Sugizo said.

“Yeah, she was quite nice to me too. Said how glad she was that I was recovering and how it must’ve been hard on everyone, blah, blah, blah. But yeah…I’m not buying it either,” Heath added.

“Hell no. A leopard doesn’t change its spots. Once a sea hag, always a sea hag,” Pata offered, giving the rest of the table a good laugh.

“Man of few words speaks truth,” Sugizo proclaimed, bowing and doing his best Confucius impression.

Yoshiki rolled his eyes and then decided it was time to start the meeting after everyone had stopped either laughing or groaning at the auburn-haired man’s antics.

The majority of the business had to do with recording and mixing, deciding when they were going to be able to all get back in the studio again. Heath unnecessarily apologized for being sick and bringing the recording to a halt. Everyone basically told him to quit apologizing for something he couldn’t help. They also talked briefly about scheduling a few lives for later in the year. Sugizo filled them in on Luna Sea’s touring plans for the summer, but said that it shouldn’t interfere with anything planned for X. All in all, it was a productive albeit short meeting and afterwards, the men retired to the living room to partake in some of the good scotch and whiskey that Toshi had brought over.

“So, Monday it is then. Everyone be at the studio about 10,” Yoshiki announced, taking his drink and walking toward Sugizo’s living room.

“See? He’s like Jekyll and Hyde. Perfectly lovely here after being a real bastard to me at home,” Toshi said to Heath in a low voice, shaking his head in frustration.

“Yeah, he’s got that switch that toggles between Sweetheart and Bastard. I know, Tosh—I’ve been around him for a long time now. You don’t have to convince me…or Sugi…or Pata, I’m willing to bet.”

The two of them headed into the living room and took seats next to each other on the two-seater loveseat. Toshi didn’t want to sit next to the blonde and Heath didn’t want him to have to. Sugizo came in and dropped into his recliner which was very near the loveseat. That left Pata and Yoshiki on the couch.

The bottles were deposited on the coffee table so that no one had to traipse all the way back into the dining room for a refill.

Yoshiki looked around at the well-furnished room and then met Sugizo’s eyes.

“You still thinking of buying a house now that Luna is with you fulltime? I know you were talking about that a couple of weeks ago.”

The guitarist shrugged. “Yeah, I think so. I want to wait until after the final hearing to definitely make up my mind, but my lawyer doesn’t foresee any problems with the custody thing, so I probably will.” He paused and took a sip. “Besides, I’d love to have a small studio either in or attached to a house—for my solo stuff, ya know.”

They all nodded. Every serious musician wanted a studio of their own.

“You still working on that violin piece for Buck-Tick?” Yoshiki asked, referring to their conversation with Sakurai up at the hospital.

“Hmmm…yeah, I am but it’s going slowly. I’ve had other things going on and haven’t really had a chance to work on it,” Sugizo answered.

_‘Guess I need to actually write something for them if I’m going to keep lying to Yoshi about it,’_ the auburn-haired man thought to himself, making a mental note to talk to Sakurai and Imai.

They all continued to talk about this, that, and the other for several minutes, until Sugizo started to notice a tingling sensation on his face and neck. He ignored it at first, but it became more persistent until he finally realized what was happening. Hide wanted to come out and play.

“Introduce me,” he whispered into the guitarist’s ear so that only he heard. Sugizo simply nodded slightly.

Upon a lull in the conversation, he cleared his throat and got everyone’s attention by asking, “So…change of subject. Who here believes in spirits?”

Yoshiki and Pata gave him odd looks like he’d just grown an extra head. Toshi looked at him as well, but his expression was different. Heath just smiled.

“Well?” Sugizo asked and waited a moment for someone to offer an answer. When no one did, he decided to go man to man and ask them.

“Heath?” he queried.

The bassist just smiled and nodded. “Definitely.”

“Toshi?”

“Yes, I do. Haven’t had a lot of experience with them, but I definitely believe they exist,” the vocalist answered.

“Pata? How about you?” Sugizo asked, feeling sure he knew what was coming from the quiet guitarist.

“No, not me. I don’t claim to understand what happens after we pass on, but I don’t believe we just ‘hang around’.”

“Okay, fair enough. What about you, Yo-Chan?”

“Well…I try to be open-minded about things. I’ve never actually seen a spirit, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I have had the feeling I was being watched when no one was around though. You know, that feeling that you’re not alone?” Yoshiki asked, looking around at the faces in the room, hoping for some support.

Heath, Toshi, and Sugizo all nodded.

“Yep, I know exactly what you mean,” Heath said.

“Well…” Sugizo said and then paused, knowing this was going to be a monumental moment for some in the room. “How would you like to meet one?”

Yoshiki raised his eyebrows and just looked at his younger guitarist. “What are you suggesting?” he finally asked.

“Just that there is a spirit here that would like to come and say hello to everyone, but he doesn’t want to frighten anyone.”

Sugizo paused and tried to read Yoshiki’s face. Pata was easy—utter skepticism.

“Is it someone I would know?” the drummer asked.

“Oh yeah, we all know him. He’s a good spirit, don’t worry. Nothing to be concerned about at all.”

“Umm…okay…sure,” the blonde responded carefully.

“Are you the ghost whisperer all of a sudden?” Pata asked, thinking that this had to be a joke.

“No, but I have a bond with this one and he’d really like to show himself to all of you,” Sugizo answered. “Oh, and he says to tell you that he prefers the term ‘spirit’ to ‘ghost’.”

Pata took a deep breath and sat back further into the couch. Taking a drink, he looked over at Yoshiki. “Welp, gonna need another guitarist. This one’s lost his mind.”

“Hush, Pata…I’m interested,” the blonde said, admonishing his old friend for being so closed-minded. He looked over at Toshi and Heath on the other couch. “Aren’t you two curious?”

“Of course!” Heath said, nodding.

“I’m a bit nervous, to be honest, but yeah…go for it,” the vocalist answered.

“Good. So you’re okay with him becoming visible over here by me then? He won’t come closer to you unless you want him to, alright?”

Yoshiki merely nodded, looking apprehensive but definitely interested.

Sugizo took another deep breath. “Okay then. Go ahead and show yourself—everyone is ready,” he said, looking up slightly as he wasn’t sure exactly where Hide was at the moment. “Over here by me, please.”

Everyone in the room was quiet and watching the area around Sugizo when a slight mist began to appear and gradually grow larger beside his recliner. It continued to grow more and more dense as they watched until a form began to take shape.

Yoshiki’s eyes opened wider and he reached over and slapped Pata’s leg without averting his gaze. “Do you see that?”

“See what?” Pata replied honestly as he truly did not see anything.

It was taking too long for Heath’s liking, so he piped up. “Okay, okay…cut the theatrics and just show up already,” he said with a laugh.

“Don’t ruin my big entrance,” a disembodied voice said in a loud whisper, causing Yoshiki to jump and Heath and Sugizo to chuckle.

The process did speed up some, however, and after another 30 seconds or so, the see-through form of Hide sat on the arm of the recliner, right next to Sugizo. Yoshiki looked at him, eyes wide, mind obviously trying to wrap itself around the fact that he was, indeed, looking at a spirit. He was literally on the edge of his seat, but he didn’t say anything though and that concerned Heath.

“Yoshi…do you recognize him?” he asked.

The blonde didn’t respond, he just kept staring, motionless.

“Make yourself a little more solid-looking okay, Doll?” Sugizo requested.

Hide nodded and did as he was asked, looking directly at Yoshiki.

“Yo-Chan…do you recognize me now?”

All at once, the combination of the sight before him and the familiar voice hit Yoshiki like a ton of bricks. He sat up straighter and gasped. A distressed-sounding cry came from him and his hands shot up to cover his mouth.

“Oh…oh my god…Hide,” he managed to utter, his breathing becoming labored. All at once, his eyes rolled back and he went limp, falling into the floor in a dead faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also want to give a shout-out to two more of my favorite authors, msmorie and gremlin4. You can't go wrong with anything of theirs that you choose to read! So many talented writers on this site!! Enjoy! :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That lunch of theirs must've been pretty spicy...

Despite the tension that had existed between them all day, Toshi was the first to jump to get to the unconscious man, sitting on the floor and pulling him into his lap.

“Yoshi…come on, baby…wake up. It’s okay…” he said, patting his fiancé’s face and rocking him slightly.

Hide moved over closer to where Toshi sat holding Yoshiki. “Well, fuck!” he said loudly. “That didn’t go as planned. Tosh, I’m sorry…”

The vocalist looked up into his old friend’s face. “It’s not your fault—you know how he is.” He carried on patting the blonde’s face, trying to rouse him.

“I’ll get a cold cloth,” Heath said, moving quickly from the loveseat into the kitchen.

Pata, for his part, was completely lost as to what was happening. All he knew was that his friends seemed to be talking to the air and that Yoshiki had fainted after saying what sounded like something about Hide. And while he was certainly concerned about his friend, he was feeling a little nervous about the other goings on.

_‘They’re not all crazy. What am I missing? What the fuck is going on in here?’_ he thought to himself while staying close in case he could help with Yoshiki.

Hide settled down next to Sugizo again, waiting to see how long it would take the blonde to come to. The cold cloth on the man’s face and neck was apparently helping as he had started making noises and moving around a little.

“That’s it…come on, Yoshi. You’re okay…everything is okay. Wake up for me,” Toshi said.

Finally, Yoshiki opened his eyes and looked up at his fiancé. “What happened?”

“You fainted, but you’re okay. Here, let’s get you back up onto the couch,” he said, allowing Heath and Pata to lift the blonde up and place him on the couch while Toshi got up off the floor.

“I fainted? But…why?” Yoshiki asked, rubbing his forehead where he’d hit the floor. Then his eyes widened a bit as his memory suddenly returned. “Hide…” he said softly, staring into Toshi’s face.

The vocalist nodded and stroked the man’s arm gently.

“Yes, you saw Hide—we all did. He’s still here, Yoshi, and he feels bad about upsetting you. Will you talk to him? He’s right over there,” he said very gently, indicating where their friend was.

Yoshiki tried to take a deep breath, but it caught halfway. He then slowly turned his head in the direction that Toshi had shown him. As his eyes fell on Hide again, he took in a sharp breath and jumped slightly, gasping.

“Yo-Chan…be calm, okay? I don’t want to scare you. I’ll stay over here with Sugi until you’ve gotten more used to seeing me. Will that be alright?” Hide asked slowly and gently, doing his best to calm his overwrought friend.

Yoshiki sat staring, a frozen expression on his face, nodding slowly like a little 5-year-old. Toshi took a seat on the couch between him and Pata, rubbing his leg and speaking to him quietly to reassure him.

Hide decided to turn the attention away from the blonde for a bit.

“Hey Pata…can you see and hear me?” he asked, waving comically in front of the man.

No response. He then moved over and got right in front of Pata, making faces at him for comic relief.

“Nothing?” he asked.

Nothing—though Pata did wonder why everyone was looking in his direction and laughing.

“Okay…what the fuck? Have you all lost your minds?” he asked.

“Pata…Hide is right in front of you waving and making faces at you!” Heath started but had to pause and laugh. “Open your mind—quit being so skeptical and you’ll see him too.”

“I’m beginning to wonder if lunch wasn’t laced with something hallucinogenic—everyone’s but mine, that is,” the older guitarist said.

Sugizo was trying to think of something that Hide could do to prove to Pata that he was indeed there.

“Hey Hide, if I go get Heath’s dry erase board, could you write something on it for Pata?” the auburn-haired man asked.

“Not right now. That takes quite a bit of energy and I’ve expended so much already.” He stopped and thought a minute. “I know.”

Hide moved over to Pata and started playing with his hair, picking up the ends that hung down onto his chest. He swung them back and forth slightly and then crossed them over in front of the man’s face while everyone, including Yoshiki, laughed.

From Pata’s perspective, he was sitting watching his hair lift up and swing around in front of his face, but had no idea how it was doing that. He just knew _he_ wasn’t touching it and neither was anyone else in the room.

“Nope,” he said simply and drained the contents of his scotch glass. “Nope,” he said again and got up from the couch. “I love all of you guys but I can’t do this. Nope,” he said once more and headed to the door. “Call you later,” he said and disappeared out of the apartment.

The remaining men just looked at each other for a moment.

“Well okay then. Pata’s out,” Heath said with a surprised look.

“Maybe I can get through to him later,” Hide said from his place beside Sugizo. “Yo-Chan…are you okay now?”

The blonde leaned closer into Toshi. “Umm, I think so,” he replied in a meek little voice that wasn’t at all like him.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, Yoshi…but it really is him. There’s nothing to be frightened of,” Sugizo said in his quiet, calming voice.

Yoshiki nodded and tried to smile. “But how? And why now? Have you been around us all along?” He had so many questions running through his mind.

Hide smiled. “I’ll answer all of your questions as best I can, but I’m getting a little weak at the moment. Before I go though…can I come over closer?”

The blonde, who was still shaken, took a deep breath and said, “Sure.”

Moving slowly over toward the couch, Hide kept his eyes on Yoshiki’s face to gauge his anxiety. He was prepared to back off if necessary, but he really wanted to get closer so that the drummer could see him and know that it truly was him.

He reached the end of the couch where Yoshiki sat and lowered himself so that they could look into each other’s faces. The smile on Hide’s face was so unmistakably him, that the blonde reached out and tried to touch his face, but of course, he couldn’t feel anything.

“Oh, Hide…I miss you so much. Even now. I wish I could hug you…” Yoshiki managed to say, tears beginning to flow down his cheeks.

“I know…I truly wish that I could hug and kiss you too. But I’m always close by and I can hear you if you talk to me, okay?”

Yoshiki just nodded and wiped at his face. “Love you…” he said, not caring what the others might think.

Hide gave him another smile, leaned forward and kissed him, running a hand down his hair and onto his shoulder. “Love you too.”

The blonde shivered a little at the touch, but was clearly happy that he could feel _something._

Hide then leaned over and kissed Toshi’s forehead and gave him a knowing smile. He then moved back over to Heath and did the same, calling him ‘little brother’.

Finally, he made it back to Sugizo. He was beginning to become a little more translucent, telling proof that he had used up a lot of energy remaining visible and talking for as long as he had.

“See you soon,” he said, kissing Sugizo’s lips and caressing his cheek.

“Okay, Doll. Don’t forget your scotch that’s in the kitchen,” the auburn-haired man said with a smile.

“Oh yeah…thanks!” he said, fading from view.

No one said anything for what seemed like an eternity, so Sugizo finally broke the silence.

“Yoshi, are you alright with what you just saw? Any questions that I could try to answer for you?”

The blonde was curled into Toshi’s shoulder holding onto him and sniffling. His fiancé had his arms around him, stroking his hair and intermittently placing kisses on his head. You’d never know that there had been tension between them only half an hour earlier.

Heath excused himself to go retrieve something from his room and came back with a box of tissues that he placed on the coffee table in front of the couple.

“Yoshi, once you get used to the idea, it’s quite nice having him around,” the bassist offered, trying to draw his friend out.

It took a minute or so for the implications of that statement to filter into Yoshiki’s head, but all at once, he turned toward Heath and Sugizo.

“How long have you two been seeing him? Neither of you looked surprised at all. Come to think of it, neither did you, Tosh,” he said, looking up into the man’s face.

“Well…this was the third time I’d seen him, to be honest. The second was only earlier today before you and Pata got here. First time…a week or so ago when I brought Heath’s things over from his apartment for him.”

“And you didn’t tell me?! Why?!” Yoshiki asked, looking rather shocked.

Toshi sighed and thought about that for a few moments. His fiancé was not appreciative of the silence, though.

“Toshi…you of all people know how much I loved Hide and how utterly destroyed I was when he…left us. _Why_ would you keep that from me?” Yoshiki asked, pulling himself away from Toshi’s side and sitting up.

“Yoshi…” Sugizo started, but the drummer cut him off.

“No, I want to hear the answer from Toshi,” he said, turning back to his fiancé.

The vocalist raised his eyes to meet Yoshiki’s and gave him a serious look. “Because it upset me. I needed time to think about it and decide how I felt.” He paused and lowered his gaze. “You know I don’t trust my own mind sometimes, Yoshi. I was honestly thinking that I had imagined the whole thing. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” His eyes remained downcast, shoulders slumped.

Heath glanced over at Sugizo and they exchanged solemn looks. Toshi was such a kind soul and it hurt them to know that he was still having issues stemming from the mind control that he had been subjected to many years earlier. Unable to stand it any longer, the bassist spoke up.

“Yoshi, remember that day I called you and said that Toshi had just left here and that he was acting a bit strange? That was that day. He truly was upset by seeing Hide. Maybe he just needed some time—I don’t think he was purposely keeping anything from you.”

That seemed to appease Yoshiki to some degree as he nodded to Heath and reached over to rub Toshi’s back. It took him a little bit longer, but he eventually spoke up.

“I’m sorry, Honey. My mind is just so blown over seeing him that I lashed out at you. I understand now why you didn’t say anything,” the blonde said softly, leaning over and kissing him.

Now it was Sugizo’s turn to speak up. “Yoshi…none of us told you because we _knew_ it would upset you. Hell, Hide has been wanting to talk to you and let you see him all along, but he said he was afraid to because he thought it might send you into another fit of depression and he didn’t want to be responsible for that.”

“So how long have you two been seeing him then?” the blonde asked.

“Just started when I was in the hospital. I saw him several times there,” Heath replied.

“Yeah, you remember us talking about how Heath would get fixated on something? That it worried us, but it seemed to calm him down, whatever it was? Yeah, that was Hide he was seeing,” Sugizo informed them.

“Wait. We were worried that he might have some brain damage and all the time he was seeing Hide?” Yoshiki asked.

“Yup. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?” the guitarist responded.

Heath shook his head. “What? Wait a sec…you guys thought I had brain damage?!”

“No, we were _worried_ that you _might_ have sustained some damage from that high fever that you had for so long. Heath, you were on fire when I got to you that day and it took hours and hours for them to get that fever to break at the hospital. Then once you started to wake up, you were acting strangely. We were just worried, that’s all,” Sugizo told him.

“Yeah, you’d be thrashing around, fighting the ventilator, making choking sounds and stuff and then all of a sudden you’d calm down and turn your head to one side and just stare at _something_ on the side of the bed. It was so strange, but you did calm down so we didn’t worry about it too much at first. Then you kept doing it once you were out of ICU and we started to get concerned.”

Toshi paused and looked at Yoshiki and Sugizo who nodded. “Now we know it was Hide that was visiting you and _you_ could see him, but no one else could.”

Heath sat and thought for several moments and then shook his head. “I don’t really remember some of that. I do remember seeing him and thinking he was an angel. Then I got scared and thought that I must be dead if I was seeing angels. He calmed me down and told me that I was okay.”

“Were you actually talking to him? You had the ventilator and then two different oxygen masks…” Yoshiki asked, trying to understand.

The bassist had to think about that for a minute. “Well…I guess not audibly. Hadn’t thought about that until now.” He paused and tried to remember. He finally shrugged. “We were communicating…I’m just not sure how. I remember hearing him say ‘Hi-Chan, you’re okay. Calm down. Listen to me—I need you to calm down now’ and stuff like that.”

“Sugizo was saying things like that too and so were the rest of us. Are you sure it wasn’t us you were hearing?” the blonde asked.

“I was looking at Hide at the time. It was him. He even made faces at me to get my attention a few times,” Heath answered with a chuckle. “And I know that voice.”

Toshi nodded. “First time I heard him speak…gave me chills. It had been so long since I’d heard that voice but as soon as I did, I recognized it.”

Yoshiki nodded and sniffled again. As he reached up to dry his eyes, the others could see that he was shaking.

“Yoshi, I know it’s a lot to take in. I’ve shed many tears since I started seeing him at the hospital. It’s bringing back memories and feelings that I’ve had to keep shut off at times.” Sugizo paused and had to gather himself.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I think most everyone is alike in this—there are things that you can’t allow yourself to think about on a regular day because you can’t deal with them and function. You have to have time to drop the shields and deal—know what I mean?” the guitarist asked.

The other three men nodded in agreement.

“I’m not ashamed to admit to you three that I’ve cried myself to sleep a few times since I’ve been able to talk to him again,” Sugizo confessed.

“What has he said that upset you?” Toshi asked.

“Oh nothing…I just meant that talking to him again and having him close by has sort of uncovered old wounds that never really healed, so to speak.” He had to pause again as he felt that familiar lump in his throat. “I knew that hole was still there…I just didn’t realize how big it still was.”

His voice had broken up a little and a few tears made their way down Sugizo’s cheeks just after that last statement. Heath reached over from where he sat and placed a reassuring hand on his knee. But what he had said plus the tears prompted Yoshiki to bring up something he’d been wanting to ask the man, though the alcohol might have influenced his timing somewhat.

“Sugi…I’ve been meaning to ask you something ever since I talked to J and Ryu up at the hospital. I can’t seem to find the right time, so I guess now is as good as any,” the blonde said, pouring more scotch for himself and taking a drink.

Toshi immediately realized what it was that his fiancé was about to bring up and he tried to stop it.

“Yoshi…now’s not the time. Not in front of me and Heath,” the vocalist said, giving him a serious look and shaking his head.

“No…I think now is a fine time. Besides, we’re family,” Yoshiki answered, a note of hurt feelings obvious to anyone who knew him well.

Heath and Sugizo exchanged glances, having no idea what Toshi and Yoshiki were referring to.

“Yoshi, please…Sugi is already upset. Don’t do this,” Toshi advised.

“It’ll be fine,” he said to his fiancé, took another long drink of scotch and then turned back to face Sugizo.

Toshi shot a warning look over at Heath who raised his eyebrows in concern.

“J, Ryu, Toshi, and I were talking up at the hospital and the subject of Hide came up. I found out a few things that I didn’t know before,” Yoshiki started.

“Oh? And what was that?” the guitarist asked, sounding just a little defensive. He didn’t know what Yoshiki was getting at, but the warning looks from Toshi told him that he wasn’t going to like it.

“Well, that your wife caught you two in bed together and that’s why you broke up,” the blonde said, looking directly into Sugizo’s eyes as if he was waiting for him to lie about it.

“What?! That’s not true! I told you why we broke up—she was abusing me and ended up nearly shattering my hand. That’s why I left,” the guitarist asserted. “I told all of you guys this, don’t you remember?”

“But what I’m getting at is what led her to do that. She did catch you two, didn’t she?” Yoshiki asked, accusingly.

Sugizo lowered his eyebrows and almost scowled at his friend. Out the corner of his eye he noticed Toshi shaking his head with a hand covering his eyes.

“Yes. She did catch us together. Is that honestly the big revelation?”

“Well, of course I knew about you two—I don’t think Hide kept very much at all from me. You were together quite a bit for a while, I remember,” the blonde said and took another drink.

“We were.”

“Now here’s where I’m confused. J said he thought that you were way more serious about Hide than he was about you.” He paused to let that sink in. “But I said that Hide would never string someone along like that—especially someone who had a family. So…who’s right?”

“J actually said that?” Sugizo asked, feeling mad, upset, and defensive all at once.

“He did.”

The guitarist shook his head. “J is out of his mind—he knows better. He knows the reason why Hide was hanging around our band so much was because of my relationship with him. I even remember one of the guys asking Hide if you knew about him and me and he said yes, that you knew. So, was that the truth or did you just find out?” he asked pointedly, looking right at the drummer who was acting for all the world like a jealous girlfriend.

“No, I knew back then. I knew you two had a few flings—apparently you got caught during a couple of them by your wife.”

His repeated use of the word ‘wife’ was bothering Sugizo and he thought he was certainly doing it on purpose.

“EX-wife,” he retorted and then gave a humorless chuckle. “’A few flings’, huh? Is that your estimation or what Hide told you?”

Yoshiki shrugged and took another drink.

Sugizo gave Toshi a quick apologetic look as he knew this was about to get ugly and the guitarist didn’t want him to feel like he was in any way responsible. That and he knew that Toshi would be the one that would have to leave here and deal with Yoshiki after this was over.

The auburn-haired man sat up on the edge of his seat and drilled the blonde with a look.

“Answer me.”

“Okay…that’s my estimation of the situation based on what Hide told me and my own knowledge. Are you trying to tell me that there was more to it than that?” Yoshiki answered, apparently feeling confident.

“Yeah, Yoshi…that’s what I’m telling you. I haven’t said anything in all this time because I wanted you to remember things the way you preferred to remember them, but yeah…there was a lot more to it than that. Remember earlier when I said that I had a bond with this particular spirit? Why do you think that is, Yoshi?”

“I don’t know. I don’t claim to understand anything about spirits like you seem to.”

_‘Okay, fuck it. I’ve been trying to be considerate of his feelings and this is where it gets me. Fine. Time all of this was out in the open anyway. Past time,’_ Sugizo thought as he steadied himself.

“We have a bond now because we had a bond then.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “We were in love, Yoshi—plain and simple. We weren’t just drinking buddies or bed partners…we loved each other.”

Now it was the guitarist’s turn to take a long drink and like Yoshiki, his hands were shaking.

“That wide band ring that I wear all the time? Every show, every photo session, every interview? The one you don’t see me without? It was Hide’s. He gave it to me—took it off his hand and put it on mine. It’s even engraved on the inside.”

With that, he got up suddenly and left the room, leaving Toshi and Heath looking at each other while Yoshiki stared into his scotch glass. He looked as if he were fighting hard to hold back the tears.

Heath didn’t know how to take all this. While he did know most of it already, one or two things had been a revelation. And then there was Yoshiki. The bassist did feel sorry for him on the one hand—finding out this way that the man he’d considered his back then truly wasn’t--but on the other hand…he had brought some of this on himself being so assuming and arrogant about Hide to Sugizo. Heath really didn’t blame the guitarist for laying all the cards on the table like he did. He just wondered how his friend had managed to hold his tongue about Hide all this time.

Soon, Sugizo came back in the room carrying the band ring that meant so much to him.

“Here, look—it’s clearly not a wedding band, but look at the inscription on the inside.”

With that, he held the ring out to Yoshiki who took it and held it up to see the inside surface. After a couple of seconds, he passed it off to Toshi who was still sitting next to him on the couch.

“Names, a heart, and ‘love you’,” he said and then carefully handed it back to Sugizo. “That’s sweet—no wonder you cherish it like you do,” he added with a warm smile.

The guitarist then passed it over to Heath. “I think you’ve seen this already, haven’t you?”

Heath nodded his dark head and held onto the ring like he was afraid of dropping it. “Yeah, I’ve seen it. You showed it to me years ago.”

“So why am I the only one who didn’t know any of this?” the blonde asked, clearly feeling all of the liquor he’d put away since lunch.

“You’re not. I didn’t know a lot of this either,” Toshi admitted. “But then, most of it isn’t my business, so…”

“Yoshi, honestly…the reason I know a lot of it is because Sugi and I have had a _lot_ of late night, drunken conversations over the years. I think he’s just been trying to save your feelings, not keep things from you,” Heath offered.

“And just look where it’s got me…” Sugizo spat with more than a little attitude. “Listen, if you want to clear this whole fuckin’ thing up right now, we can ask the man himself. I’m kinda surprised he hasn’t just spontaneously shown up, to be honest.”

“Yeah, me too. That’s exactly what I need—to be told by Hide himself that he didn’t care for me like I thought he had… Call him, please! Come on, what are you waiting for?!” Yoshiki said loudly, purposely sliding off the couch to sit in the floor.

“Oh god…it’s allll about _you,_ isn’t it? Always has been, always will be,” the guitarist said, looking down at him shaking his head.

Just then, Sugizo’s phone went off with a message from the security detail downstairs. They were making sure that he was at home before bringing Luna up. He let them know to go ahead and come up.

He looked back up at everyone and made an announcement.

“Okay, Luna is home from school. We need to chill out, okay? Heath, will you please take these bottles back into the dining room for me? Yoshi, if you want to stay in the floor that’s fine by me, but try not to act drunk okay? Toshi, can you keep an eye on him for me?”

“I’m a grown man—I can look after myself, thank you,” Yoshiki said with a slight slur to his words.

That flew all over Sugizo.

“Listen, _Leader-San…_ I still have to be careful until after the final custody hearing. This is _my_ house and I will not have you showing out in front of my daughter. Are we clear?!”

Yoshiki saluted him and said, “Yes, sir” in a rather sarcastic manner. When Sugizo heard the door opening, he pointed a warning finger at the blonde and turned to leave the room.

“Luna, honey? Hey! How was school?” he asked as she came in followed by Hinata.

She gave her dad a hug and sighed. “Too long. How was your day?”

“Oh, you know…just the usual,” he replied, hoping she couldn’t read his expression too well.

“I’m gonna dump this in my room and then I need a snack! It’s been too long since lunch,” she said, indicating her heavily-laden backpack.

“Oh, Papa,” she started, coming back out of her bedroom, “Can you come to my school sometime soon and talk to the music class? This would be a violin talk, not guitar,” she said with a giggle, going into the kitchen and nearly colliding with Heath who was carrying a tray full of dishes including four cups of hot coffee.

“Oops! Sorry, Uncle Heath,” she said and helped him steady everything. “Who is all this for?”

“Your dad, me, and Yoshi and Toshi who are in the living room,” the bassist answered.

“Oh?” she asked excitedly. “Let me help.”

Luna took the tray from Heath and went into the living room, followed closely by Heath and her dad.

“Hi Uncle Toshi, Uncle Yoshi. Here’s your coffee,” she said, putting the tray down on the table and then coming around to hug each of them. “Uncle Yoshi…are you okay?” she asked innocently, noticing that he didn’t seem himself. “Why are you in the floor?”

The blonde smiled up at her, but didn’t say anything. Toshi spoke up instead. “He’s just fine, baby. Had a long day so far.”

She just nodded and turned back to her dad, giving him a look that said ‘Okay, drama queen’. Heath couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Saw Hide,” Yoshiki said quietly.

That caused Luna to turn back around in excitement and caused her dad to look over the top of her head at Yoshiki with a stern expression.

“You finally saw him, huh?! Isn’t he just _gorgeous_?!” she gushed, happily plopping down on the loveseat next to Heath.

“You’ve seen him?” the blonde asked, trying his best to sound sober.

“Oh yes! Once with Papa and Uncle Heath and Uncle Toshi and then a couple of times since by myself. He’s such a sweetheart—wish I’d had him here growing up,” she said, a sad note in her voice.

Sugizo made a mental note to talk to his daughter about these solo conversations she’d had with his pink-haired friend as this was news to him.

“I’m sure he wishes that too, honey,” Heath said sweetly, rubbing her back.

“Yeah, he did say that. But I’m glad you finally got to see and talk to him, Uncle Yoshi! He told me how much he wanted to talk to you, but he was afraid of upsetting you.” She paused. “He did upset you, didn’t he?” she surmised.

When the blonde didn’t answer right away, Toshi again spoke up for him. “I think he’s still in shock a little,” he said, looking at the girl with a reassuring expression. “He’ll be okay once he has time to let everything sink in, I’m sure.”

“Oh yeah. I was nervous the first time too—even crawled up into Papa’s lap,” she said with a laugh. “But Uncle Hide’s not scary at all. He did everything he could to make sure I wasn’t afraid. I just adore him.”

Those sweet words coupled with the happy expression on his daughter’s face that he knew Hide had put there, went a long way in helping to calm Sugizo down.

“Hey, I thought you were in desperate need of a snack, Kitten. There’s plenty of stuff in the kitchen,” he said, stroking her long dark hair.

She chuckled and got up from the loveseat. “Okay, I can take a hint. Got homework to start on anyway.”

Luna waved to Toshi and Yoshi just in case they were leaving soon and went to find something to munch on.

“She is so much like you,” Toshi said with a big smile. “How’s the fulltime parenting gig going anyway?”

The guitarist shrugged, taking the seat vacated by Luna. “Not bad, actually. We haven’t gotten into a fight yet though…just wait.”

“Oh, she adores you. I can’t imagine what you’d fight about.”

“Tosh, she adores me now…wait until I have to tell her ‘no’ about something. Or have to ground her. Or tell her she’s too young to date…it’s coming sooner than I’d like to think.”

“Gonna let her date before she’s 30, I hope,” Heath interjected.

Sugizo shrugged. “28 maybe. 25 if she’s exceptionally well-behaved,” he said with a laugh.

While they were talking, Yoshiki had started struggling to get to his feet and Heath moved over to help him get up and steady him.

“Bathroom, please,” he said quietly.

“Heath, help him to mine please,” Sugizo said.

“Will do,” the bassist replied with a nod, gently leading their friend out of the room and down the hall.

The guitarist turned back to Toshi. “While they’re gone, I just want to apologize for all the shit you’re going to have to deal with once you two leave here. I don’t know if I’d ever really planned to tell Yoshi any of that or not, but I certainly didn’t want it to come out like that. I’m sorry, Tosh.”

“Yune…don’t be sorry. Seriously. I tried to stop him from bringing it up—you saw that—but he insisted so…there ya go. If anything, I should be apologizing for him. I love him dearly, but he can be so headstrong and arrogant sometimes. And he’s always been that way about Hide, you know. Maybe it was time someone put him in his place.”

“Maybe…but I hate being that way, especially to a friend. I hope he’s not going to resent me from now on because of what he found out today, but hey…I just told him the truth. I can’t really help what he does with it,” Sugizo replied.

“Exactly. I have to confess to having been curious about you and Hide back in the day. I didn’t ask a lot of questions, but I noticed things. Like when you started wearing that collar when we’d all go out and you were always right beside him.” He stopped and smiled. “You still have it too, I’ll bet.”

The guitarist blushed slightly and nodded.

“I will say this though—knowing what I know now, I think you made him very happy,” Toshi said quietly.

Sugizo swallowed hard and nodded. “I hope so,” he said, his bottom lip quivering slightly.

“Listen, this probably isn’t the time to talk about this, but can I ask you something? If you don’t want to answer me, just say so, okay?” the vocalist asked.

“Okay, fair enough. What is it?”

“Now granted, I wasn’t around a lot for quite a while, so I may have just missed something, but…have you had any serious relationships since Hide? I do have a reason for asking, I promise.”

Sugizo remained quiet for a few moments, but then he decided it’d be okay to open up to Toshi. The man really was becoming like a brother to him.

“No, I really haven’t. I’ve dated several people—mostly men, a couple of women as well—but not for very long and nothing serious. I do have a few so-called friends with benefits, but I haven’t really dated anyone recently. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was just thinking… No, that’s not true. I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now. I know you and Heath have been friends for a really long time now, but…have you ever thought about dating him?”

He paused to see what Sugizo’s reaction would be. What neither man knew was that the subject of their conversation had been heading back into the room and stopped short when he heard his name.

_‘Why are they talking about me?’_ he wondered, staying quiet and staying just close enough to the door to hear what they were saying.

Getting a somewhat positive reaction, Toshi continued.

“Now listen…he’s like my little brother, so I’m not making this suggestion without thinking about it first…and if you ever hurt him I’d have to disappear your ass, but…” he paused as they both laughed.

“But you guys seem really good together and the way you were with him at the hospital…I had to disappoint a couple of nurses who thought you two were just the most adorable couple. But really, have you thought about it?”

“Actually, yeah—I’ve thought about it. Hell, Hide has even asked me about it!” he stopped and laughed.

“And what did you tell him? If you don’t mind my asking,” the vocalist replied.

“I told him that yeah, I was interested—I just didn’t think Heath was interested in me. Not dating, anyway…if you catch my meaning.”

Toshi chuckled. “I get what you’re saying. So Hide would be okay with you dating Heath?”

“Oh for sure. He doesn’t want me to be alone. Even if I couldn’t ask him directly, I’d still know that,” Sugizo said with a smile.

“Okay, here’s where you can tell me to mind my own business if you want: Do you think your feelings for Hide and the pain you still carry because of his passing has kept you from finding someone?”

The guitarist sighed. “At first, I would say ‘yes’. I didn’t want to be around anyone at all for months, except Luna and a very few friends. I even had a hard time just going out in public for a while because I would inevitably see something that would remind me of him and I’d just absolutely lose it. Things got better after a while though. It’s been 14 years now and while I still love him and he’ll always have part of my heart, I feel like I’m perfectly capable of having a serious relationship with someone.”

Toshi gave him a warm smile and got up off the couch to hug him. “Good…because you deserve to be happy. And so does Heath! I really want to see both of you happy! Why don’t you ask him, Sugi?”

“I’ve been thinking about it, but I wanted to give him a chance to fully recover before I laid anything like that on him, know what I mean?”

Toshi nodded. “And now he has.”

The guitarist chuckled. “Yes, and now he has.”

“Hey, what did your mom teach you about listening at keyholes?” Yoshiki said quietly, having stepped up behind Heath in the hallway.

The bassist jumped and spun around, knowing he’d been caught.

“Yoshi, dammit…you scared the life outta me!” he hissed. “I just didn’t want to interrupt their conversation, that’s all.” Heath paused and took a deep breath. “How’re you feeling? You okay?” he asked, placing a hand on the drummer’s arm and looking intently at his face.

“Drained, to be honest. It’s been a long, upsetting…weird day.” He sighed heavily and leaned against the wall.

It was obvious that he’d been crying while in the bathroom as his eyes were more swollen and redder than they’d been earlier, despite his attempts to hide it. Heath couldn’t help but feel for the man.

“Yo-Chan, we all love you…you know that, right?” the bassist asked, pulling him into a hug. “We’re like brothers, and well…sometimes brothers fight. But we’re still family.”

“I need to apologize to Sugi—and I need to talk to Hide again, one on one this time. Think he’ll talk to me? Hide, I mean.”

“Yeah, I feel sure he will. He’s been wanting to anyway,” Heath assured him.

“How do I do it? How do I know if he’s around for me to talk to?” Yoshiki asked.

“Sugi is the best one to ask about that, but I think if you just sit down and be calm and then call out to him, he’ll usually hear you. You have to be patient though.”

Sugizo then came out of the living room looking for his friends.

“Hey…I was beginning to get worried. You both okay?” he asked, looking from Heath to Yoshiki and then back again.

“Yeah, we’re good. Was just heading back into the living room, actually,” the bassist said while the other man simply nodded.

Sugizo sighed and looked at the blonde. “Are you okay, Yoshi? I’m sorry about getting upset with you earlier.”

Yoshiki gave a bit of a humorless laugh. “Don’t apologize, Sugi. I should be apologizing to you.” He stopped and just shook his head.

“Listen, what’s important is that we both love Hide and now we have the incredible privilege of talking to him and having him close by. That’s what’s important,” the guitarist said. “Now, let’s all go back in the living room before Toshi sends out a search party.”

Not long afterwards, Yoshiki and Toshi said their goodbyes to everyone and headed back home, leaving one of their cars there as Toshi had determined that his fiancé was in no shape to drive. Yoshiki didn’t like that much, but Toshi wouldn’t be deterred, so in the end he gave in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to shout out another author that I'm really enjoying--Kukki90! I am loving her HBG Chronicles series! If you're into MUCC, Dir en Grey, The GazettE, and more you really need to check it out! :D


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than most. These last three chapters were written in one huge chunk and I've had to divide them up leaving this last one a little short. It's still a good one though, I think. Prepare for some warm fuzzies and maybe a few tears (you know who you are)! Enjoy!!

A couple of hours later over dinner, Luna’s curiosity got the better of her and she just had to start asking questions.

“Papa, so what was the real deal with Uncle Yoshi this afternoon? Why would seeing Uncle Hide upset him that much?”

Sugizo considered the question and was in the middle of deciding how much he should say and how he should say it when his daughter spoke up again, prodding him.

“Just tell me…you really don’t have to sugarcoat everything for me anymore, ya know…”

The guitarist tilted his head with raised eyebrows and just looked at her. “Child…” was all he said.

Heath suddenly began to cough and clear his throat, but Sugizo saw that he was actually laughing at them.

“Something funny, _Hiroshi_?”

“You better tell her what she wants to know, _Yune_ …I don’t think she’s going to take ‘no’ for an answer,” the bassist responded.

“Not looking like it, no.” Sugizo took a deep breath and then dove in.

“Okay, well…Yoshi had a relationship with Hide—they were a lot more than just friends—so his passing hit him particularly hard. He’s had a difficult time coming to terms with the loss, even after 14 years. When he saw and heard Hide again after all that time, it was a real shock to his system, I guess you’d say.”

“And he’s high strung anyway, so it hit him harder than it did anyone else, right?” she offered.

“That’s probably true,” Sugizo answered.

“But he seemed all out of sorts when I first saw him—sitting on the floor, looking like he’d been crying, maybe drinking some as well—he seemed mad,” Luna commented.

“Did he?” the guitarist said, trying to dodge, but he was a little too transparent to his daughter.

“Yeah, he did… What was he mad about, Papa?” she asked pointedly, not letting him off the hook that easily.

“That’s because we had kinda gotten into it a little.”

“Arguing, you mean? About what?” she asked.

“It’s not important—nothing for you to concern yourself about,” the guitarist said.

“Was he being a hypocrite as well as a drama queen?” she asked, thinking that maybe there had been some movement on the Papa/Heath front that she didn’t know about yet and Yoshiki was trying to play spoiler.

“Hypocrite? No. Drama queen? Always. But why would you assume hypocrite?” her dad asked.

“Oh, umm…just something Uncle Hide told me. Nevermind. So if it wasn’t that, why was he mad at you?”

Sugizo looked over at Heath who was trying desperately to mind his own business and finish his dinner so that he could make his escape. The bassist happened to look up at exactly the wrong time and Sugizo caught him with a ‘help me’ look.

“Uh uh…I’m not in this. This is between you and your daughter,” Heath said, shaking his head. “In fact, I was just about to excuse myself and let you two talk.”

“Heath, you don’t have to leave, seriously. I’m not gonna say anything you haven’t already heard,” the auburn-haired man said. Heath thought he looked like he could use some moral support, so he was finally convinced to stay.

Luna looked at her dad and waited for him to start his explanation, but he didn’t seem to be in any rush.

“Okay, so obviously there _is_ something for us to talk about. It’s concerning Uncle Yoshi, but it must be more than what you’ve already said, am I right?”

“He wasn’t exactly mad at me, just upset over the whole situation. He found out some things that he hadn’t known and it upset him,” Sugizo said.

She looked from her dad to Heath and back again. “So they were lovers, right? Okay, I knew that. But why would you and he be getting into an argument?”

“Well…he found out that he wasn’t the only one and that maybe things weren’t really like he remembered them,” the guitarist replied, still trying to be careful what he told the teenager.

“And you set him straight and he didn’t like that, I’m guessing,” she stated. A few moments later, a realization hit her and her eyes opened wider.

“Wait… ‘he wasn’t the only one’ as in you were the other one? You were arguing because he found out that you and Uncle Hide were lovers?!” Luna asked, looking rather surprised.

Sugizo knew his daughter was bright and a quick learner, but he hadn’t counted on her being _that_ perceptive.

The guitarist sighed and then slowly began to nod. “Well, to be completely honest—and I may as well be at this point—he knew that Hide and I had been lovers, he just didn’t know how serious our relationship was.”

“And how serious was it?” she asked.

He knew that question was coming. He looked down and pulled the band ring off his right hand, handing it over to her.

“Hide gave me that—look inside,” he said quietly.

She read the inscription and looked back up at her dad, her face a mixture of surprise and sadness. “You…you were married?”

“No, honey—but we were in love. Besides, same-sex marriage isn’t legal in Japan now, much less 14 plus years ago,” Sugizo told her. He then went quiet for a moment and tried to read her expression. “Umm, how do you feel knowing about me and Hide? Does that bother you?”

Looking down at the ring that she still held, remembering that her dad _always_ wore it, and now knowing what the significance was, she gave him a sad look and got up from the table. Moving around to him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and laid her head against his.

“Oh Papa…I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you ever tell me?” she asked, her voice full of emotion.

“I just thought you were too young to understand. That and I knew your mom would have some terrible things to say if you had mentioned it to her. But how do you feel about it? Tell me honestly.”

“I’m fine with it—you know I don’t care that you’re bi, I just want you to be happy. But it makes me really sad. It was bad enough when I knew you’d lost one of your best friends, but now…” She didn’t finish her thought, just hugged him tighter and he returned the embrace.

Heath quietly got up and went over to the bar and poured his friend a stiff drink, knowing he’d need one. While he was there, he poured one for himself as well.

Eventually returning to her seat after giving the ring back to her dad, she pushed her plate aside.

“So is that why Uncle Hide feels so comfortable here?”

“That might be part of it, but I think he knows none of us are freaked out by him being around and we genuinely love him and want him around us,” Heath answered, letting Sugizo get some brandy into him.

“I’m sorry I kept pushing and pushing the subject. I wasn’t trying to upset you, Papa,” Luna said.

“No, it’s okay, baby. You didn’t know and I really didn’t have to tell you, but…I guess today is just the day for honest confessions.” He paused and then looked over at Heath. “Anything you want to get off your chest, Hi-Chan?” Sugizo asked with as much of a grin as he could muster.

The bassist looked thoughtful for just a moment and then said, “Pass. What about you, Luna?”

“Hmmm…well, to be honest, I really want to dye my hair pink like Uncle Hide’s! You know, with some dark left underneath, but bright pink on top. Can I? Please?” the teenager asked.

Sugizo was in the middle of taking a drink and nearly snorted brandy out of his nose. “Oh god, that burns…” he said, waving his hand in front of his face. He coughed a couple times but was okay.

Heath reached over and patted his back but couldn’t help but laugh. “She got you!”

“Hey now, I’m serious over here. Can I? I mean, I’ve seen pictures of you with your hair done like that,” Luna asked again.

Sugizo shook his head. “Child, you know your school won’t allow that!”

“They might if you clear it with them first. Please?! Uncle Hide means a lot to me and it’d kinda be like my tribute to him,” she pleaded.

The guitarist looked skyward for a moment and smiled. “Tell you what—let me talk to the school and see what they say. Your mom will have a coronary, you know that, right?!”

“Ask me if I give a damn,” Luna said coldly.

“Luna!” Sugizo said, trying to admonish her for the language, but unable to keep himself from grinning. Heath wasn’t doing any better.

“What?!” she replied.

“Language!”

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay…sorry.”

“Listen, I don’t really give a damn what she thinks either, but until the final custody hearing, we have to be careful, okay?” the guitarist reminded her.

“When is that again? The sooner the better,” Luna asked.

“Another month or so. We’re actually due for another home inspection soon, but that shouldn’t be a problem,” Sugizo said.

“And the tour is coming up once school is out, right?” she asked.

“Yup—two or three weeks after that. I need to start work on getting your passport. Heath, please remind me about that,” the guitarist said. “But right now, you need to get to work on your homework and get ready for bed, young lady,” he said with a smile.

Once she’d gathered up all the dishes and cleared the table, Luna did as her dad asked, smiling when she thought about actually getting to go on tour with him.

_‘Wish Uncle Heath could come along too, but it’ll be fun regardless,’_ she thought as she sat down at her desk. _‘I’m definitely going to need some new clothes for this!’_

_______________

“Meet me in the living room in ten minutes? I need to change into something more comfortable…unless you’re ready to go to bed,” Sugizo said, trying to be considerate, but it didn’t come out of his mouth the way it sounded in his head.

Heath couldn’t help himself—that one was a gift. “Is that an invitation?” he asked with a sly grin and raised eyebrows.

The guitarist returned the sly grin. “That’s not what I initially meant, but hey…if you say ‘yes’ we’ll call it a happy accident!”

“Okay then, ‘yes’. Your room in ten minutes?” Heath asked and then leaned in and gave Sugizo a gentle kiss.

“Don’t be late…” the auburn-haired man said with a grin.

As good as his word, ten minutes later Heath knocked lightly and then opened the door to Sugizo’s room.

“Hey, you dressed?” he asked in a whisper.

“Yeah, come in.”

“Ah, darn…was hoping you weren’t,” the bassist said with a grin.

“Well, I don’t have to stay that way…” Sugizo started. “Just have to wait until Luna’s asleep, that’s all.”

“I should probably close my door so she thinks I’m in there, huh?”

“Yeah, go do that. We don’t need to play 20 Questions with a teenager in the morning,” the guitarist replied with a chuckle.

Once Heath returned, he quietly closed the bedroom door behind him and turned to his friend who was sitting on the bed.

“Should I lock it?”

“Yeah, just in case. She doesn’t normally just walk right into my bedroom, but I guarantee she’ll pick the worse time to do it. Better lock it.”

Heath did as he was asked and then walked over and sat next to Sugizo on the bed.

“Tell me something…she’s 15, right?” the dark-haired man asked.

The guitarist nodded.

“Obviously she knows you’re bi and now she knows about you and Hide. How do you think she’d take it if she did catch you with someone? Another man, I mean.”

“Hmmm…well, I know she wants me to be in a relationship with someone. She’s all worried about me being lonely. One night at dinner she asked me about a few people to see if they were currently single or not.” He paused and chuckled. “They were all guys too. She knows I’m not really interested in women anymore.”

“Oh she did, did she? Playing matchmaker?”

“She’d like to. But yeah, it’s one thing for her to know I’m dating or am interested in a guy, but quite another for her to actually _catch_ us together. Kissing or hugging would be fine, but past that…I’m not sure how she’d deal with that. You know, the whole ‘gross parental sex’ thing.” He laughed again. “You know your parents had to have had sex to bring you into this world…but you sure as hell don’t want to _see_ it!”

They both had a laugh at that and made faces when they let themselves imagine their own parents.

“Yeah, no…I don’t want to think about that either,” Heath said, still chuckling.

Sugizo laughed some as well, but the pleasant expression dropped from his face rather quickly. A sigh confirmed his mood. Despite their light conversation and laughter, the bassist knew his friend pretty well and could tell that under that smile there was still a touch of sadness. He looked him in the eyes and placed a hand on his leg.

“Are you okay, ‘Zo? Anything I can do?”

The guitarist dropped his gaze and gave a little smile.

“Am I that transparent?” he asked.

“To me you are. Long day, huh?” Heath answered.

“I’m sorry—not trying to be a downer here. It’s just been an emotional one.”

“Yeah, I understand. You’ve had a draining day telling Yoshi and Toshi the truth about you and Hide and then having to tell Luna as well.” He paused and shook his head. “Dealing with Yoshi and his emotional self couldn’t have been easy this afternoon.”

Sugizo sighed. “Well no, but despite how possessive and arrogant he can be regarding Hide…I’m still sorry he had to find out the way he did. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Listen, I don’t know how you’ve managed to keep quiet about it all these years—I couldn’t have. And you’ve been working closely with Yoshi for the last few years too… I think you deserve a medal,” Heath said, rubbing the man’s thigh.

“You know what was the worst? Being around him at parties when everyone was drinking and laughing and telling things they shouldn’t about each other…and he’d start about Hide. No one would dare question him or god forbid challenge him on anything and I’d just have to get away before I lost my cool and said things I shouldn’t have.”

“You should have! I mean, everyone loves Yo-Chan but I don’t think anyone thinks he’s always right and beyond reproach.”

“And he’s not. A lot of our friends believe things about him and Hide that are total fabrications of his imagination. I think he’s been telling these stories so long he’s forgotten what’s true and what he’s embellished. But no, the time and place haven’t been right. I would never want to embarrass him in public. But today…it all came out and I couldn’t seem to stop myself,” Sugizo replied. “Still so much I want to say to him though…”

“He’s a grown man—he’ll be okay, ‘Zo. Look, if he’s really going to marry Toshi, he needs to let go of some of this attachment to Hide, don’t you think?”

Sugizo sighed again. “You’re probably right.”

“And the next time he starts telling some of his stories, you just give him a sideways look and hopefully he’ll shut up! Just please let me be there when you do it!”

The guitarist laughed. “Okay, deal. Hey, you want a drink? I think I could use one.”

“Sure. I think we could both use something to mellow us out. What you got hidden in the deep recesses of that liquor cabinet?” Heath asked with a smile and got up from the bed.

“Hmm…I think I might still have some good stuff stashed away. Let’s go look.”

After literally getting down on the floor and pulling bottle after bottle out of the bottom of the cabinet, Sugizo finally found what he was looking for—an old, dusty bottle of aged whiskey that he had gotten on one of their trips abroad.

“Here we go…taste this,” he said proudly, pouring a shot for Heath.

“Mmmm…smooooth. I like that,” the bassist said, his eyes lighting up.

“Good, I thought you would. I need to see if I can find some more of this,” Sugizo said, pouring two proper-sized drinks. Before he put the bottle down though, he poured a small shot for Hide and lifted the glass skyward. “For you, Doll,” he said and placed the glass on the tabletop portion of the cabinet.

They sat on the dining room floor right there amongst all of those bottles and enjoyed their drinks, talking in depth about liquor preferences and where the best came from. When each glass was almost empty, the guitarist poured more and then put the bottle away along with the rest. Laughing, they finally got up off the floor.

“Shall we?” Heath asked, starting back toward the bedrooms.

Sugizo nodded and followed. Once they got back to the door of the master suite, Heath paused. “Listen, if you’d really rather just go on to bed alone, I understand. You’ve had a trying day.”

The guitarist smiled a little and leaned against the doorframe. “Yeah, it’s been an interesting one, but…that’s why I’d really like to have your company. I am feeling a little lonely, truth be told.”

Heath smiled. “Say no more.” With that, he leaned forward and lightly kissed the man and then headed back into the bedroom.

They had no more gotten into the room and closed the door than Sugizo heard Luna’s voice.

“Papa? You still up?” he heard her say in a loud whisper.

“Yeah, just a second!” he said and put his glass on the nearby table. “Go in the bathroom,” he instructed Heath almost silently and when the adjoining door had been closed, he opened the bedroom door to his daughter.

“Hey, finished my homework and I’m off to bed. Just wanted to say ‘goodnight’ and see if you were okay,” she said, sounding concerned for her dad.

He nodded and gave her a little smile. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

She studied him for a moment. “No, you’re not—but you’re awfully brave. Again, I’m sorry I kept being a pest at dinner. I mean, I’m glad I know about you and Uncle Hide, but I’m sure it hurts to talk about it sometimes.”

“It’s okay, baby…nothing for you to be sorry about.” He pulled her into a warm hug and then kissed her on the forehead. “You get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay, but Papa…I know I’m just a kid, but if you ever need to talk…well, you know,” she said with a smile.

“You’re such a treasure…love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you too. And don’t forget to ask about the hair thing please!” she added with a grin and reached up to place another kiss on his cheek. “’Night!”

“’Night!” he said with a chuckle.

Shaking his head, he closed the door and retrieved his glass from the table. As he was walking over to the bed, the bathroom door opened and Heath slowly peeked out, making sure Sugizo was by himself.

“It’s cool—we’re alone,” the guitarist said, sipping on his drink.

The bassist walked out of the bathroom laughing. “She’s really intent on getting her hair colored, isn’t she?” he asked, sitting on the bed next to his friend.

“Yeah, I guess she is,” Sugizo said, shaking his head. “There’s no way the school will allow it, though. She should know that. They’re very serious about their uniform code.”

“God, I hated wearing uniforms in school. I mean, I sorta understand why it’s important, but it leaves no room for self-expression. Probably one of the reasons I became a musician in the first place,” Heath said.

The auburn-haired man nodded. “Well, I was expected to join the symphony, ya know. Yeah, about that…” he chuckled. “I guess you could say I went completely off the rails.”

“I think you’ve done alright for yourself though, you delinquent you.”

“Not too bad, I guess. Not at all how I saw my life unfolding when I was Luna’s age though. That was before the rebellion really set in.” He chuckled and then paused to think, shaking his head. “I know how Luna feels though—it’s tough at that age having to do and be and look how someone else wants you to.”

“It is. I’m old now but I vaguely remember,” Heath replied.

“Can you remember back that far, you old fart?” the guitarist asked with a cheeky grin.

“Just barely. One thing I’m really glad about though—there were no camera phones or social media when I was young and stupid. Oh my god…the evidence would be damning.”

Sugizo laughed and nodded. “Ain’t that the truth?! But ya know, I think I know what to do about this pink hair situation. I’ll call and ask the school like I promised, but I know what they’ll say. Then once school is out and the final custody hearing is behind us, I’ll let her color her hair for the summer and the tour. Think that’ll get me any votes for Father of the Year?”

“From her? Yes. Reina is gonna have a literal fit though, you know that,” Heath responded, just imagining the meltdown Sugizo’s ex was going to have.

“Ask me if I give a damn…”

Both men laughed at that and then clinked glasses in a toast, tossing back the remaining whiskey and placing the empty glasses on the nightstand.

“Stay with me tonight? Your virtue will be safe—I’m too tired and drained to get up to anything right now,” Sugizo said, sounding as if he’d probably fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

“Baby, my virtue was taken out and shot _years_ ago…but yeah, I’ll stay. You look like you could use a nice, warm cuddle,” Heath replied.

“Mmmm…cuddles…” the auburn-haired man said, crawling under the covers and looking up, waiting for the other man to join him.

Heath slipped between the sheets and then pulled Sugizo to him, holding him close. When the other man slid down a little and placed his head on Heath’s chest, a undeniable warm feeling spread throughout his body.

_‘I could so get used to this,’_ Heath thought, smiling and gently carding his fingers through the long, auburn and black hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the formatting gaffe. I've tried to fix it but to no avail. If you see anything else strange, please let me know and I'll attempt to edit it. :)


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